【親密關係】如何科學“吵架”高效溝通!情緒失控,發揮不好統統解決

Hi, I'm Wang Linlin. I'm talking about dating. I know from the episode that serious fighting can improve intimacy There are a million ways to get into a quarrel Some end with one party successfully convincing the other party. Do you want to have a play with me Some end with one side of the city fighting the will to say no say no you some end with a burst of passion You don't want to quarrel. How about a scientific quarrel, a high-class quarrel, a beautiful quarrel, and a world peace? I summed it up Why we fight Why we fight And how we fight The first reason we fight What are we fighting about? How many of us forget what we're fighting about. How many of us are fighting that turns into life attacks and racking up old scores You don't love them anymore I'm disgusted with myself but when the other person is acting up or not being articulate you just have to do one thing Listen carefully no matter how uncomfortable the other person's emotions, language and body movements may make you It is best to nod occasionally to show that you are paying attention and not to interrupt the process Don't argue, don't argue or that's what it's likely to be sorry But at the end of the other person's presentation you need to pluralize and summarize what he just said and of course you want to talk about the problem and then you want to solve it this way. Is that correct If the other person wants to correct it, let him or her continue to correct it until the problem is clear enough to discuss together The point here is that you don't want to think that this is unnecessary because it at least brings one person to a calm state and identifies the cause of the fight and the other person's fighting out of control After all, it's easy to overestimate your ability to understand and trust the other person. Think back to every fight you've ever had. Did you really figure out what the other person was trying to argue about Do you really understand? Really? Really? The point of an argument is how to solve problems effectively. Conflict is often because both parties think I must be right Be sure to listen to me and get bogged down here and I hope you can ask each other a question that you hope is in our best interest Do not look down upon this sentence. He can make himself and the other party clear about what he really wants Are you working together to find the best solution or are you just trying to win the other side? If it's the former, you're still willing to compromise for the other side. The problem is pretty much solved because you're on the same side To be able to understand each other if it's the latter which is I want to win to be honest the essence is to see at the end Who is more willing to give up for each other The one who loves the other more even if they can afford to make up time or give a gift but one of them is going to feel disrespected and I want you to keep that in mind Every choice we make in a relationship every decision we make can be a reason for the other person to leave you one day without hesitation Try to make the other person feel that you care about his feelings because love is limited and it's gone. The third way to fight is to fight face to face Some people just go off the deep end and some people just aren't good with words If you know you just can't help it or fight in person you don't have the upper hand you should do it with the other person The first of the three rules in an argument is to abandon face-to-face communication altogether and send a long text or letter In fact, writing can help you sort out your emotions and problems slowly and calm down. If no one speaks to you, you won't be able to argue You can slowly code words without worrying about how you're going to play them and you're going to sort through the context as you write them You will start to pay attention to your words and you won't have to worry about being interrupted or interrupted by the other person. By the time you finish writing, you will have a goo d release of your own emotions Words are powerful enough not only to convey emotions and information You can also avoid the risk of friction in person and the second thing is to put a time limit on the fight and my advice is no more than 24 hours and whatever you're fighting about you have to resolve it within that time frame, right First of all, it's a long time and it's a long time and it's a long time and it's a long time and it's a long time and it's a long time and it's a long time and it's a long time and it's a long time and it's a long time and it's a long time The spirit of the contract And the third one that I think is very important is to have physical contact after college. Physical contact and cuddling are both the triggers for oxytocin in both men and women It's a hormone that gives you a sense of well-being so I understand sometimes But you can't guarantee that it will work every time, can you? So in summary, it's important to learn to listen carefully and to identify th e reason for the fight and to think it through Do you fight to win each other or to solve the problem for both sides to win? Writing can also be a good way of communication. Anyway, please remember every word of the business man's words during the quarrel Every action, every choice and decision can be the reason for the future person to leave you without hesitation, so learn to fight well with each other will be better Please stay curious with me. We'll see you next time. Bye