China’s Pandas Are a MENACE to the World

So I go I want to start off the podcast with some good news Because well, we'll have lots of bad news to talk about later. But the good news is America is finally panda free. Oh, you're gonna start with that. Oh, yeah. Yes. That's the best news from From sea to sea and a free. I'm sorry Chris. You're wrong. There's still pandas in the Atlanta Zoo Damn it. Damn it this country. We used to have a country Well, at least there's fewer pandas the dc the washington dc smithsonian zoo gave the pandas back to china Well, probably china demanded them back. Yes. It's like reverse panda diplomacy. Yeah Well, I mean that's that's part of the panda diplomacy like, you know Hey you you be nice to china We give you these stupid bears people like to look at for some reason because they're pretty adorable at least when they're babies Come on, baby panda cubs are pretty cute. Like not when they're just born when they're just born. They have like those little pink Like they look like a little yes body horror. Yeah, but after they grow fur Like they're pretty cute Yeah, whatever now here's the thing I think about pandas So when china loans pandas to the u.s They still belong to china, but their offspring according to these rules that the u.s agreed to their offspring also belong to china Yeah, I mean, it's not just the u.s. The whole world agreed to this Yeah, and I think that's terrible because the u.s has birthright citizenship for humans So we should at least have it for panda So we should be able to keep any pandas born in the united states Or at least the pandas should be able to choose. I am not sharing my citizenship with a panda, but they're cute Why do why does everyone think that? I mean, they're objectively adorable. I think I actually Objectively cute scientifically prove that actually many years ago I was at the smithsonian zoo when the original pandas. I think one of them had died but like ling ling was still alive and Like this was when we were kids and they actually had an exhibit that showed why people find pandas to be cute And it has a lot of ccp propaganda like the way their eyes look like it has to do with their fur Yeah, the the face shape is like more rounded than like a lot of bears and then like the the eye Yeah, the black around the eyes like it looks like they have big eyes Yeah, and they're the larger heads compared to the bodies also is a cuteness factor. That's ridiculous Do you know what? I think is who I think is cute william defoe nice small beady eyes narrow face craggy Like yeah adorable. Why can't we have william defoe diplomacy? I think there's only one william defoe is the problem. That's what makes it so good. It's scarcity It's like hey if you get william Oh, that was the panda thing, right? it was scarcity until they started kind of like making a panda industry and like Manufacturing pandas and shipping them off to all these are they able to get them to breed? I thought that was yeah They are possible that actually was so basically the problem with that is that they were just assuming that like any male and any Female panda they just put them together And they if they didn't breed then pandas didn't like to breed but actually Apparently in a lot of cases is that they didn't like each other. So like they actually when they kind of started control for Like seeing if the pandas were compatible then that You know helped the breeding problem and there's one panda. I forget his name who likes sired like 50 offspring yeah, there's this one panda in china who was just became like this panda letharia where he was just the panda casanova, he just has a bunch of offspring because he was able to Breed with a lot of females. He liked him. I gotta admire that But yeah, it is interesting though because the like removal of the pandas from the smithsonian is kind of I was thinking about how it's almost like the pandas were the original belt and road initiative in some ways where it was kind of like the China was like, okay We have these pandas and we will share them with the world and then Instead of like so the first pandas to the us smithsonian zoo In the 70s under nixon. They were a gift And then they stopped doing that and they started just loaning pandas out to Zoos across the world and they're expensive Yeah, it was like a million dollars a year in fees or something And and they charge interest on the pandas because if they produce offspring they also belong to china and I think you have to pay For like the birth pandas like if they're if the new pandas are born under your care you have to pay china more money Yeah yeah, but it was worth it for the zoos because they got enough of an uptick in People wanting to go see pandas and they could sell panda merch and do all this stuff But now you can replace pandas with artificial intelligent panda robots or william defoe William defoe just goes to germany and then atlanta and then san diego william defoe dolls. Yeah, that sounds adorable Uh, yeah emaciated Am I the only one who thinks I like the cut of his jib? Okay. Yeah. Yeah you and madonna Really? There was that it was a movie that william defoe and madonna were in where like I can't Strange. I didn't know about that I can't remember but essentially she seduced him in the movie Okay anyway Uh, so anyway, so pandas were the original belt and road where you know at first everyone was like cool pandas Yes, like, you know, it was the soft power thing. And then they started to be like actually these loan terms kind of suck and then When the ccp was mad at you, they could take the pandas back which they are pretty bad as I imagine Yeah, but like not just the u.s. But like there have been You know problems with other countries and pandas so then it kind of becomes like do we really want the man? When somebody meets with the the dalai lama The dalai lama is cuter than pandas. So I think get rid of the pandas keep the dalai lama The dalai lama does have a lot of self soft power for one old You know buddhist guy. Yeah More than you can say about most old buddhist guys true so what you're saying is that the smithsonian zoo should invite the dalai lama to come and Like host him as a give a speech or something and that will uh That will solidify that like basically we are going to retaliate For the taking back of the pandas. No smithsonian screw They're gonna they're gonna lose a bunch of money by not having some stupid pandas, which I think is a good thing because if anything I have learned over the years Is that when those exhibits come to life at night? in museums They're a menace. I'm, pretty sure the pandas are already alive Can you call that living? I mean they do have a pretty cushy side actually one interesting thing with the pandas going away is that You know people have been talking about that on twitter or x or whatever and I don't look at it that much anymore but You know looking for this podcast. I found out that there's apparently a lot of propaganda in china claiming that You know, the us was mistreating the pandas. Really? Yeah, if only if I were in charge Oh That would be true. There were people were you know tweeting this because people would talk about the pandas and there would be a bunch of kind of like who knows if they're bots or just like pro ccp tankies or But like replying with like photos of this panda who was supposedly like losing fur off his back when he was in the u.s You know, he was being mistreated and the after panda like Super happy to be back in china his motherland. Yeah, so it was interesting and that narrative was actually In several of the threads and replies I saw where people were like, yeah, the u.s mistreats the pandas Yeah, well, I mean really that is like how the ccp treats overseas chinese people that they all belong to them and you really you would be happier if you were back in china, I Don't know if you guys fur would grow back If I was in china, yes