Cha tốt hơn hay mẹ tốt hơn? Tập 63 | Khóa học dành cho cha mẹ

There are a lot of ways to tease young people that are not right. Among them, there is a kind of teasing that there are some people who often say that, especially when they are young, or when they are 1 or 2 years old, they will encounter this kind of question. Is dad better or is mom better? Do you love dad or mom? Is this a phenomenon in Taiwan? Yes, I have heard of it. How will such a question affect young people? Is this a good question or a bad question? For a young person, such a question is very difficult to answer. How do you want me to answer? I remember that adults around often teach young people how to answer the question that is dad better or mom better? Directly teach young people how to answer such a question to avoid the case that young people do not know how to answer. But this problem does not usually occur at this age. Sometimes young people who are only 10 months old already have such a question. At that time, there is no way to answer that they are all good. So in this situation, as I said before, adults should really pay attention to what they say. For those who have the opportunity to watch this program, I really hope that you do not ask such difficult questions. I think this issue needs to be taken seriously. Secondly, in the case that adults do not watch our program, what should we do? This is a problem that we discuss together. Maybe a guest, a member of the family, or even because they are not careful, sometimes we will compare. At least we also want to receive compliments. In the end, who do young people like? Do young people like dad or mom? If the person next to you hears this question, please answer for the young person that both are good. You do not need to wait for the young person to answer. Especially when the young person does not know how to speak, there are people who ask such questions. The young person has started to accept some things. Although it is not too clear, you need to answer for the young person that both are very good. Even when you are a guest, you can teach the young person the right answer. Right. Why do I really hope that people should not ask this question? Is this question really so serious? There is a little bit serious because this question can last for a long time until the child goes to elementary school. Right. We need to know that it is not easy for a child to grow up. We have seen a lot of problems in the process of growing up. There are a lot of connections that have been lost. When the child is 10 months old, the child has the ability to distinguish strangers and acquaintances. When he sees a stranger, he will hug the acquaintance tightly and even hide his face. That's right. The child knows strangers very well. In addition, the child will develop another ability very clearly, that is, he can find a toy. For example, the toy he often plays with is deliberately put in the toy. By telling the child to find that toy, the child has the ability to distinguish clearly. Children at this time really need to be nurtured by rules. When the child is 10 months old, why can he set up rules? It is because he can distinguish that he can set up rules. If the child can't even distinguish this and that, he can't set up rules. When he can set up rules, it is when the child can distinguish the difference. At this time, you ask the child that do you like this or that? Do you like dad more or mom more? You are leading the child to a wrong distinction. During the next 5 to 6 years, the child is still a child and the child is also lazy. In the past, there was a saying in Fujian that watermelons should choose the big one. It means that when choosing watermelons, everyone likes to choose the big one. There is also a phenomenon among the people that they stay where they feel good. They choose where they feel comfortable. Children can also be lazy. So when the child is still too young, we force the child to make a choice. What do you think the child will choose? The child will start to observe his parents and see who is easier to get close to that person. So how do you raise your child to be a good child? It's not easy. To become a good child, it's really not easy. Because the child will discover that if you are less disciplined, more comfortable, and buy ice cream for the child to eat, then the child will say, mom is better. Isn't this the way you lead the child? Don't ask me that kind of question. That's right. The second stage is that we say that everything is fine. So let's invite parents and grandparents to come to one side. That is, when setting the rules, everyone should discuss together. When the child is tidying up the toys, we will create a good environment for the child to set the rules so that the toys return to their original position. The 10-month-old can start setting the rules. That's right. Even though the child hasn't gone back yet, you can tell the child, when the toys are finished, you need to put them in the right position. You can tell the child, now this ball should be placed in this position and the child will understand clearly. When the child is 10 months old, we should do this. In our daily lives, adults around children must follow the same rule. So you don't need to set too many rules. Even if there is only one rule, that is, bring the toys back to their original position. Even if there is only one rule, everyone must have the same unified attitude. In front of the child like this, hold the child's little hand in the right position and praise him. Oh, you're so good. You know how to tidy up the toys when you're done playing. That's right. We're having a lot of fun right now. And the child knows how to observe the face of an adult. The child sees that the child himself has contributed. Because the child can stand up very quickly. A lot of children can stand up a month later. The child is 10 months old. Actually, he can stand up very quickly. The child has started to move. At this time, set up a good foundation for the child to know that good rules can bring joy to others. Do you remember a principle that we talked about before? Beautiful things always attract others. Always keep the passion of sharing. When you raise a child, if you get a little bit of joy like that, then quickly share it. Your sharing will also encourage other people's enthusiasm for learning. And other people will also find that it's not too difficult. I remember I had a college classmate. He was a boy. I often made something for everyone to eat. I was very hospitable. There was a boy in the class. When he ate, he often dropped a piece of rice on the table. He was a very excellent student. He was really good. No one said anything in class. Only he said, this habit is not good. He said a sentence, if I have a child in the future, I hope I can teach my child the rules from childhood. He realized this, but how can it change? Because he has grown up. No one guides him about this. And maybe the situation at that time thought that learning was the most important thing. So these aspects of life were ignored. Until he grew up like this, maybe in important events, as long as he is tense, the bad things will come out. But we all know that in the US, everyone hears it like a story. But I know people who have a lot of experience in this field, like Ms. Chen, in life when looking for a son-in-law, a daughter-in-law, business partners, etc. As long as you pass the ceremony on the table, they have completed observing you and decided whether to cooperate with you or not. So small habits will have a huge impact on your life in the future. That's right. I used to help some people date or help interview for many companies. In which the ceremony of eating is very important. I remember my father taught me very carefully. My father said every time he opened the rice cooker, the first thing is not to scoop more rice immediately. The most important thing is to scoop the rice with a spoon and turn it from the outside to the inside. Because the rice in the middle is the best. People often have a habit of scooping rice in the middle. That's right. Everyone is used to scooping rice in the middle of the rice cooker. The rice outside will be drier and harder. That's right. And not everyone. And not everyone comes to eat together. There are many people in the company and many people in the family. You come and go. There will be no one to eat the rice outside. That's right. I used this small habit in my life and the philosophy behind it. What is the philosophy? I am willing to share good things with everyone. I am willing to prevent everything before it happens. There are two philosophies behind this little rule. Once I was invited by a big company to train employees at the end of the year. On the first day, during lunch time, I especially told them not to come and pick me up for lunch. Because usually, the teachers will be placed and they will come in the day before. The dishes will also be placed first. At that time, I especially told them you don't have to worry about me. It's time to go to school. Everyone, go and eat. Then I was the last one to go to the restaurant that day. Next to me, there was an assistant. I asked my assistant to take a picture. I told him to take whatever he took. And after everyone finished eating, everyone left. At that time, there were not many people left in the restaurant. Then I started to use my meal. During the afternoon class that day, I took out the pictures I took during lunch. The first step was the dishes I ate that day. A bowl of rice with some food and some other dishes. Then I asked everyone, these are the dishes I ate for lunch today. I asked everyone, where did they come from? Where did they come from? That's right, where did they come from? Everyone felt it. It's a simple question. Such an easy question. What's so good to ask? That's right. Of course, from the restaurant. I asked where in the restaurant. In the pot. Then I took out the second picture. In the picture, there was a lot of rice falling out of the pot. Then I put it in my rice bowl. The vegetables fell out. I also put it in my plate of vegetables. I said, I ate these dishes. It's eating the things you don't need. Why? This is a self-education. Today, the work you do with the philosophy behind it is to serve others. When you have no way to face the shortcomings of the customer, it is very difficult for you to serve perfectly. At that time, the work of selling goods is very hard. Because in fact, this is a fairly large company related to selling goods. The third picture is a large rice cooker. Rice. At that time, the rice in the middle was gone. Leaving a big hole. That's right. The rice outside is still intact. Then I shared with everyone the philosophy that my father taught. I said, so where is the biggest problem of the company? Please tell me your opinion. You don't have to say it. Ms. Chen also knows. Just go through a rice cooker and you can tell that people don't care about taking care of each other. That's right. So everyone was very surprised at that time. Because before that, the company had invited a lot of professional management experts to set up a lot of good system systems, to participate in a lot of science about faces. But the problem was that that heart didn't open up. They didn't establish a shared relationship between everyone. They didn't care about the state of mind and the needs of others at any time. So if you keep trying to achieve your goal, maybe there will be a little bit of difficulty, a little bit of nature. It's just something fake for a show. You can't fool customers. So now everyone understands that all problems are solved. Just go through a rice cooker and you can see that when I do this job, I don't care about my colleagues but I care about how much money I make. That's what happened. And in the end, the company didn't achieve its goal, although it had set a very high goal, very far, very beautiful. That's right. To be honest, I made a lot of money, but a lot of people like that with too high costs can actually benefit more because you have invested a lot of money and everyone wants to raise it up. But at that time they thought, why did I spend so much money and make so many reforms? But it seems that the rate of improvement that needs to be achieved has not been achieved and finally found the reason is that people's hearts do not change. How did it go after that? After that, it was very interesting. On the third day, everyone can hold hands, form a circle and speak out their thoughts. Of course, there was one person who really expressed his thoughts that were stuck for 30 years. Stuck for 30 years? What is it? It's 20 years, 30 years with colleagues, etc. Maybe in other people's eyes it's not a big deal, but if the things in your heart are not resolved, when you can't get over it, it will stay in your heart for a long time. At that time, after everyone opened their hearts to speak out, and finally released the buttons in their hearts, the strength of the whole team was completely different. You help everyone discover the black substances in your heart. Their school will be more and more pure. From this moment on, everyone is united together. So what was the result? At that time, I saw someone crying. They not only cried but also acted, which is to apologize to others because they really didn't know it would hurt others. Just like we don't know how to ask our children, do you like your father more or your mother more? Such a question will really hurt children.