COMMENT GRANDIR EN ÉTANT DÉTRUIT avec @LoannLV - L'ASCENSION | Ep.07

Once you have the inspiration, once you're motivated, once you've played, I don't know, what video game, that you've watched Naruto, that you're good, do you need to replay it every day and create this addiction? It's like if a guy only watches your videos all day, or only my videos, it's still entertainment, you know? You know, in motivation, there's motivation, but there's also action. If the guy only has motivation, it's useless. I was depressed for a year and a half, maybe. On the spot, I think I've never cried so much in my life, like, in a week. There are times when you allow yourself to cry, because it's unbearable and all, and there are times when you forbid it. If someone in your family just died, and you have a big, big grudge right now, prepare yourself for a year, a year and a half, maybe two years, maybe more, where you will inevitably be sad. You can't not be sad. Now, what do you do with sadness? That's what's important. From the emotion of sadness, you can cry, eat ice cream and watch sad movies, but you can also cry, do push-ups and create a YouTube channel. And it doesn't stop you from being sad, it doesn't stop you from crying. I feel like I've done a sprint that's the length of a marathon, actually. Because while I was doing this YouTube channel, I made three videos a week, every week, and I never gave up, and I only did that. Now I look back and I say to myself, wow, I did all that, we're 100,000 in a few months, and it's better to tell yourself that than to say to yourself, ah, I'm happy, I'm not sad anymore. But there's nothing, you know? Hi Lohan. Hi. It's a pleasure to welcome you today. A pleasure to share. Tell me, how did the road go for you to get here today? Great subject to start with, indeed. So, I come from Vosges, and my BlaBlaCar drops me off at the exit of the highway. I see I have an hour's walk, and I see I have an hour to get to the podcast. So I say to myself, easy, I'm going to walk, it's going to feel good. You know, the routine, going out, the sun, etc. So I go, the first 40 minutes are going well, I cross towns and villages, and there I come across a mountain, and Google Maps, there's no more road, there's just one direction. And really, there's no more road on Google Maps, there's just the direction, basically. And so, I go into the mountains, there's a lot of little paths, little trails, I take webs in my face, you know, like spiders. I don't know if you know what they are, I don't know what they're called. They're not animals, but they're little things, they're kind of spikes that stick to your hair, and I've had them everywhere. Wow, you surprise me. You tell me you've crossed forests and everything. Yes, yes, but there was a time in the forest, where the trail was so small, that it was actually a path like this, and I only had room to put one foot, I couldn't be two feet away. So... Frankly, as we said earlier, this podcast, you really deserved it. Yeah, that's it. You arrived at the destination at about the time that was planned. It's 11.42 in the morning, so that's perfect, you could change, we talked a little bit, it's been maybe three quarters of an hour since we met. Yeah, more or less. More or less. I'm going to talk quickly about how we met, so we just got in touch, it was a subscriber of mine who had shared a message with me that you had published on your channel, in the community tab, in which you invited content creators, if they had a podcast, potentially, if they were interested, to invite you, quite simply. So they shared that with me, like, maybe the feed could be interesting, I saw that, I said to myself, why not, I've known you for a few months, I saw your videos appear, there you really took a peak in terms of popularity, you're approaching 100,000 subscribers, right? And how long has it been since you launched this channel? Late December, late December. Okay, almost a year. Yeah. Okay, incredible, honestly, congratulations for that, we'll talk about it later, the work process and all that, I have a lot of questions to ask you about that. But yeah, I wanted to come back to our very first call, and you told me right away that you knew the channel, and you followed mainly one speaker, can you tell us which one? David Goggins, who is right there, I don't know if we can see him on the camera. He's behind, anyway, the whole community is on it. What do you find in David Goggins that speaks to you? First of all, I love the French voice, first thing. It's a pleasure, thank you. When I got you on the phone and I heard David Goggins' voice, I was shocked, I was like, wow, but it's the guy who does the voice, you know, you can find a guy on Fiverr or something like that. And I like the side, you know, discipline, you know, the punchlines, I don't know if you translated that, who's going to carry the boat, you know. Of course, of course. The big punchlines. Who's going to come with the boat? Where you're under the bedside table, where you're hitting the bag and you can't take it anymore, but you think about it again, you say to yourself, no, but the guy did it, even while I was coming, on the way, you know, the path, I was hot, I sweat everywhere and everything, but I was thinking, yes, but David Goggins, because I had slept for an hour that night, so yes, on the bedside table, that's exactly what he did, he slept for an hour, the same. Beautiful, beautiful. Throughout the week, by the way. It's been a long time since you've been following this kind of content, all that, personal devs? Not at all, not at all. So David Goggins, he's one of my best friends, his name is Elian, he told me about it four or five months ago, so I had already launched the channel at that time, and we had watched one of your videos, and I loved it, and I watched all the videos you made about David Goggins, but no, it's really been a while since I've known this guy, and I know this whole universe, you know, it's been a while. Ok, ok, great. So you said it's been about a year since you launched your YouTube channel? Yeah, rather 7 months, 7-8 months. Almost a year, ok, not exactly a year, but it's been a lot longer than that, that you're on YouTube, that you manage YouTube channels, that you're in this field. How did you start, how did you get on the platform, that you started creating content, what attracted you to this kind of work, knowing that it's been, I'll let you give the duration. It's been 10 years. Incredible. So I started at 10, I was in 6th grade, and before that, I was already doing, there was my father's camcorder, where I was already making little videos, you know, you had to know Norman, Cyprien, all that, and I was doing like them, and I was trying to do my own editing, and I posted that on YouTube, so it's really the cliché of the annoying guy, it's a podcast about going home, it's really the cliché, but I really did that, and I did a lot of things like that. At 10 years old? At 10 years old, so obviously, I was getting insulted everywhere, sending that to WhatTheCut, sending that to Salut les Geeks, I don't know if you know them, and so I did that for a year, two years, then I switched to a mixed format, I must have had 500 subscribers, and then I switched to a mixed format, which was a podcast, but about video games, I mean, I talk about video games, and I make jokes like, game chronicles, it's a universe that's apart with these YouTubers, and so I get into that game, I do that for two years, and it worked a little better, I think I had a small community of maybe 3-4,000 subscribers, something like that, So on a channel that you created at 10 years old? That's it. And then, I joined the Trash channel, so first I was an editor, and I was an editor for YouTubers, and I wrote scripts for videos for people, especially Trash, so in the old days, maybe 2018 and more, all the videos of the Trash channel that talked about history, it was me who wrote them and edited them, and then, we created our own video game channel with Trash, so it was me who took care of it, since I already had my video game channel and I was already at Trash, Trash wanted to make a video game channel, How did the collaboration with Trash happen? It was a contest, they had made a video on their channel, Pokemon Trash at the time, with 100,000 subscribers, and they recruited people in their team, two people, and you had to make a video in a funny way, where you wrote, you edited yourself, and you said the 5 worst Pokemon you didn't like, and you had thousands of subscribers, and they all watched them live, so it was the two guys from Pokemon Trash at the time, Neoxys and Ascans, they all watched the videos live, they had an Excel board and everything, and the thing is that they watched 2 seconds of each video because there were thousands of them, they clicked on the video if the lighting was ugly, if the guy was mumbling, if it wasn't pretty, they clicked on the next one, they put, I remember, a dash when it was good, they put a V next to the Excel when it was very good, and at the end of the live, which lasted until 1 or 2 o'clock in the morning, there were 5 Vs, including me, including my old Deo at the time, and they kept 2. I wasn't one of them, no, they took 3 in the end, I wasn't one of them, there was a problem with both of them, they replaced each other on thousands of candidates, they replaced each other, so I was 4th or 5th, and the guy who was with me, who was 4th while I was 5th, he was also my friend at the time, so we both got recruited at the same time. What changed in your life to collaborate with Trash? How did you get the news? What did it do to you when you learned you were chosen? I was so happy, already at the time, my high school friends were on the live, and they were sending me messages at the same time as I was passing by, I didn't want to see it, I went down with my parents. It was important for you? It was super important for me, it was one of the channels I watched the most at the time, and so I learned that, it was a friend of mine who was already working at Trash at the time, who sent me the link to Trash's Discord server, and I was like, welcome, you can start making your first video, you won't be able to do the voice, because you're too young, and your voice is too high, but you can write, you can edit, and maybe in 2-3 years, when you'll be more mature, you'll be able to do the voices on the videos. And that's exactly what happened. So it was basically editing? Writing and editing. How long did it take? It's still the case today, how does it work? So, it lasted a year and a half, then we created Trash Bandicoot, no, no, no, no, yes, yes, a year and a half, and then we created Trash Bandicoot in 2020, March 2020, during the lockdown. Ok, so that's another YouTube channel? Another YouTube channel, so now I was only taking care of Trash Bandicoot. On Trash Bandicoot, I was always doing the voice, the text, and the editing. I did that for the 6-7 first videos on the channel, I was editing everything, voicing everything, and writing everything. And it was pretty much unbearable with the classes and stuff. That's what I was going to ask you. Exactly, so we let me recruit people, well, at the time we already had people, but we recruited more people, more people to write, because that's where I only did that, and so I didn't write anymore, I mean, I still wrote, but much more rarely, more occasionally, on special videos, a bit difficult to write, I was mainly taking care of the voice and the editing, I didn't touch it at all, and that's still what's happening now. I write very occasionally nowadays. Ok, and so, you collaborated with Trash, it's still going on today? It's still going on, I'm still the one doing the voices on the videos. Ok, and a year ago, 7-8 months ago, you told me you opened your own channel. How did you come up with the idea to open your own channel, Exactly, so, so, for the story, I left my parents after high school, because I was going to college, and I live in a small village, in the Vosges, where it's quite common that after high school, you move away from your parents for college, because there aren't big cities nearby, so you take an apartment. I first live in Nancy, where I do a fake math L1, which I succeed in, and then, I was told, because YouTube, because all that, it's better to go to Paris, you know, for the network. So I continue my L2 in Paris, and it lasted 6 weeks, and after 6 weeks, I can't take it anymore, because I live in the 16th arrondissement, and you know, we say, yeah, but Loan, you live in the 16th arrondissement, it's the class and all, but no, it's the good rooms in the 16th arrondissement, so it's not the luxury apartments, it's like, above the luxury apartments, and so... And so you mix, you alternate classes, videos, and your life, your friends, and all the rest. My girlfriend at the time, and basically, there was a place where I worked on Trash, I don't know if I can say it, but basically, it's the company that collaborates with Trash, on which I went after classes to write videos, sometimes to do things, there was a sound studio, and I worked there, because I couldn't work at home, because it was too... Noisy? No? It was too confined, I couldn't mix the place where I lived and the place where I could work, because it was super small, so I worked there, but it was in the 12th arrondissement, so the opposite, and the same, I had my college in the 9-2 in Nanterre, so I don't know if you can see the map of Paris, but it's very far on one side, and very far on the other, and I'm in the center, but very far too, so I had several hours of transportation every day, unbearable, and I admit that the Youtube universe, because since I was at Trash, I was invited to Youtube parties, it could be by Youtubers, it was media, entertainment, and we were going to party, and it wasn't my thing, you know, I don't know if you've done a lot of parties in your life, but it was parties where it was to do like, alcohol, drugs, you see all kinds of journalists who take anything, Youtubers who take anything, Youtubers who take heroin, crazy stuff, and me, I'm there in the party, going around talking to people, saying hi, talking to other people, you get drunk, you sit on a couch, you snap, and it's not my thing, I don't even think it's people's thing, I think we all pretend, but anyway, it wasn't my thing, because I didn't want to take drugs, at one point I wanted to take mushrooms, luckily I didn't, and it's this really chaotic lifestyle, degenerated, completely crazy, so if you stay in Paris, you either become degenerated, I feel like you either become a zombie, you know, in the subway, and I didn't want to become a zombie or a degenerate, so I said to myself, fuck it, I'm going back to my parents' house in Les Vosges, so I come back two weeks in Les Vosges, so I leave everyone, my friends, my girlfriend, everyone, I'm really alone in Les Vosges, and so I meet one of my old schoolmates, while I was walking around, because I know you have to walk around when you're not feeling well, so while I was walking around, I meet one of my old schoolmates, we live on the same mountain, and I know him, his name is Elian, and he's the guy, so we were great friends in high school, and we talk, I tell him about my life, I tell him about YouTube and everything. It's been years since you last saw each other. Yeah, it's been a year since we last saw each other. I saw him again at parties in high school, a long time ago, but it's been a long time since we were close. So I meet this guy, and we laugh, we go eat kebab not far from where I live, and we talk, and he tells me about the YouTuber Hamza, so, I was going to say the American, but he's not American, he's English. From these videos, he tells me to watch the video What to do when you get zero head. I don't know how to translate it, but what to do when you've lost everything. So the guy tells you you've lost your girlfriend, you've lost your friends, you've lost your job, you live with a friend or your parents. I watch the video and I'm like, that's me, this guy. I start watching his videos, and from October to December, I eat all his videos, I become a hardcore fan of this guy. But really hardcore, because I start with his good habits, getting up at the right time, going out in the morning, cardio, running. I don't like to run, but I run every day, because it's really good, like Gokinz. I don't know what I wanted to say. So in December, I talked to him again, and I said I wanted to start my channel again. And at that time, I started making videos on my channel, in addition to what I was doing, videos where I was telling my life. The very first video I made is called Survive in Paris, where I tell what I'm telling you on this channel, which is no longer available. And so, I tell all that, but it doesn't work. It's videos where I tell my life, but it doesn't interest that many people. And I decided to take back the format of Hamza, that is to say... In fact, there is a Hamza video that I saw before that time, which is called I create a sect, here is my honest plan. And in this video, he says make videos like me, but in your own words, and like that, we put the whole earth aware of this thing, of F-Perso, and everyone is happy. And the video where I watch it, I say frankly, I'm going to do exactly that. At first, I was a little discouraged, because there were a lot of English people who made videos like Hamza, with intros like Wojack, La Merguez, Le Hunter, Jeffrey Adonis, all that. And I see that, and I say to myself, why would I go further than these guys who do everything Hamza said. And I say to myself, it's a bit of a bastard Hamza, he says, do like me, so it makes me advertising, but you individually, collectively, you are diluted. And I say to myself, it's okay, I'm going to do it anyway, and I'm going to try to make better videos, with a better rhythm, better editing, everything I can bring, that Hamza has in editing, I'm going to bring it, and maybe it will take. And it took a long time to take, it took 2-3 months before I had 10,000 subscribers. But once I passed the 10,000 subscribers, it ... In fact, at that time, it's been almost 10 years that you're on YouTube, level editing, level script, etc. These are things you master. You know exactly where to go. So that's what certainly gave you the advantage compared to everyone else. Of course, it's the experience. So how does the process go when you launch this channel? What state of mind are you in? What apprehensions, what expectations do you have compared to this channel? You're not that old. No, I'm not old at all, I'm 19 years old. So how does it go at first? At first I'm pretty bad, because I left everyone. I'm still a little depressed about all the people I had, my ex, my old friends and everything. And so I'm a little sad and I tell myself, you know what, I'm going to ... The objective is a little unhealthy. I'm going to make a channel and I'm going to become super famous and they'll have too much money, because there were rumors where they talked a little in my back, that kind of thing. And this thing is completely gone. It was the rage of the beginning, let's say. And I started making these videos. So that's the state of mind at first. So what I did is that at first I called Trash friends editors, or people who edited a little for Trash, but a little for other people. I told them, yeah, you can edit this video and everything. And then they did it to me. In the end, the problem was that they were guys who were too ... They couldn't be there all the time. So I had to create a real recruitment process. So I created my Discord server where people could go. And you know, the editors have an editor role in it. And I just shared a form on Google Forms where I said that I was recruiting people to edit the videos. And it's like ... And by looking at Google Forms, by looking at what people have done, by looking at their experience, their rates and everything, I created a team. Because that's the key if you want to make lots of videos. If you write them, you have to make them written by people. If you don't write them, well, good. You just have to film yourself and tell your life like I did. And editing, you can't make three videos a week with one editor. You need rotation of editors. So I would say that if you make three videos a week, you need at least five who show each one a video a week. And you can say, no, you need three. But no, because sometimes there are some who are not there. Sometimes there are some who have problems. So you need five if you make three videos a week and a video takes a week to do. How did you set up this process? Did you start recruiting from the start? Yes, from the start. And now you have a team of how many people? Five. Six editors, a shorter, a graphic designer for the thumbnails. I don't know if you watch the thumbnails, they are drawings of Wojak directly. It's not me who steals them abroad anymore. It's over now. I pay a graphic designer who does the designs directly as I want. So there's me, the graphic designer, the shorter, the shorter is the guy who makes the subtitles, he also posts the videos himself, and the six main editors. We were five at the beginning, but there is one who decides to work less on the channel to do other things. So I take someone else to be the fifth main editor and he becomes a secondary editor when he has time. So I have six editors, five who are there often, one who is not there often, a shorter and a graphic designer. What is your role? Do you have a script? How does it work? How much time do you have? The amount of time is to shoot three videos per week. If possible more. If I do four a week, the next week I do three, the next week I do four. In the end, in three weeks, I got two videos in advance. So the goal for me is to... Sometimes there is no script at all and sometimes I need a script because sometimes I'm lost. Sometimes the videos are 20 minutes long, sometimes I'll watch the videos abroad to see what Hamza said, what Firstman said, what Iman said. I'll watch all that, I'll make this video like that and sometimes not at all. Sometimes I have the theme and even the intro is not written and I invent it live. So it's going to depend a lot. I would say it's never a real script. It's always two pages on a Google Doc or words that follow each other. Keywords, big lines. Exactly, so I know what to say. But it's never... Sometimes if I have shocking sentences that I like and I must not forget, sometimes I write the whole sentence, but it's rare. What does your daily life look like since you launched your YouTube channel? Does your YouTube channel take up a huge part of your weeks? How does it work? Tell us. So the daily life... I met Elian. In the meantime, I managed to go back to my old university in Nancy to do my L2. So this year I went back to university. I was in Paris. I spent 2-3 weeks with my parents where I was a little depressed. My parents told me, it's good to be depressed, but it's good to be depressed with a diploma. So I go to university, I take my L2 from Matinflo at Nancy with 2-3 months delay. The first week was a lot... Very little my YouTube channel and a lot of catching up the 3 months delay I had on everyone. So I spend the semester and at the end of the first semester, towards the end of December, I really focus on the channel, on Merguez Hunter videos and all that. And this is the moment when I start to dry the lessons, to write the texts, to go only for the partials or for the mandatory thesis. It takes a lot of my time, but in general, my personal development takes a lot of time. Typically, if I have the choice to go to the gym or to go to a seminar, I go to the gym. If I have the choice to go running or to go to a seminar, I go running. And the studies take a very small part and I really only make videos, work on my projects, do sports, all that stuff. I was a fan of David Coggins at the time. I had set an alarm... It lasted a week. I had set an alarm next to my bed on my phone at 4am, knowing that I was going to bed. I was working super late, I was going to bed at 1am. So, 4am, the alarm goes off and I go back to sleep. I tell myself, I'm sick. Except that I'm not stupid. I set an alarm again at 4.01am and I tell myself, it's true, I wake up and I'm going to run to an old city called Haut-du-Lièvre. I run to Haut-du-Lièvre, I go down because I tell myself, yeah, but who would do that? Like David Coggins. So yeah, it takes me a lot of time and the studies take a very small part of my life, the maths, the info, I don't do it at all. I spend the year of accuracy. So, without going back to catching up, I have my second year of accuracy. And we also had a deal with my parents not long ago. It was that if I had the 5,000 subscribers, so it's going to happen in two weeks, I was going to do my last year, so my third year, it's the year of the diploma, not do it, and focus on it for a year, do one year sabbatical to work on my channel and see how it goes. So, like... Oh yeah, I had to validate the second year too. And so, as the two conditions are validated, one is validated, one is validated in 10 days, it's good, I don't do the third year. How does it feel to get close to 100,000 subscribers? So, it's nothing at all because I prepare for it so mentally. I think you had that too. In fact, you see the thing coming so much, you see the curve for so long, you imagine the thing so much. How does it feel to realize that we're going to end up reaching 100,000 subscribers then? When you understand that it's not going to happen. It's not even good for me to ask myself because 100,000 subscribers, we have them on Traj Bandicoot, we have them on Club Penguin. And so, it's just a third time. It's a step. I like to tell other YouTubers that 100,000 subscribers, that's where the real game starts. And before, you're not really a YouTuber and at 100,000 subscribers, that's where the real game starts. So, for me, it's not... I'm at 95k right now, so it's not crazy to go from 95k to 100k, but it's sure that if at the very beginning of the channel you told me that I would have reached 100,000 subscribers in such a short time, I would have been super happy. Now, I'm so prepared that... You saw it coming, yes. When I get them, I think it's really going to do nothing to me. And about the type of comments, maybe it has more impact on you. What does it do to you to receive this type of comment, knowing that you're in pure personal development for almost a year? Yes. You must necessarily help a lot of people. What type of messages do you receive? What does it do to you when you read this kind of message? Does it still have an impact on you? What do you feel when you see, for example, very deep messages from subscribers who can thank you sincerely? Yes, there are still messages that make me really, really, really happy. You know, I really receive them every day, even DMs on Instagram, even emails and everything. The first ones, you're so happy, you have this fulfillment thing, you're so good, you say, wow, I love people and everything. After a while, it does a little more nothing, well, it's fun, but less fun. But there are still, even today, some very well-written messages where, you know, the guy, I can identify myself with him. It's a bit heavy. And there, it really makes me happy and I screen them and I put them on my phone and I keep them, because it makes me feel good sometimes to read them. I'm not a masochist like Goggins to the point of, you know... Doing hate mixtapes? Yeah, exactly, I don't do that, no. When the comments are nice, I screen them and keep them. Do you have a negative comment that really comes out of the water, that marked you or not? No, well, at first there were the plagiarisms to Hamza, but hey, in truth, all the guys who had started at the same time as me, because Hamza had started to take them too, so... I think it's hard for everyone. Are you in a process where you tell yourself the essential? No, I think I know what the comment that hurts me is. It's... There may be a comment that... It's not that it hurts me, but it... It really annoys me or it's going to hurt me. A comment or a type of comment? No, a specific comment that I've already had, but it can sometimes happen again in another way. It's once a guy told me... I don't know how he said it. He told me... You'd better talk about video games, you know? Because on TrashBandicoot, it's like... What are you doing? It's cringy. Get out of here. Go back to making video games. That hurts. You really took a 180° turn. You were having fun. Maybe you even discourage having fun in your videos. Yeah, yeah. It's also a criticism that I have. It's a double criticism, because I talk a lot about video games, about the concept of video games, to go in the direction of your personal dev, even the concept of manga, of motivation, manga, video games, and a lot of people will tell me Yeah, but Loan, you say that having fun is not good, that manga is not good, that video games are not good, but yet you talk all the time about video games, you even have a video game channel, you do live videos of video games with TrashBandicoot from time to time. What are you telling us? I want to say, but... I'm not saying that video games are not good. I'm saying that if you're in a phase of monk mode, crossing the desert, where you have to work a lot, yes, yes, no fun, so no video games. Now, of course, it's part of my life, and there are video games, manga, that motivated me a lot. I also have this comment, like, yes, but Loan, I like manga, video games. I like watching an episode of Dragon Ball, or playing such a game, it motivates me a lot, and it can help me in my personal development. Yes, it's good, but the thing is, if it motivates you to pump up, to watch Dragon Ball, but you watch Dragon Ball all day long, when do you pump up? It's a matter of balance, and the balance is rarely more than an hour a day. It's very little, you know. Of course. I mean, once you have the inspiration, once you're motivated, once you've played, I don't know what video game, you've watched Naruto, you're good, do you need to play every day and create this addiction? No, but, you know, it's a media, there are people who are cinema fans, it motivates them. You have something, Rocky, right there. When you watch Rocky, you're not pumping up, but it can motivate you to pump up. On the other hand, the guy who only watches Rocky all day, it's like if a guy only watches your videos all day, or only my videos, it's still entertainment, you know. You know, in MotivAction, there's motivation, but there's also action. If the guy only has motivation, it's useless. Exactly. I don't want to tell people who tell me about video games, yes, video games are good, yes, they're great, but do you want to make it your lifestyle and waste too much time on it, knowing that you could do other things? It's a thing. And it's not at all contradictory to do TrashBandicoot and to do Section Lab. Of course, because there's a whole process. What's your relationship with... We talked a lot about motivation, just now. What's your relationship with discipline? Do you have days when you don't want to do it? Does it happen to you regularly? It depends on what. To be honest, I don't really have to deal with it because I'm quite motivated to do my stuff on a daily basis. Maybe running. Running is really the thing I hate. I would say that I'm still in the motivation. I mean, if I don't want to run, I'm not going to tell myself, go run anyway because you don't have a choice. You don't want to run and like David Huggins, you imagine yourself under the rain and it's cool and you can motivate and inspire people. So it's always motivation. I don't have much discipline and even in boxing, because I do boxing, it's not me who forces me to hurt myself, to continue to do pumps, to do burpees, to hit the bag. I have a coach who is super angry and who does everything for me. I know that if I train alone, I will never reach the level of intensity that with my coach. My coach is a great boxer, the very first French to go to the UFC. It's a mental illness. Ok. You were talking earlier about a period when you were still in college where you were depressed, to use your words. How did this period go? How did it manifest itself in your daily life and how did you get out of it? Wait, I'm thinking. So, how did it manifest itself in my daily life? I was already alone all the time. My friend Elian, he was a guy who tried online businesses, he was in a real estate thing that he left. Now he's doing a training to be a coach, but he tries the side hustle. He wasn't in Nancy, he was far away, so I rarely saw him. Sometimes, on weekends, he came by, he made me drink coffee, he put me GoGuinz compilations, and we were dying to laugh in front of these things. It motivated us, we ran, we did things. Those were the cool moments, but there were a lot of moments when I was alone, and I fixed my ceiling and I was wondering how to get out of it. I'm not the kind of guy to be depressed and tell myself that's the way it is. Since I was a kid, I've been doing martial arts, I've been trying to work out, to do some personal defense, I've always had a good mentality. I wasn't feeling well, so I fixed my ceiling and I was wondering what to do to feel better. I knew that running, doing my gratification, suffering to feel better, those were the things that worked. Hamza, David Goguinz, they all said that. So I ran, I made videos, and it's true that when you run, you're less sick. You think less, you have other things to think about. I used to think about my old friends, about Paris, and I was a bit sad. But I used to go to Orlando, my boxing coach, and while I was running, we used to spar. You don't have time to think about that when you're sparring. Especially with Orlando, when you're at 90%, it's over, you're dead. You have to be 100% focused. You don't have time to think about the things that make you sad. I had to heal, that's why I started to work a lot. You didn't let yourself heal. I became a fucking robot employee, which I kept pretty well. The timetables, the employees, they're supposed to be a model and you're not supposed to follow them perfectly. During this time, I kept it pretty well. For 2-3 months, you could call it a complete lack of fashion. And it went well. And I'd say that since 2-3 months, I'm totally fine. I don't have any bad thoughts anymore. I'm too good, I'm too happy since 3-4 months. The work has paid off. Yes, since the 60,000 subscribers. How do you feel today? Super happy. It's so weird because when you're a bit depressed, to tell yourself... At the same time, I deserve it, I worked for it. But I have things that make me sad for no reason. I have good friends, people I hang out with, a great girlfriend, things like that. And I have no reason to be sad. Business is going well, I'm happy and it's cool. You went looking for it by yourself, you deserve it. If you have it today, it's not by chance. That's true, I'm happy. Congratulations for that. I'm going to continue with a question. You told me that today you feel very good, etc. We're going to go on the opposite side. Since your birth, what was the most difficult period of your life? Is it primary school, high school, high school? Is it this depression? It's very easy, it's the grief of my grandmother when I was in 2nd grade. I just joined Traj at that time. Basically, my grandmother lived at home. It's like having three parents. My grandmother lived at home and I slept with her. It's really... My grandmother fled Iran with my mother who went through a lot. Her husband was killed. A lot of horrible things. Her daughter was killed, my aunt. A lot of horrible things in Iran. In France, we all get along very well. She works hard. My mother also works hard. My mother was already 15 when she arrived in France. So it's my mother and my grandmother together who help us, who make a good future for us. We have a house, things like that. We go to school. So I love my grandmother a lot. I have a lot of respect for her. But even my mother. It's like we lived five at home. Me, my sister, my two parents and my mother who was like my second mother. You really have to imagine that it's like having three parents. And one of them dies. I was 15 or 14 years old. I was in my second year. I've known her for 14 years. I was so sad. I was depressed for a year and a half. How did you receive the news? Was it brutal? Was it predictable? From one day to the next? It was predictable. No, it was pretty much from one day to the next, but pretty predictable at the same time. She hadn't been well for a month. But it was just a month. Two months before, I couldn't have known. But a month before, she was starting to have health problems, things like that. Her sister in Iran had just died. And it hurt her. Because she's the only one who left Iran. No, she's not the only one. But she's the only one who arrived in France and her sister, my grandmother's sister, had just died. She was really depressed. She let herself die at that moment. And a month later, she wasn't there anymore. And I was really sad. Wow. So you've always lived together with your parents, your grandmother. It was alternating a bit, but she was no longer with me. Between my uncle and me. Okay. But my uncle really lived next door. We lived in the same village. Did it take you a long time to get over it? How did it go? Yeah, I took a year and a half to get over it. Sometimes I was in class, I would wake up, I would go to the bathroom. Because you can't get over it when it happens. And yeah, I took a really long time to get over it. I would say that a year and a half later, I didn't think about it too much. Even now, I still think about it. We've been together for 14 years. Of course, of course. Much less, I'm more depressed. But I had a very bad time. Even on the spot, I think I've never cried so much in my life in a week. The first week, I only did that. At the time of the announcement, I only did that. I was super depressed. You could feel it in my work on Trash. You could feel it on my channel. You could feel it everywhere. I was writing a script every three months. And even on my notes, especially. I know in class. And today, how is it? Is it better? It still affects you, of course, but it's more manageable. And when I think about my grandmother, it's the good memories that come back. I don't say to myself, oh no, she's dead. It's normal for grandparents to die quite early. You're about 20 years old, it's quite normal. So I tell myself, everyone lives without. I allow myself to ask you now that you are less affected, impacted by this news. What advice would you give to someone who is going through this? I wanted to make a video about it, but it's very good, I'm going to talk about it here. You allow yourself moments when you cry, moments when you don't cry. You have to allow yourself both moments. There are moments when you allow yourself to cry because it's unbearable. And there are moments when you forbid yourself. And that's what I didn't do at the time. I was crying all the time. At the beginning, I was sick all the time. And there are moments when I sit down in front of the computer, when I have to do a script, when I have to work, when I have to do sports. These are not moments when I have to think about my grandmother and cry. No, these are moments when I have to have a worried mind. And in truth, even if you're very sad, if you have enough of a worried mind, you think a lot less. And you're less likely to cry if you're boxing than if you're in your bed. So you allow yourself moments when you're in your bed or you have nothing productive to do and you cry because you can't hide the emotion. In any case, you can't hide it. The emotion will inevitably happen. If someone in your family just died and you're crying a lot right now, you'll be sad for a year, a year and a half, maybe two years, maybe more. You will inevitably be sad. You can't not be sad. Now, what do you do with sadness? That's what's important. From the emotion of sadness, you can cry, eat ice cream and watch sad movies. But you can also cry, do push-ups and make a YouTube channel. And it doesn't stop you from being sad. It doesn't stop you from crying. But there's a moment when you're sadder. Sadness has its effect. It's the same for push-ups, it's the same for everything. There's a moment when you're not sad anymore. And when you're sadder, it's better to look behind you and say I did all this than to look behind you and say When the sadness is over, the next one comes compared to the fact that you didn't do anything for a long time. That's it. What is the best advice you've ever received from anyone? Do you have something in mind? It's my uncle who told me that. It's literally this one. It's managing grief, it's managing sadness in general. When you're sad, it's energy. Some people say that, but I really believe it. When you have energy in you, you can use it in something productive. Or you can eat ice cream. You just got dumped. You have the choice between eating ice cream, watching sad movies, going to a club, flirting with girls, or being sad and doing push-ups. It's always better to do push-ups. And after a while, you find someone else, you forget, you're more in love, you realize that the girl wasn't that crazy, and you forget all these things. And you're happy to have done push-ups instead of eating ice cream. Perfect. The good advice is to use negative emotions to do something productive. After a while, negativity will go away. What's the worst advice you've ever received? Wait. The worst advice I've ever received? I don't know. It doesn't come to my mind right now. A teacher, a friend, a parent. I'd say it's the thing. Get a degree, do these things, don't worry about your videos. It's not the advice of a single person. Everyone says that. Even my parents. It's normal, my mother is Iranian. It's logical. But it's a bad advice because it's not for everyone. What kind of student were you at school? I was a very good student. Since you were a kid? Except during the mourning period. Otherwise, I always managed to get a job. I passed a class. It was always easy for me at school. Even at university. I've always had math and computer skills. I wasn't a bad student. So you finished your school year a few months ago, right? Yes, a few months ago. What kind of degree? No, I didn't do my 3rd year to get my degree. I just did my 2nd year. I was going for my 3rd year but I wanted to focus on my videos. It doesn't work that way. I'll do my 3rd year. I don't think so. Yes, I did my 3rd year. And I did it without going to school. Without going to school and without working. I did my first 2 years of math. Ok. How can I put this? What are your next big goals on the list? Yes. 1 million subscribers. That would be nice. And a big boxing belt. I was going to say world belt but it depends on the feds. So a big belt. A street cred belt. Those are the 2 things. Ok. What is your daily routine? How many workouts a week? What intensity? Right now, there are no workouts because the club is closed and we have problems with the owner. But normally, it's twice a week. And at home, do you run? Yes, I run everyday. And I work out. Do you have fights already? Or not yet? I have a fight in Holland. In Holland? In a city. When is it? I don't know yet. It changes all the time. It should have been a while ago. I don't know if you do some martial arts. It changes all the time. If it's the first fight, you have a 50% chance that it will be your first fight. It will be my first real fight. You had the announcement a long time ago. Yes, but it's been 2 times. Ok. Do you have apprehensions? I'm not afraid at all. Are you ready? I'm not afraid at all. Even if it's in Holland. 1 million subscribers on Youtube. A big belt. Anything else? No, that's all. I guess you focus all your energy in these 2 main goals. Yes, Youtube. I'm going to do one by one. This is Youtube. And when it's done, I might be disinterested. Maybe at 600k subscribers, or 300k, or even 115k. Maybe it won't interest me anymore. And I want to have another goal. I want to make a lot of money. If I want to become a pro, I have to make a lot of money. First, I have to make a lot of money. And then, I will focus on boxing. But for now, it's Youtube. Ok. Do you have a message that you would like to share to the community? A piece of advice? Something that comes to your mind? It's always the same. It's the best advice I've ever had. The golden advice of the video. No matter how negative you are, breakup, mourning, trauma. Trauma is different. It's too complicated. But there are books about it. No matter how negative you are, it ends up going away. Like, you're sad because your girlfriend left you. I guarantee you, I don't know how old you are, but I guarantee you that in 3 years, you won't think about it anymore. No matter how long you've been together. Even if your mom just died, it was hard. But I guarantee you that in 5 years, you won't think about it anymore. Maybe in 10 years. But after a while, it goes away. When you're sad, when you're angry, you have the choice to do two things with it. You have the choice to use it in something unproductive. Because the emotion, the energy, it has to be transformed. It can't be reduced. You have to use the energy. So you can use it by eating ice cream, by going fishing with girls, you can do all of that. But you can also use it by doing push-ups, by opening a YouTube channel like I did, by launching, I don't know, business, dropshipping, but once the emotion is gone, you can look behind you and say ok, I did all of that. It didn't work. That's what I'm telling myself now. I feel like I've done a sprint that's the length of a marathon. Because, while I was doing this YouTube channel, I did 3 videos a week, every week, and I never gave up. And I only did that. And now I'm turning around, I'm no longer sad for nothing. I did all of that. We're 100,000 in a few months. And it's better to tell yourself that than to say to yourself I'm happy, I'm not sad anymore. But there's nothing. And also, I'm really me. People who know me in real life know that the way I talk in my videos is how I am in real life. And when I turn on the camera, it's like I'm talking to my friend. That's a good example. That's exactly it. Yes, and that's also a piece of advice I'd give. If you want to get into the personal dev, it's different depending on the niches, because there are a lot of niches, different color codes. If you want to get into the personal dev, you know, it depends, because there are exceptions. You don't have to read a lot of text. You really have to feel like you're natural. But even then, I think of YouTubers where it's not the case, there are exceptions if it's well edited, but now, if you want to make videos like me, don't write text and talk about any subject. At the limit, you're going to browse a bit on the subject, you're going to watch articles, you're going to watch videos on the subject, in English, anywhere, but you don't write text from what you've seen. You just remember and you throw it away. It's really what you have to do. In relation to your experience, in relation to what comes out. Exactly, it's really what you have to do and above all, the best personal brand, because people are more attached to you. If it's obvious that you're natural, you can't fake the natural. On the long run, almost impossible. If you have to organize meetings, if you have to organize podcasts, there will be problems. If you make three videos a week and you want to hold that for a year, it's not possible. It starts there already, talking about discipline, etc. Obviously, there are times when you're tired. Personally, the most complicated part for me, because for a long time, for about two years, I did everything by myself, before surrounding myself with a single person, a single editor at the time. It's the micro recordings, where I'm really going to get into the speaker's skin, try to reproduce, how would I say, deliver his message the way he delivered it. It's really not just dubbing, it's really getting into the skin and transmitting the message, transmitting the energy. And frankly, 8 to 9 times out of 10, it's full discipline. Frankly, apart from the big videos, I know they really marked me, they destabilized me while I was spotting them. Apart from that, it's really full discipline. And for me, it suits me very well, because even if I don't necessarily enjoy doing this, as we said earlier, you turn around, what have I done in the last 3, 4, 5 years? Ok, I made 500 videos. We are soon at half a million subscribers. We generated that. I'm on my account, etc. In all humility, you see, the work has been done. And that's what allows me today to be straight in my pumps and to continue to move forward, to create projects, to create a podcast, to create a training camp. I showed you the video just before, it will be released very soon on the channel. What did you think of this project already? I sign. I sign for the next one. The video will be released or not at this time? I don't know at all, I think. People will have seen, but it's really stylish to see everyone there in underwear, in the cold thing. I can't wait to do it. Even the pumps, even the sparrings, I can't wait to do that. It will be with great pleasure to welcome you to the next edition. We'll talk about it again as soon as it's organized. Listen, Loan, I loved this conversation with you. A great pleasure to meet you, to get to know you, it's been a while since we've been face-to-face, we've been talking. Do you have a final word, a conclusion for this podcast? Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. The training camp, too stylish, and I encourage people to sign because I want to do it. And I know that when I do it, I will also share it with people on my Discord server so that people can come too. Listen, we will organize it as it should. Listen, I suggest you stay on it, it was a great pleasure, an honor to meet you, frankly, a very beautiful person, very good energy, it's a real pleasure. Why not a future episode in the future, in relation to our different journeys, the rest of your evolution, the day you will bring back this big boxing belt, why not? And then, until then, take care of yourself, continue your journey, you seem to me very clear in your thoughts, you know where you want to go, your goals are set, you came out of a difficult period, more than one, with your head held high, so frankly, man, bravo, I shake your hand. And then, see you very soon for a next episode.