How To Leave a Party Early - The Office US

Oh, it is warm. It's almost too warm. I'm feeling 82, 82 and a half. Oh, we're so close, 81. Well, we'll say it's 82, and it'll be our secret. Hey, late guy. Hey. Wow. Just stopping by. Got another party to go to. A wife and two kids at home party. Oh. DJ Pam Halpert is spinning some serious Radio Disney tonight. You're looking at the master of leaving parties early. The key is you have to make a strong impression, so you want to have a picture taken. You want to say some peculiar non sequitur that people remember. You want to note something unique, a talking point for later. I don't mean to brag, but New Year's Eve, I was home by nine. Robert. I just wanted to grab you for one sec. This place is amazing, by the way. You should see the whole thing. I bet I should. That's beautiful. I'm going to email that to you. I'm just about to give the tour. All right. Join us. I want to see what you were laughing about. I must. Here we have the parlor. I imagine people would set down their coats and symbolically their inhibitions. This was the gateway. You enter this room, a lawyer, a doctor, a teacher, a judge. But beyond it, you are simply a penis, a vagina, hunger, ache. Susan used it as a Pilates studio. Holy cow. The wine collection. How many bottles? 300? About 1,200. What the hell? Grab a bottle. Less inventory for the lawyers. Toby, Chateau Margaux 95. You know your wine. Well, and you have a... Yes, another Chateau. Robert, you are too kind. Oh. Too kind doesn't begin to cover its... With ammunition like this, we are in for quite an idea. And Gabey makes three. Robert, thank you. Thank you for this. Thank you for all this. This night's been magic. Jim, come see this next room. I think you especially would like it. Really? Why? I don't know. Maybe not. Just come. I pictured myself here every night eating a leg of mutton with juices dripping down my bare chest, wiping my fingers on the walls. Then I met the vegan. Good night. To the kitchen. Onward. And, of course, the pool. The ultimate lubricant for any wild evening. It was here that my parties would have crescendoed into true madness. To madness. Madness. To madness. To madness! Hey, um, I think you parked my car and is there any way you can move your van? Oh, I'm sorry. When I got here, I put my keys in a bowl. Are you serious? Robert, I want you to know I'm here to rock with you as late as you want. And that goes double for me. I'll stay even later than you'd like. Toby! I am fucked! God of wine! And I am fucked as this brand! Gentlemen, bear witness. While I've been mourning the nights it never were, one of them has been unfolding here before me. This is no get-together. This is a party. And there's my talking point.