The Importance of Hearing our Children: A film for the BME network

The more we listen to our children and really hear what they have to say, the more we trust their thoughts and value their opinions, the more they know that their voice is important in this world. Mummy bear, for sleeping in your bed, sitting in your chair, eating all your porridge, I bet that bear's listening too. Mmm, I bet he is. And every child, every child deserves to know that their voice is important. What I really hope for Tiana is that she will be resilient. So I know you can try and prepare your children for anything in life, but the only thing that's certain is change. So if she can adapt to those changes and not give up too much, that's one of the qualities I wish for her. And also to be kind to others and kind to herself and to stick by her beliefs and stand up for what she believes in. I think she'll feel more confident and have a higher self-esteem if she has quite a stable life, which is hard because so many things happen and you can't always control those things. Another way I can help her to get to where she needs to be in life is to model it, so be a good role model and have her surrounded by good role models like grandparents and family and friends. The children, first of all, they need to know that you're listening, if that makes sense, and not just with your ears. We actually listen with our bodies. Once upon a time... Amazing. It's playing. Adults need to learn how to play. We forget, as adults, how important play is and the ability to play. I imagine that these days it's difficult for parents to play or it's easier to give children something to play with. Yeah, it does actually look really scary. And engaging with them where they are, it's also good for us. It's good to play. It really is. Let me whisper something in your ear, Daddy. You make so many assumptions about what you think children are saying, but if you just stop and listen without your own agenda in some way, sort of free listening, you learn a lot more about the character of the person you've created rather than the character that you hope they are, or paying them lip service by listening. Actually stopping what you're doing, giving eye contact, actively listening to your little people is... You can't match it with anything else. Because their brains are like sponges, they pick up so much stuff. This is my bear cave. And I'm a brave, kind of not scary bear. And their views of the world are so pure. As an adult you don't hear them very often, pure thoughts. So to get to listen to your children will give you some purity where sometimes it's a bit murky in the world. Yeah, that's it.