🤙🏻 150명의 법칙? 온라인 시대의 관계 스트레스 이겨내는 법

In the first half of this year, I uploaded a cultural comparison video on why I prefer messenger apps and why I use them. A lot of people left interesting comments. I thought about it as I was reading it. It's been 20 years since we started communicating with people through social media and messenger apps in 2023. It reminds me of a TV show I watched 10 years ago. It was for the year 2010. It was a video reviewing the most groundbreaking changes in human history between the 2000s and 2010s. 2003, Skype launch. 2004, Facebook launch. 2006, Twitter launch. 2007, iPhone launch. I remember being surprised thinking that it's only been 4-5 years since we didn't have smartphones. But if you look at the video now, it's already 12 years ago. I'm 42 years old, but I think our generation is in the best position to compare the era before and after social media and messenger apps. I've lived without a smartphone and app for 20 years out of 40 years. And I've lived with a smartphone and app for 20 years. So today, I'm going to make a video comparing the pros and cons of the era of social media. Social media and messenger apps The best thing about the era of social media and messenger apps is that it's a society where people keep in touch. The phrase that young people keep in touch may be a very unfamiliar phrase, but if you look at old movies, most of them are about the pain of not being able to keep in touch. A warrior who went to war came back safe and sound, but there's no one at home. Even in a romantic movie, they gave each other a note saying where to meet. One came at 3 o'clock and waited, went home, and the other came at 5 o'clock and the other wasn't there. Then these days, people say, why didn't you send me a message? But in an era without social media or messenger apps, there was no way to find that person. When I first installed KakaoTalk, there were a lot of people's numbers saved on my phone. But that's just a number. But when I synchronized KakaoTalk, I automatically called that number and the picture of the person who has the number and the status of what that person is doing were displayed. He's married, he's got a job, he's graduated from college. Wow. It's like the TV is doing the show with hundreds of people at once. At first, everyone felt that way. In my opinion, the biggest function of social media and messenger apps is that they've increased the number of relationships that humans can build. There's a thing that human scientists call the Dunbar's number. It means that there are about 150 human relationships that a single human can maintain. Many people who are close to each other are made like that because of this limitation of human society. So why do we need a king and a royal family, but do we need to have several nobles and middle-class people in the middle? Because there are only 150 people that one person can care about, even when building a relationship, you need to have at least 150 people for the organization to work well. In fact, from the perspective of modern people, there are a lot of numbers like 150. Think about how much time and mental investment it takes to maintain the relationship of each person. Basically, you have to take care of the bodyguard. You have to ask how he's doing. You have to keep in mind what he's been up to lately. That's how I can say that I have a relationship with this person. There are two main ways that humans have been able to transcend numbers and numbers through apps and technology. One is that it was possible to communicate with everyone at work. For example, in the offline era, if you don't tell me where you moved to, you'll lose contact. That's why I have to call you one by one and let you know. But what KakaoTalk and SNS made possible is that there's something like a group KakaoTalk function, so we don't communicate with one person at a time, but we talk to many people at once. I think it's because it's possible to communicate with everyone at work. Second, in many media communication systems, asynchronous communication has become possible, so we were able to transcend numbers and numbers. There are five close colleagues. In the past, these colleagues used to meet once a month and have a drink. But they had a hard time making time. What happened in the past? It was a mess. But now, you can make a group chat with those five colleagues. If you make a group chat and communicate in your free time, the whole group chat will continue, so the colleagues won't be cut off. Using these two strengths, human relationships lasted much longer than in the past, and we were able to maintain relationships with many people. One of the bad things is over-relationship. How long do you live in a world where you don't lose contact? I said the Dunbar's number is 150. I checked how many friends I have on KakaoTalk, and there are 1,300 people. This is basically beyond the limits given by nature to humans. In addition, many people are subscribed to dozens of group chat rooms or open chat rooms. Open chatting is because I'm interested in wine and traveling. But if there are 5,000 unread messages, I'd rather not read any of them. This phenomenon is starting to occur. So, in a way, we've overcome the technical limitations, but I think the process of realizing that there are still limits as humans is the process of the past 20 years. That's why many office workers these days, especially on weekends, say that receiving KakaoTalk or text messages is the best stress they can imagine. I think there is a certain answer in the structure of non-simultaneous communication. I'm talking to someone. Then the feedback comes right away. You can say, Hey, don't talk nonsense. Then it's over. But what kind of message did you send? Then until the other person reads it, If it's short, 5 minutes. I wait about 2 nights and 3 days. Meanwhile, there is a downtime that does not exist in offline communication. It takes a long time to think about how the other person will think about the sentence I wrote. So, after I keep turning on KakaoTalk, I keep looking to see if the work is disappearing or not. There is a point that this kind of mental and time energy is wasted a lot. Another thing is that there is too little time to speak in dialect. I was tired of talking to a lot of people at work, communicating, PT, and having meetings. Then I used to take the subway and come home and hesitate. Now, as soon as I get on the subway, I talk to my group chat friends and family again. Then I took a shower and lay down again. When I lay down and looked back, I was communicating with my family and friends again. Of course, it's good to keep in touch with a lot of people. Humans need time to be alone. In the old days, I used to be alone when I closed the door after work. But now, when I close the door, As long as my cell phone is in my room, 1,300 friends are in my room. If you visualize it in your head, Through asynchronous communication like this, Because I maintain a relationship with too many people, The time to focus on one thing has become very short. Because someone keeps talking to me. A while ago, I read a book called Stolen Focus. It says that the average time for an ordinary American office worker to focus on one thing is only 3 minutes. But the real problem is, When we do something, we get a message or a text message. So I have to reply quickly and work again. Then, in my opinion, I think the difference in work is only 2 to 3 seconds. Once my concentration is disturbed, I regain the efficiency and flow as before. It takes more than 20 minutes. Schlepp-Eckhardt divided the office workers into two groups. One group tried to solve the IQ test without replying to text messages or e-mails. And one group tried to solve the IQ test by replying to text messages in the middle. As a result, the IQ of the group who received the text message was 10 points lower. That's what it says in the book. But we think IQ 10 is that great. When a person takes drugs, the IQ drops by about 5 points. At the moment when a CEO has to make a major decision about the company, He keeps looking at the text message. It's twice as effective as taking drugs. We think it's natural. In Kakao Talk, many people use Kakao Talk. They recognize that there are elements that stress them out. We're working on a project called Kakao Talk Easy, which combines what stresses them out and creates a function one by one. If you look at what stresses you out, I think you'll be able to see the characteristics of online communication in Korea. There are several boards. I brought some of them. It's a kind of financial fraud that's based on the invoicing. In fact, it's not just about invoicing. It's not easy to get an invoice that you don't want. In Korea, if you get an invoice, It leads to a financial expenditure called deposit. I haven't been in touch for 15 years. A colleague who wasn't very close in the past. Suddenly pretending to be very close. When you post a group message in a group chat room. Voice phishing. I think it's related to the right to know the danger in advance. So these days, I don't know the number. Especially foreign numbers. When I get a suspicious text message, There's a siren on the Kakao Talk chat room. And I want you to reduce the notification stress. I want you to communicate only when I want you to. In fact, the purpose of asynchronous communication itself is to communicate only when I want you to. But if I don't answer the Kakao Talk right away, I'm just doing my job. If a client sends me a Kakao Talk, If you don't answer right away, It's like you're not interested in him or showing your sincerity. I think it's stressful because it's perceived. Especially in the case of a group chat room, You can turn off the notification itself. And it's called a quiet chat room. I'm focusing on it. When tomorrow is over, I'll go and check it all at once. It's said to be adding a lot of these features. Because of this stress, A lot of people want to get out of the Kakao Talk room. What's the problem? If you leave Kakao Talk, Someone says, I left the room. I have to get out of the middle of the party. A winner is a person who quietly falls without anyone noticing. I'll go then. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. A culture like this has existed for a long time. To get out of here without paying attention, I've been wanting a lot of people to be here for a long time. The group chat room and the quiet way out. It finally came out. There's a story about a mistake in the Kakao Talk room. There's a bit more freedom in swearing between friends. Everyone has this habit, right? But if you put it somewhere as a habit, it was our department's group chat room with a boss. I think this is the mistake I'm talking about here. If you set up a room where you can't go to Kakao Talk, you don't go right away if you click once, but you have to click twice to go to Kakao Talk. In the old days, humans lived offline. That's why the physical terrain where humans live has had a great impact on that culture. Before urban culture developed, people living in mountains, valleys, and seas had a completely different culture. And after the city developed, people living in small and walking cities like New York or Paris and people living in big streets like Los Angeles or Seoul and people living in cities with a little bit of a neighborhood had a very different culture. So urban planning was important, and architecture was important. Architecture and urban planning were important enough to determine the quality of life of people living in cities like New York or Paris. But people now spend more time in online spaces than offline spaces. Then, depending on how this online space is designed and what functions it has, the quality of life and the appearance of our society can be very different. If you live in a city like this, where there are walkways and parks, you can improve your quality of life and become a good place to live. I think it is necessary to plant flowers, have a garden, and make a walkway. I recently had a video call with an English writer who wrote a book on the development of the Internet and the quality of life. He said it's been less than 10,000 days since humanity started communicating through the Internet or mobile phones. We are now learning what impact the Internet will have on humanity. So, like the Kakao Talk Easy project I talked about today, many people gave their opinions and shared their opinions on what the online space we want looks like. I think it's great that many people are making efforts to have fun communicating in the online space. That's it for today's Joseon Dynasty Exploration. I'll see you next time with a more interesting cultural history story. Goodbye.