Jada Pinkett Smith on Her Journey to Hollywood, Marriage to Will Smith and the Oscars 'Slap

I don't want to share all of this and not also share some breadcrumbs along the way of how I got through these challenges, even if it's not exactly how someone else will get through. Just having that little glint of light at the end of the tunnel, whatever somebody else's tunnel might be, you know, just, I felt like that was really important, specifically when I was talking about my depression, when I was talking about my suicidal thoughts, even in talking about the difficulties, you know, in my marriage, right? And because these are universal, and so I really wanted the opportunity to share with people just some of the remedies and elixirs that I found along the way. Jada Piquette-Smith is ready to talk. In her new memoir, Worthy, the 52-year-old movie star opens up about the highs and lows of her life, including her difficult upbringing in Baltimore. I had young parents, and I had parents that were addicted to drugs. And you know, there is something to be said when you aren't the priority of your parents. Then you really don't, you don't know how to be a priority to yourself. You don't know how to create healthy boundaries, to create healthy relationships. My parents are not responsible for, you know, our wholeness, but just in regards to having the understanding that, you know, to be able to see that reflection in your parents' eyes, to be, for them to be your mirror as a young child, that your parents don't have to be perfect, but to just always remind you that you are lovable and you're worthy. And it starts with being a priority, right? And so not having that foundation, you know, as I would come to find out as way into my adulthood, you know, had some really strong effects in regards to how I saw myself that I was not aware of. When I was coming up, the drug dealers were the ones that had affluence. Drug dealers were the ones that had money, right? So that's what we readily saw as success, you know? And so for me, considering my circumstances at the time, you know, I was, my mother was not doing well. She was a high-functioning heroin addict, but nonetheless, we didn't have the things that we should have, like the home we lived in was not taken care of. Even though I always had a regular job, I just wanted more financial freedom, you know, also out of the fear of like, what if something does happen to my mother? What if my mother does die? What if she doesn't come home one night? You know, either overdosed, arrested, whatever. And so I decided to sell drugs. I decided to sell crack cocaine and, you know, just along the way, just kind of leveled up. And that was my solution at that particular time to survive. And it really, it helped me survive, you know, but it put me into a lot of danger and I hurt a lot of people along the way. When I first came out to LA, it was robust with opportunity. It was like blackness on screen was gold, you know what I mean? It was like we were the black talent was kind of like the new thing. It was like we had, it was so, so many of us with so much talent that Hollywood was now ready to give opportunity to. You have Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, you had Martin, you had Keenan Ivory Wings with In Living Color. It was like Hollywood was ready to give us opportunity to express our creativity and we took it by the horns. With her career on the rise, Jada's personal life also started making headlines after she got swept off her feet by a hot young actor named Will Smith in 1994. I'd run into Will a million times and he really tried it for years. And I didn't even recognize that, right? And we had gone out with friends of ours maybe a year before and he was divorcing and he calls me and he says, hey, I'm in Baltimore now, I'm leaving LA. I've bought a house, a farmhouse in Baltimore, I'm renovating it, I'm leaving. I'm in Baltimore overseeing, you know, the renovations and he says, are you seeing anybody now? And I'm like, no. He's like, good, you're seeing me. I was like, oh, I had to clutch my pearls. I was like, you know, that kind of assertiveness can be a little sexy, you know? And so I was like, oh, wow. And he's like, hit me when you get to LA, click. I was like, whoa, okay. And so when I got to LA, I called him and we went out and I haven't been able to get rid of him since. When we were younger, one thing that I knew was that it was very important for us to have a friendship that had real deal, thorough communication. To say at 25 and 28 years old in Tinseltown that till death do us part and you think that there is not going to be, you know, straying eyes, to me that just wasn't, that didn't seem realistic at all. And this is where it gets complex. As time went on, there were different stages in my marriage where Will and I decided we were not together. Where we didn't, you know, we didn't tell the public, right? Where I was actually thinking about divorcing, separating. I mean, there have been several of those, right? And so, and where we've gone and lived our separate lives. So I think within that is where people might have thought that, oh, they must be having an open relationship. And we just didn't want people to know the dynamic of what was happening between us. We didn't think that that was anybody else's business. And so I think that that's where sometimes that confusion came in. Transparency is just about having communication, right? And so it's like, let's talk about it. Let's work through it together. Let's be in partnership. Let's not keep each other in the dark. And I think that all relationships, if you're talking about being, and this is just for me personally, if you're talking about being with somebody forever, it's like for me having the emotional maturity to understand what it is to be human and what it is to make a commitment like that, that takes work. And so at the end of the day, I wanted us to keep our friendship in and just be able to have just open dialogue, you know, and we, trust me, and I, that is not for the faint at heart. I'm going to tell you straight up. It's not, it is not for the faint at heart, but I do believe that is why Will and I are still today married. No topic is off limits as she details going through serious struggles with her mental health. When I turned 40, I hit a huge wall, hit a huge wall. I mean, just a massive amount of depression while I was living a life. I was really living the dream, you know? And so people knew around me that I was very unhappy. They couldn't really figure out why. I was so miserable. I was in so much pain and I couldn't figure a way out besides. And so I started looking for places, cliffs where I could have an accident, you know, because I never wanted my, you know, I didn't want my kids to think that their mother had committed suicide. So I spent time doing that. And then once I had a plan, I felt more at ease to just go, okay, I got a plan now. I mean, as morbid as that might sound, once I had a plan, I felt like that was something to hang on to, right? And then from there, luckily, as I talked about it in the book, I was introduced to plant medicine that actually helped me get through those thoughts so that I would never have to have them again. And so when Jayden came to me that day and he's like, mom, you got it. Moises and Mateo, their dad, he had this experience. I need you to come in here and listen. I'm like, I'm there. What is it? And Jayden's the kind of person that he's not bringing me into something that he doesn't feel like is really something, you know what I mean? He's not like frivolous in that way with me. And so the plant medicine ayahuasca helped me see the unhealthy, self-harming thoughts about myself. And it opened up a whole new world for me, a whole new world of healing that I'm so grateful for. So Jayden talks about how I introduced him to psychedelics. He introduced me to psychedelics. Fact check. Yeah. Well, I talk about it in the book, the little gurus. I think what they've taught me collectively is that deep sense of self-acceptance. Like my kids, they love every part of me. You know, they love every part of the journey. They, I mean, they are just such beautiful beings in that way. You know, just the level of love, unconditional love that they have for me and their dad. And, you know, it's one thing to want to be the person that gives that unconditional love, right? And then there's to be the recipient of that unconditional love just creates a whole nother understanding and a whole nother learning that comes with that. And so I've really been able to feel what that feels like, to have that level of deep unconditional love from those three beauties. Jada is finally ready to discuss the shocking incident at the 2022 Oscars between Will and Chris Rock. The holy slap, the holy joke. But there's an even more complicated history behind it all. Something that you do say in the book that Chris did ask you out? Oh yeah, that was after the many different, like, I think every summer all the reports would come out that me and Will were getting a divorce. And Chris just, he thought that we were getting a divorce. So he called me and he was like, hey, you know, basically he was like, I'd love to take you out. And I was like, what do you mean? He was like, well, aren't you and Will getting a divorce? And I was like, no. I was like, Chris, those are just rumors. He's like, oh my. I mean, he was appalled, you know what I mean? And he profusely apologized, you know, and that was that. Then six years before the headline making moment, Rock hosted the Academy Awards and made several jokes about the couple who had boycotted the ceremony after no actors of color were nominated. You know, I think that there might be some misunderstanding between Chris and I as far as the 2016 Oscars. I think that he might have taken offense and which I meant no harm in offending. You know, that wasn't my intention. But I do think that there's a big misunderstanding there. And I talk about it in the book and saying that and not really recognizing the level of pressure he might have been under that I probably should have called him and gone, hey, are you OK? And just know that, you know, although I'm speaking out about the Oscars, I do wish you the best. And I just want you to know that, you know. Me taking the time to have called him and said that just to touch base, but his feelings might have been hurt. And Chris did call. He did call me afterwards. After the 2016, we had a communication and he apologized and I apologized to him as well. So I actually thought that we were good, you know, that the hatchet was buried between us and we hadn't talked since then until 2022 came. I thought it was a skit. Like from where I was sitting, you couldn't tell. I couldn't tell that it didn't look like Will hit Chris because, number one, I'd seen Will in the boxing ring with pro fighters and Will's a heavy hitter. So when Chris moved, it looked like he ducked or, you know, he missed the shot. And when he continued to stand and then when he continued to walk down to the end of the stage, I was like, there's no way, there's no way that Will hit him. Right. And it wasn't until Will started to walk back to the chair that I to his chair that I even realized that it wasn't a skit. Right. And so, yeah, I was I was in as much of a fog as anybody else in that room that night. I just remember when Chris came down to the end of this to the end of the stage and tried to apologize to me. He said, I didn't mean you any harm. Any desire to talk to Chris? I would say that, you know, here's my desire. I just hope that all the misunderstanding around this can be cleared up, you know, and that there can be peace.