Làm Gì Khi Con Ăn Vạ_ 4 Bước Hiệu Quả Mình Đã Áp Dụng 2 Năm Nay

What should we do when the baby is crying and begging us to do what we want? Is it effective to scold, beat, punish the baby, or even beat the baby to make the baby listen and stop doing it? Hello everyone, I'm Thuan. Welcome back to my channel. In today's video, we will talk about a topic that I think a lot of parents care about, as well as a headache, which is eating. I would like to use the word eating to describe actions such as crying, screaming, moaning, throwing objects on the floor, or beating the parents of children when there are unexpected things happening. I also have videos sharing about the second childhood and the third childhood. If you haven't seen it, you can watch these videos to understand the psychological development as well as the behavior of children during this period. The main cause of eating is that the baby's frontal lobe is still not fully developed. You can't expect a 2-3-year-old baby to understand what you want, or you have to know how to distinguish between right and wrong behaviors, you can't scream, you have to know how to balance and control your emotions. Then tell me that the baby is very stubborn, naughty, rude, and doesn't know how to listen. But did you know that what is really hidden behind the eating behavior of children is when they really need help. Because children are not capable of self-regulating the feelings they are experiencing, as well as not being able to solve the problems they are facing. Many mothers often say that when they see their children going to school or playing with other adults, they are very obedient. However, when they go home with their mother, they are stubborn and eat. This also makes many mothers quite confused. I don't know if it's because I'm a failed mother, I don't know how to raise a child. In fact, you should be happy if your child is usually obedient to you, because it is a sign of trust and confidence in you. Babies are usually obedient to people they really trust, not stubborn. And when you understand this, you will be more empathetic every time the baby eats. One of my favorite books about raising a child is The Method of Raising a Child. This is a book translated into Vietnamese by No Drama Discipline, by two very famous authors, Dr. Daniel Siegel and Dr. Tina Bryson. They are both deep researchers in the fields of neuroscience, psychology, children and adolescents. In this book, the author has described the brain of a child as a two-story house. The lower part of the brain is responsible for the most basic mental and spiritual activities, such as strong emotions, self-reflective reactions, and basic functions such as breathing, meditation, sleep, waking up, and digestion. The lower part of the brain is responsible for what makes a newborn know how to throw a toy or bite someone if the baby is not allowed to let go of something. The upper part of the brain is responsible for more sophisticated and complex thoughts, such as reasoning skills, emotional adjustment, behavior, ability to think, decision-making, empathy, etc. Children are not perfect and need a lot of time to develop until they reach the age of 25. So every time the baby is broken, you should see this as an opportunity for us to guide you to deal with the problem for the next time. It is also an opportunity for us to help you practice using your upper part of the brain. Now imagine your most difficult day recently. That day, you may be very sad, or you may be very angry, or you may be disappointed with something, and you call the person you trust to explain your feelings. What do you get from that person? Calm down! Or that person may say, Oh my God, it's nothing. Why did you do that? There are more people out there who are more difficult than that. Or that person may say, Calm down! Sit here and calm down. Until when? Calm down and come back and talk to me. How do you feel then? Do you feel worse? And then when you have a sad story, do you still find that person to share with? In fact, this is what we usually say to children when they are young. When the child is not calm and crying like that, no matter what you say or do, it's useless. Now imagine that your two hands are your brain and the child's brain are in normal state. Then when the child is losing his mind and crying and screaming, your brain will be like this. If you lose your mind and start to get angry, you will try to find a way to scream louder than the child to force the child to listen to you. Accidentally, you are stimulating the lower part of the brain. And the lower part of the brain will react by screaming and crying even louder. As a result, the child will not be able to learn any lessons for the next time. And you will feel more stressed and powerless with the child. But in fact, we still have another way to react. That is, when your brain is not calm, we still try to keep calm to find a way to calm you down, calm you down, communicate with you, connect with you, to slowly calm your lower brain and stimulate your upper brain. At this time, when the child has returned to a calm, harmonious state, then it is time for your brain to accept your instructions, your plans, your explanations. So, what exactly did I do when I was pregnant? First, I will ask the question in my head to find the reason why I was pregnant. In fact, a child with a lot of reasons is sometimes very irrational, not logical at all. But that's what a child is. And the purpose of asking this question is to remind myself slowly to observe the whole situation before I react to the fact that the child is crying like that. The second step is to keep calm. I will put the child in a calm corner that the two of you have decided on in advance. It could be in the bedroom, outside the balcony, or in your room. And I feel this way helps you get out of the area that makes you uncomfortable. Then the child is easier to adjust to your feelings. Moreover, if you live with your grandparents or many relatives, then putting the child in a quiet place also avoids others from interfering when you are helping the child to adjust to your feelings. The third step is to listen, empathize, and connect with the child. I will let the child cry a little. Then I ask, do you want me to hug you? Sometimes Binoc wants me to hug him right away, but sometimes I shake my head and continue to cry. Then I will say, I will sit and wait for you to hug me when you finish crying. You can also put your hand on your shoulder, hold your hand, rub your back, and hug your child. A gentle touch like this, according to scientific explanation, will produce pleasant hormones such as oxytocin and opioids into the brain and body, and reduce the level of stress hormone, which is cortisol hormone. This is a way to help us connect with the child. This method is very effective. You will see the child slowly relax, no matter how loud it is. If you are losing your mind, you just need to hug your child, rub your back, and say nothing more. Then when the child has resisted and reconnected with the child, the fourth step is to guide or give solutions to the child in that situation. At this time, the child is ready to listen and easily cooperate with you. Of course, the guidance or solution you give must be in line with your ability, age, and personality. One thing to note here is that the solutions you give to the child will still be within the limit. You will not agree with your child because the child is crying. You can explain to the child why you can't do that, and guide the child to another solution. In the case that the child is crying, eating in a public place, you can take the child to a more deserted place, wait for the child to express his feelings, connect with the child, and then come up with a suitable solution in that situation. Of course, life is not always easy, not always everything is smooth. But when we understand the ways of the young brain like that, we will feel and find a way to respond appropriately in each situation when we are in danger. Currently, my Peanuts is 4.5 years old, and I have practiced and implemented these steps for 2 years. Until I got used to it and felt it was effective for Peanuts, I made this video to share with everyone. I know that keeping calm when the child is angry or when the child challenges us is not easy at all. I have to practice a lot, practice to balance my emotions, practice to limit, reduce the heat when I see the child angry, from then on, I can empathize with the child more, then we can help the child overcome those difficult feelings, and then we can teach the child, guide the child, the right actions to avoid the next time. After applying the method to connect with the child, I feel very effective. Now I have less anger than before, I understand more, as well as the anger when I cry, it happens quite quickly, just a few minutes and I don't cry anymore. Because I know that when I sit and cry with my mom, she will always be there to listen and give me the right solutions. And Peanuts really trusts me, as well as I started to learn how to change my emotions quite well recently. And one more thing that makes me very happy, when I see Henry crying, Henry's brother crying, I also come to pat Henry's back, then come back and ask Henry, Henry, I'm here, don't cry anymore, Henry, stop it. That is, I also understand how to comfort you when you cry. And this makes me feel very happy and very surprised about my son. I hope this video has shared more useful information for parents, as well as the perspective on my son's eating habits and how I use it when he eats. If you like topics like this, don't forget to like the video and leave a comment for me to write, so I can continue to make topics for you to watch. And I also ask everyone to share this video to the parents in need. Thank you everyone for spending time watching my video. Don't forget to like and subscribe to the channel. Remember to click on the bell next to it to receive notifications when I have a new video every Thursday. Follow me on Facebook and Instagram to follow my son's daily life. See you in the next video.