어린 시절 상처가 성인이 되어 인간관계에 미치는 영향

So-yeon relies on her husband too much. When her husband goes on a business trip and is alone, she becomes anxious and helpless as if she can't do anything. Her heart is at ease only when she follows her husband's decision. So I hope her husband will decide everything from small things to important things. Hyun-woo goes diving when he feels a little bad. It's easier to hang up without saying anything than to explain your feelings to the other person. Hyun-woo's friends, as well as his lover, have drifted away from Hyun-woo because he goes diving all the time. Hyun-woo's relationship with people is getting worse. According to a 42-year-old psychotherapist Liz Brubo, both of them are wearing masks. The wounds of childhood are somehow revealed, and in order to cover the wounds, they wear masks unconsciously and act according to the mask. If you don't know what mask you're wearing unconsciously and don't heal the wounds inside you properly, you'll make the same mistake several times and hurt again. If you repeat actions that you can't understand, you need to check if you're wearing a mask. Let's look at three characteristics of the five masks people wear. First, the mask of a person who is always anxious to be abandoned. There are people who are anxious to break up when they start dating or are extremely afraid of being alone. These people often have wounds of abandonment when they are young. When a younger brother is born, when his parents' attention is directed to his younger brother, the first one feels abandoned. Even if the parents disappear often without saying anything, the child feels abandoned. Even if the parents come back soon, the emotions imprinted once are not erased. Children wear masks of people they rely on unconsciously in order not to be abandoned again. They try to get their parents' attention in various ways. Children like this often say that they are sick since they were young. Because they want to be sure that they are important enough to be taken care of by their parents, even if they whine. When a child wearing a mask of a dependent person becomes an adult, he becomes anxious just by thinking that he will be alone, so he clings to and obsesses with others too much. In particular, when dependent women experience domestic violence, they often cannot escape the situation. Enduring a miserable marriage is less painful than breaking up with her husband. Second, the mask of a person who dives into a small thing, a person who escapes. After fighting with a lover, there are people who can't contact for a few days, or in severe cases, dive into a breakup. When they feel rejected, they run away. These people are often rejected by their parents' tone or attitude when they are young. For example, if a child asks for a favor, and the mother answers with a nervous attitude, the child feels rejected. Every time that happens, the child wears a mask of a person who escapes and finds a place to be alone and gets stuck there. When a child wearing a mask of a person who escapes becomes an adult, he runs away or hides whenever something painful happens. He believes that if he runs away, he will not be rejected. However, as time goes by, the sense of presence becomes blurred and the human relationship is cut off. As a result, he feels more lonely and rejected again. Third, a person who can never stand injustice. Mask of a stubborn person. When treated unfairly, there are people who can't stand it and explode to the point of anger. They often suffered from injustice when they were young. If you help your parents to take care of your brothers for the reason of passion, or if you always inherit your brother's clothes for the reason of being the youngest, I think the child is treated unfairly because he is not good enough. A child who is hurt by injustice tries to wear a mask of a stubborn person, control himself, and become more perfect. That's why I don't think I'm being treated unfairly. Among stubborn people, there are many perfectionists, but because of the obsession to do everything perfectly, they don't realize that they are treating themselves unfairly. The deeper the wound, the thicker the mask, and you lose yourself. What is the way to take off the mask you wore to protect yourself and find yourself again? The first step of healing is to realize the wound inside you. You have to realize what mask you wore to hide the wound you are holding. In the second step, you have to get rid of hatred for your parents. If you realize the wound inside you, you will resent your parents for providing the cause. But as long as you don't forgive your parents, the wound won't be healed. If I have a wound in my heart, there is a high chance that my parents have the same wound. In order for the wound not to continue again, you have to break the cycle of forgiveness. Finally, you have to accept the child inside you and realize that you don't need to wear a mask anymore. Loving yourself is accepting yourself as you are. We are no longer children who cry because they don't know what to do with their wounds. We are adults who can deal with wounds. Let's take off the mask, acknowledge the wound inside you, and accept it. When you accept yourself as you are, healing begins. How to overcome trauma engraved in the soul and heal the wound. All wounds leave a trace. If this content was helpful, please subscribe and like it.