California Wants to Parent Your Child | Sonja Shaw

Sonia, you have been in the news. You're being sued by the state. All these school boards, with your California School Board Association and the unions, have developed these policies to start keeping secrets and breaking up the family. And you have come a long way. You became the president of the school board. It was the day after passing the policy, and it was our superintendent who said, Sonia, somebody just called the district and said they're going to kill you. I was afraid. I was scared. I have a family, you know? Like, I have kids. This is a challenging role you took on. I know that the schools do provide things that sometimes parents can't provide, right? My mom had two babies back-to-back, and she was on drugs. And school was a place where if I was lucky enough for that day, I got to go learn. I was able to get a meal. California schools have a policy to not disclose to parents when kids want to change their gender and want to keep this a secret from their parents. My guest today is Sonia Shah. She's the school board president at Chino Unified. Today, she's going to discuss how she came up with a policy that impacts all the kids in California. I came in to bring transparency back, to bring the trust. I would be grateful if I was sitting in front of Newsom or Bonter or Thurman right now. Hey, let's talk. Let's figure this out. Let's put politics aside because this is not a political issue. Look at me as a soccer mom. I'll look at you as a father. Can you imagine what that would show the nation? If you like our content, we just got demonetized by YouTube. So we're starting a new channel and we recommend you to go there. You can click on the link below. The link for the new channel is below. Go there and follow us so that you can see our new videos there. I'm Siamak Khorrami. Welcome to California Insider. Sonia, it's great to have you on. Welcome. Thank you. It's great to be here. We want to talk to you about a phenomena that's happening in California. We actually made a documentary about kids changing their gender in schools in California. But there's policies that if the kids don't want their parents to know, the school would hide the information from parents. And you just got elected six months ago, about seven, eight months ago, to be on the school board. And you're trying to bring transparency between school and parents. Absolutely. So can you explain to us what this policy is? A lot of parents still don't know about this policy. So the current policies that most school districts adopted that was recommended say, do not tell the parents. And I think, you know, they're using also guidelines and privacy laws that were put in place against the parents, but they were actually put in place. This is where it gets confusing. These privacy laws and guidelines were put in place to keep privacy of the student from third parties and the government, never the parents. But now you have third party and government using those privacy laws and guidelines against the parents. And I'm like, I don't even know why they would want to do that. Like we develop these things as a nation and as a state to keep privacy. From the government. And the government is now saying, no, we want to take that away from the parents. And I'm like, this is never why it was supposed to be. Please tell me why you want to change this now. And the idea is that they want to protect these kids because the kids sometimes, they don't want the parents to know because they're afraid. Is that how their thinking was, right? I don't, their actions are not showing that's why they're thinking. That's what they're saying, but their actions are not why they're thinking. Because again, I'll go back to, if you know and you're saying these homes are dangerous and hateful, why are we sending those kids back to their homes every single night? That's my question. What are you doing to make sure that these kids who are going into hateful and dangerous homes, what are you doing to keep them safe? Just secrets? So there are policies to protect these kids if something happens at their home. Absolutely. There's ways of protecting. Absolutely, because teachers and admin are mandated reporters. I'm a mandated reporter. If I know a kid's in danger, we have to report that right away. We have to report that to the authorities and then the authorities or us, we either call Child Protective Services right away and we initiate the process or the authorities, if we contact the authorities, it's either one, we'll contact Child Protective Services. And this is where I also will say to our state, start focusing on the Child Protective Services. Start focusing on the foster care unit because if you're gonna start determining that these parents are dangerous and hateful, you better have a really good place to put them, right? And we don't have that. We know that because you see these kids in these situations running away from foster care. Even, this is the most horrifying experiences that you're starting to come out and see. These kids are committing suicide in the foster care system too. Why? If that's the solution, let's start fixing those places, right? Let's start fixing these things and making sure if you're going to say and you're gonna determine that these homes are dangerous, I say fix the system so that way the kids have a safe place to go to. There's no solutions right now. And you started this policy to actually have the schools disclose that when kids wanna change their gender, and this school system have to be telling the parents that the kids are going through this process. And there's more and more school boards are doing this. Can you explain to us what is this? How it started? Yeah. Okay. So as a parent, when the shutdown happened and the kids were put on online school, and then when they were brought back, we would see a lot of things start to be exposed about the public system. And I didn't know what a school board was prior to that. I didn't know that we had elected members making decisions for our child's education. I had no clue. I didn't know what a GOP was or the Democratic Party other than what you're taught in school, right? Which is very basic. But then as us parents came together on social media, I started watching a trend. Like a lot of parents were concerned about the same issues. And as we came together, we started meeting in small little groups. And we started actively seeking solutions because that's usually what parents do. We have to seek solutions for our children. And in that process, one of the parents said, we should go to the school board. And I'm like, what is the school board? And they were like, oh, it's an elected body that makes decisions for our school district. They probably have a voice to ask or push back on Sacramento with these things that are coming down that we feel that we're hurting the children in regards to education. And so I was like, okay, let's go to the school board meeting, right? First, we try to contact staff. Staff said, oh, the school board's responsible at that point. We try to go through the proper process of what we were learning. Talk to the teachers and administrators. Teachers are first and then admin. And then after admin, the parents said that it was school board. Then you hear the admin saying, you have to talk to the school board. So we're like, okay, let's go. I remember my first school board meeting. All of these parents that came together on social media, some of us never met in person at that point. A few of us did. We all had our speeches written out. People said, you get a three minute thing. You could go talk to them or whatever. And I remember with this other mom who became really close to me through this last few years, we totally switched, what do you call it, speeches to say, hey, what do you think about this? Because we didn't even know, right? We're walking into something we've never been into. I read hers. I said, oh my God, that's beautiful because it was heartfelt. And she read mine and said that was beautiful. The crazy part is for one thing that was happening with our school board, she actually liked what was happening for her child, but she didn't like that other parents didn't have the decision because she realized for other children, it wasn't a beneficial thing. So she wanted it to be a choice. And that's where you have two different parents who wanted two different things, but yet we came together because we believed it should have been a choice for the child, right? And I thought that's where it was beautiful. That was the hope. And that mom through this process became, when we started developing our grassroots organization, became part of our leadership, including myself. So we started going to these school board meetings and then we immediately saw like these people, three of them, two of them seemed like they really cared about what parents were saying, but we quickly learned that you have to have a majority to get anything done. And you would see them eating. You would see them doing stuff, not looking at you. And you're like, you're up there on the podium crying, saying, please help us. Sometimes tears would come down and you would just not even give us any minute of the day. You had three minutes you had to pay attention to us and you couldn't even do that. So very quickly we started to push back and then we heard our school board say, oh, it's a law in Sacramento. Oh, it just was passed. Oh, this, that, the other. Oh, it's our department of health that's requiring this. And we're like, we just heard a bunch of excuses. We started following bills. I never imagined myself following bills. I'm a soccer mom. I'm a caretaker for my father. I'm a wife. I'm a trainer. At that moment, I was a trainer for other moms, doing physical fitness and trying to get moms to be healthy because I didn't grow up with a healthy mother. So these are things that are very passionate and very concerning to me that I always try to actively find solutions in my life instead of just playing victim and saying, oh my gosh, look at this. So you started following bills. I didn't even know how the process of a bill went through. I remember showing up as parents, our whole team got sick and besides me, and we got finally one elective official that said, we'll meet with you. And we were like, oh my gosh, this is like gold. This is Disneyland. We gotta go. And I remember the whole team getting sick. Oh, we need to reschedule. And I was like, oh no, we don't get these meetings. We can't reschedule. I'll go in. Don't worry about it. And so I showed up to this elective official's office, not even knowing what I was gonna ask or say. I just wanted to understand processes and see since our school board said, go talk to your elective officials, which by the way, they are elected. So we're like, you had a voice too, but okay, whatever. We'll go do the work. We didn't mind doing the work. Showing up at our elective official's office and this particular assemblyman completely opening his door and heart and resources to us parents gave us hope. It was like, wow, out of all these people who ignored us, said no, no, no, no, or just completely flat out ignored us, wouldn't meet with us, talk to us, even respond to anything. You had this one. And I was like, wait, hold on. There is good people in this system. Because we were starting to look at everybody as bad, right? Because they didn't even wanna have a conversation. And that's where it was the inflection point of knowing there is good people that have good intentions. And now let's start linking arms with them, learning the process to see where we can be effective and have a voice at the table. And that's kind of where things started to really change for us parents. And you have come a long way. You became the president of the school board and you have this policy now that schools can't keep secrets from you. That's all you guys want, right? That's all we wanted, not to change anybody's lifestyle, not to say that you can't do this or that. It was just, hey parents, do you know about this? This is something really important in your child's life that we seen the school districts adopt a totally completely opposite policy that says we're gonna keep the secrets. It didn't make sense to us. And all we're saying is we are reversing that here in our community because I've heard enough voices to say, no, you want to be involved in your children's life. And it's just saying, hey, we're gonna notify you. I never imagined it being to what it is now. I never imagined the nation reaching out to us. I never imagined people in all over the world and other countries calling me from different area, bizarre numbers that have- International numbers. Yeah, I'm like, what is this number? I didn't even know. I'm all, am I gonna be charged a lot of money to answer this phone call? It's so bizarre to get emails. People in other states, the amount of support in the eyes on us right now, it's really mind blowing because all we did is say, hey, we're not gonna keep secrets from the parents. But obviously it was bigger than we ever even imagined it was, otherwise the nation wouldn't be looking at us right now. The world wouldn't be looking at us right now. I'm thinking this is a common sense, simple policy, right? I never imagined the state coming after us, taking our children's educational funds, which we know we have to fight for as school districts. And as a school board member, we know how hard it is to get funds sometimes, but yet now they're using our resources, the limited ones that we have that we have to beg for them for. Now they're taking it away to sue us because we want to involve the parent. It's completely heartbreaking, but it's completely mind blowing. I still don't even know why we're here. It doesn't make sense to me. There is no common sense in what's going on. Are you concerned with stock market volatility? The markets closing in on their worst year since the financial crisis. Two of the major indices had their worst day since 2020. US financial markets had their worst day since the start of the pandemic. Do you really trust this economy? News are growing that the US economy could be headed for a recession. Inflation soaring to its highest level in nearly 40 years. Prices for gas and groceries are so high. Inflation sending already sky high prices soaring even higher across the board. 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He came over to the USA because of opportunity and freedom and safety. And you know, with that, he met my mother and my mom was from the USA. You had two cultures clashing for a second there. I won't say all people from the Middle East have the same beliefs as my dad, but my dad was very different from my mom in a sense of, you know, the woman was supposed to clean, cook, stay home, not go anywhere. My dad was very different in the way that my mom was raised. So with that, you saw a lot of clashing. I saw a lot of love though. And I saw a lot of passion from both of them, right? And as a young child, I felt very loved and very safe, even though my parents sometimes would get in arguments, but my mom wasn't even allowed to go outside and check the mail at one point. So with that, she took all of us kids in the middle of the night, and we were taken to where she felt was safe, and it was a shelter. We went to the county shelter. We stayed there. We outstayed our visit. She found another shelter. And then eventually she got onto some funding from the government and got us into a place where we quickly became evicted because she met some guy and they started doing drugs. They were not using the money to get into, you know, pay our rent and our basic needs. We went into this other small, I call it kind of like a side-by-side home in a lower income residential area. And through that, my mom hit a downward spiral. We were young. I was the oldest. My mom started doing drugs. She started doing heroin all while my dad, come to find out, was trying to find us, right? And actively seek where his family was. But in the same token, through those couple of years, we had to endure things that children should never have to endure. And I always go back to saying, these are the kids like ourselves that need help. It wasn't planning on crying, but there's kids that have to endure things that should never happen to a child. Sorry. My mom, we used to have needles on the table, mirrors with Coke and razor blades everywhere. Our food stamps given from the government was being sold by her and her boyfriend to buy drugs. As young children, we became survivors in a household that wasn't safe for us, but we kind of learned how to survive in really tough situations. Me and my sister were one year apart. We would hide the needles and dig them in the front yard. And then my mom would get beat for them because the guy couldn't find them so they can get their fix. We used to hide the food stamps that would be laying on the counter that they would go and try to sell to buy more drugs because we wanted to eat. We didn't have very much food in the house at some times. Luckily, we lived in a area where there was a lot of, what I call, now looking back, what do you call it, outreach work and missionary work, where you had setups of people who would come into these communities and give out food. Some of it would be army food. Me and my siblings would be sitting in the kitchen and we would be adding the water to these weird, you know, airtight packages to eat a meal. That was our reality. When I got to go to school, when I wasn't taking care of my siblings, my mom had two babies back to back and she was on drugs. And my two sisters were born prematurely. And because I was the oldest and my other sister was right behind us, we took care of our sisters. I took care of my brother too, who was my dad's child. There ended up being five of us. And school was a place where if I was lucky enough for that day, I got to go learn. I was excited because I got a break from taking care of kids at a young age. I was able to get a meal. I mean, I'm all for, you know, these meals for children because I know that the schools do provide things that sometimes parents can't provide, right? Or parents don't provide, they choose not to provide. But at the end of the day, school was exciting for us. Like, I found school as our safe place. I hate the word safe place, but it was our, me and my siblings' safe place to get away, right? But it was also a luxury when we got to go during that period of time in our life. Eventually, one of my sisters swallowed drugs and we all got taken away. I remember telling their dad as he was playing video games all cracked out, you know, my sister, I don't wanna say names because this is very intimate to some of my siblings, her eyes were rolling to the back of her head and he just waved it off, go tell your mom. So I went to go get my mom and she ran my sister down. We lived in a very bad area during that time and they had ambulance posted because there was a lot of gang violence and stuff in that neighborhood. She ran her down. Next thing you know, we're finding out my sister's getting airlifted to one of the local children's hospital. I'm getting woken up by police officers. I thought it was my mom's and the guy that she was with, you know, people that come in and out of our house all the time to buy drugs. And I'm like, get out of our house right now. I look up and I'm like, oh my God, there's a bunch of police officers. Me and my, you know, siblings were laying on the floor at that moment. We fell asleep because we were kids, you know, like and something crazy happened, but we ended up falling asleep and they're like, you have to come with us. And I'm like, what's happening? You know, you have to come with us. So we literally didn't grab anything, but just get ourselves up. And as we're walking out to, there was a social worker come to find out, you know, and the cops, we get put into a car. My mom is kicking and screaming in the back of a car, giving me my children, right? So even though my mom being what she was and putting us in some kind of danger, she still loved us. I saw that love. I saw that care for us in that moment. And we went to the police station. That was the last time I saw my half siblings up until about four or five years ago. I actively searched for them my whole life and we got put in foster care. What a horrifying experience. We were all put in separate foster cares in the beginning. I remember the first night I got into mine, this lady puts, I think it was pajamas. I don't remember. I was probably like eight or nine on the bed and a pair of undergarments. And she said, when you leave, you leave these here. And I'm like, okay. Like, I'm like, what am I in? Like a children's prison? Long story short, I was able to have phone calls to my brother. My sister was actually still on the streets with one of my mom's friends because they went to go try to find her. Eventually my sister got put with me. My brother would call me and say his foster care family was beating him. The kids, they were picking on him and bullying on him. Not the parents that I know of. Eventually I threatened to run away. And I remember leaving a note to my foster care parents saying, if you don't bring my brother here, mind you, I mean, I don't ever feel like I'm just my brother's sister, right? I had a mother, my brother from a young age. I'm running away. And I remember leaving for a few hours and then coming back and then being told, we're gonna bring your brother here. So we were all put in the same place. But here's where our state also failed us kids. We had a living parent. We had a parent who wasn't involved in this. He was never called. That whole time we were in foster care, they didn't even call the other parent. And I'm like, come to find out as an adult, looking back, that's broken because they didn't even try to offer another parent. What happened was, I think with the survival skills that we had to go through in our lives at a young age, I remember my dad's family's donut shop. I still remember the phone number to this day because I was a daddy's girl. When my dad was at work, I used to always call him prior to us leaving him. And I remember that number. And I remember seeing the mail from this foster care home on the counter. People usually have those things with the mail in it. And I remember calling this number when the foster care parents would go up and I would get scared and hear a noise and turn off the phone. Well, one day they went upstairs and it was a little bit of time. And I'm like, I'm gonna call my dad, right? I want my dad. Because this whole time, I still yearned for my dad's love and care. And we got taken away from him in the middle of the night. So we're still seeking, as kids, where's our dad? And we would hear my mom say, oh, we can't go back because I don't want this or I don't wanna be controlled anymore. So I never looked at my dad as being a bad person. So one time I finally got on the phone and my aunt answered it at the donut shop because it was a family business. And they were looking for us. And they said, Sonia, oh my gosh. And I said, write this address down. And she did. And come to find out from San Bernardino to Chino, it must've been just that drive time. And you had all of my aunts at that door, including my father and demanding that they give us, the foster care people give them us, right? And I remember there was a struggle. And I remember my aunt very clearly stating, the state broke the law. This is their father. Why hasn't anybody called their father to tell them that they were here? And I remember a couple phone calls were made. And during that process, it was a matter of, I don't, for me, it felt like minutes that we were in the back of the car going back home with our father. And I, that point, my dad, what was beautiful about his heart and knowing that parents have the best interest in their children, he told my mom, he was giving her unsupervised visits, which were against the court order, because let's be real. She had to go through a certain process to get us kids back. But I remember her being able to come into this home. Imagine a father taking on three kids, just being somebody from another country, not having a lot of resources to him. I saw how he did everything possible to get us to a point where he was providing for us. And I thought that was beautiful. But what I did see and I did hear is my dad telling my mom, I won't control you anymore. Please, let's be a family. I love you. I'm sorry I missed up. And my mom telling him, yes, let's be a family. Give me a few more months to be able to go through this process and get better. But in that process, she ended up, I think she was too far gone on drugs. She ended up on the back of a motorcycle, went over a bridge and died. And she was pregnant because both of them were under the influence of drugs. And I saw how it wrecked my dad. But through that process, I saw how my dad, given limited resources, not knowing how to raise kids, did everything possible. And I'm sure most people can say, oh, well, you know, that parent doesn't really know or that parent doesn't know or he doesn't have a lot of whatever. I knew my dad loved us, right? And he worked with us in a point where he knew best. I'm not saying he always made the best decisions. I still joke with him that we raised him. But even during that process, our school was asking him, can we counsel your kids? And coming from another country, a lot of families don't like counseling. They see that as a weakness, right? My father saw that as a weakness. He didn't ever want us to say, your mom did this. We can never say my mom did drugs, right, outwards. We can never say this or that, the other. He wanted to hide it. It was a bad thing. But with him working with the school, he finally allowed that trust because he was part of the process and said, yes, my kids can have the counseling. And I remember that to this day, thinking my dad was able to be part of that process back then. And he still was informed of what was being told to us, what was being said, and he was okay with that. And I appreciated that because we did need to talk to somebody who wasn't my father because my father didn't want to hear the bad things about my mom because he loved her. And I think that was very important for me to know, now as an adult looking back, my dad, although didn't want us to go through certain things the schools recommended, he still was able to, and he was still part of the process. And then the trust was built to let us have that, right? But then I look back, I know I went a little over with telling you the story and why I do what I do. I think of all the children that used to be us. My kids, I always say this, they're gonna be okay because they have parents who are involved, who care, who are able to be involved. But not all kids have that opportunity because it's not that the parents don't want to, they don't know how to, or they don't know the dangers of what's going on. And I feel like if we have people in place willing to do those things, I think that's a beautiful thing because you have that trust that your kids are gonna be okay because somebody else is looking out for them with the best interests of knowing we're gonna grab you first. You're the parent, we're gonna involve you, right? And that's where I come with so much passion. Let the parents have the opportunity. I understand that all kids are not always safe at home. I was that child, my siblings were that child, those children, but in the same token, who are we to determine that? Who helped us when we were little, right? I'm sure we probably told teachers back then, I don't know, I don't know what my siblings did or maybe we were scared too, but at the same token, if you look back, I feel like involving the parents that we did have was a good thing for us. I think that's a beautiful thing. And you saw how the school system could help families. Help us, exactly. They helped my father, they helped us because we weren't able to talk to my dad. But building that relationship of knowing he didn't want them to say X, Y, Z. They agreed to not say X, Y, Z and be there for us the way that he was okay with. I couldn't even tell you how much that those sessions that we had were life-changing for us. We got to process something that my dad wasn't able to really help us process. But through a resource that he was working hand-in-hand that helped us process that. You know what I'm saying? That was a beautiful thing. I still remember the counselor having us draw a picture or share a favorite memory of my mom. Also going through the darkness of what we had to deal with because, I mean, as much as my dad didn't want to hear it, he was also now at a point where he was comfortable with allowing us to tell somebody else. You know what I'm saying? But he was still part of that. And I think that's very important to bring the parent in the process if you're going to allow the trust for somebody else to care for the child in a way that you can't. I find that that moment was completely life-changing for me and my siblings. And I would want that for any child. I would want the resources that, and that's when I talk about districts having resources that sometimes parents don't have. There's one right there. And that was a huge one. Also the D.A.R.E. program back then. I went against my father's words. He said he didn't want us telling people about my mom doing drugs. And, you know, he was in his own denial. I felt the D.A.R.E. essay. I was able to tell my whole story because what the D.A.R.E. program officer said, your story, if you have any, you know, any involvement in your childhood or you were part of doing drugs, your story might help somebody else from not doing it. And I remember that. My story, what we went through can help somebody. Hey, if I can help one other person as being a child, I was only like, I think 10 or 11 at that time. If I can help one more kid or one more parent understand what happened to us, I don't want a parent to do that to another child and that can help, I'm gonna tell my story, right? And I did that. I did that in front of our school. I ended up winning the D.A.R.E. essay at that moment. I remember getting up in front of my peers, actually the whole school, so more than my peers, and all the teachers and parents and telling the story about what we had to endure that drugs, you know, ruined or did to our lives. And from our parents. And, you know, I always say if it helps the one person, your story is worth it. The vulnerability of telling your story is worth it. Because I remember being an adult. And I remember one parent coming up to me and in absolute tears, Sonia, I remember you as a child getting up and telling your story about your mom doing drugs. I was that mom doing drugs, hurting my children. And what she said was, your story helped me get to a place where I was able to heal and not hurt my children anymore. I mean, that to me was worth all the frustration. My dad was mad at me for telling the story because I was like, wow, if one child got to go through life, not hurt because of one person doing something and just maybe being a little open about what was going on, I think that's where beauty happens. And that's why I feel like it's so important to have these conversations with people that may have not had knowledge of what kids go through or what parents go through, right? If we all are willing to sit down, can you imagine that one can turn into multitudes of people? And I think that's a beautiful thing. I mean, that's where we have an opportunity to really make change. Why are so many people leaving California? It wasn't long ago, people from everywhere wanted to move to the Golden State to enjoy a better life. Sadly, the standard of living has been dropping in the past decade. Are you like me and wonder why this is happening? I'm Siamak Khorrami, host of California Insider. In our film, Leaving California, the Untold Story, I take you an intimate journey of love, loss, tragedy, and hope as residents face the prospect of leaving their beloved state. Everyday people like you tell their stories about why they have to move out of the state, even though they don't want to. Experts and policy makers also give insights into what's happening behind the scenes. Together, we get to the root cause of this exodus. Go to leavingcalifornia.com to view the first 15 minutes of the film for free. By watching Leaving California, you can be part of the solution. Again, go to leavingcalifornia.com. So the assumption has been that the parents are gonna get upset at the kids, they're not gonna treat them well, and that's why we should hide. That's the argument I hear when I've watched- From the state. And the sad part is, we don't even get a conversation like that. We always find out from the media their argument, right? Like even when we got served as a district, the media knew two days prior to us getting served. So I mean, I think that's really sad because you are upset with us and say you're outward in the public saying that the parents are dangerous and hateful, but yet you won't even have a conversation with us to figure out these problems that lie within the way that you want to do the things. Because if I look at it with some common sense, I'm like, guys, let's sit down and talk. Because these kids, you're claiming that they're walking into a hateful, dangerous home every night. What are you doing? Are you putting anything in place to make sure that these kids are put to safety? But yet we're not fixing anything. We're supposedly just sending these kids into dangerous homes. I feel like this policy is a solution. And if I'm wrong, I would love to sit down with somebody who is opposing it or suing us and saying, what can we do together? Till this day, I still offered it. I've sent emails to Bonta, to Newsom, to Thurman. Thurman has my personal cell. The door's open. Let's do it publicly. We all know they like to go on media and say bad things about us, but I'm like, let's go onto your preferred media. I don't mind. I'm just a mom. I'm a soccer mom. I just want solutions. I just want clarity. I just want transparency. Why are we afraid of that? And that's why parents are upset right now. I think our state has really made this and tried to divide us right now, but I think that's where they made the mistake. They tried to divide red and blue, Christian, non-Christian. They tried to pin parents against teachers when reality, teachers are coming on the side of parents and saying, please help fight this, push back. I don't want to do this in the classroom. Because this is a really big decision when kids go through something like that, the parents have to really, even after they get out of school, the parents have to be there to help them. Absolutely. Look what's happening. Some of our fellow board members had students that graduated and I'm talking to one of them on the phone and he's driving a round trip to go drop off furniture at his daughter's college. She's already gone. Who's there? The parent. You hear that over and over, like I talk to grandma and grandpas in our community. My daughter lost her job and we're moving them in the house. Who's there for their children after they've already went through our school system? The parents, the school system's no longer there. Why aren't we trying to foster the relationship? Why are we trying to break the relationship apart? We should be trying to actively look for solutions instead of division. I mean, I couldn't even tell you more in my heart that I would be grateful if I was sitting in front of Newsom or Bonter or Thurman right now having a civil conversation. Hey, if you truly cared about the kids, I think in my heart I truly care about the kids. Let's talk. Let's figure this out. Let's put politics aside because this is not a political issue. It should have never been a political issue. You're making it one, but let's put all of that away, all the labels. Look at me as a soccer mom. I'll look at you as a father. As you all said, you were fathers and let's figure out something. That would be, can you imagine what that would show the nation? I would love it because it would show the nation our leaders actually really care about the people that they're supposed to be serving, right? Till this day, I think that would be nation changing if you have people who don't believe in the same thing that come from different backgrounds in life, different ways of growing up, different ways of raising their family, coming together in front of the nation, the world. I mean, people in the world are watching now. They've reached out to me. Look, let's talk. Let's figure this out because that would be absolutely a gift, I think, to our nation and our world to say, hey, we don't agree, but we're gonna find a solution together. And I think that would, I mean, I'm still hoping that would happen. That's what America used to be, right? That's what they used to be. You know, you would have different ideas. But it could still be that way if we get the right people, exactly. And I think we need to remember our place. Parents have a constitutional right to upbring their children. We are not to determine their parents are bad, right? And at the same token, parents respected that the school is to educate their children. Now that you see that trust broken, I'm more like, let's get in there and fix it. What can we do, right? And now if you even have people from the unions and the parents, and you have everybody at a table, you have a voice from every single walk, I mean, that could be life-changing for our future, for our students' future, our kids' future, our children's future. I think that's where we have an opportunity to really make the difference. And I'm still hopeful, maybe not these leaders currently in the position, maybe the community continues to see that they have no desire to serve the population, and we get new leaders in willing to do that. I mean, as a parent advocate, I've had to listen, and the president of our local advocacy group, to all different sides, all different views. And I respect and love all different sides and all different views, because I respect that we've all come from different ways that brought us in there. And I really try to think in my heart, everybody does something from their heart, right? And if we do that, we all know that's where the beautiful, that's where USA was born on, is things like that. Hopefully, the same leaders right now will come, and they would sit down with you guys, and they will discuss this, because it's a really big issue, and it impacts the transgender, people that are changing their gender, it really impacts their future. Yeah, it does. If the parents are not involved, and there is no common understanding among the teachers, the union members, the state leaders, the parents. So if there is not a concrete way of dealing with this, it creates and becomes like a fight, right? Yeah, it does. And I think more than ever, they need to see us all coming together to support them and to figure out a solution for them. You know, at the end of the day, that child still has their parents, right? And you would hope they still have their parents. But if we're trying to take the parents away of the most vulnerable population, I think that's the biggest mistake we can do right now, because I've talked to people who have dealt with kids that have either transitioned or are going through the process. And that person who deals with these parents on a daily day has said to me that she's seen all these parents pull their kids in closer. I think that is really important because that's where it should be, right? And you have to remember too, school districts and the government, we have resources. So let's offer resources. Instead of being someone who shies away from having any kind of relationship with the parent, let's give them the resources that are available at our fingertips. I mean, this policy has been in place. We have not had any negativity from the parental notification that has gone out. As a matter of fact, we've been thanked in cases, and there's also been cases where we've been able to offer solutions, or not solutions, resources, and the parents have been very grateful for those. And I think that's a testimony to say, parents wanna be involved. Parents want an active part in their child's relationship. And let's be real, kids are not always going to be comfortable telling parents everything, which is okay. And if you go past, in the past, teachers have always, what? Parent-teacher conferences, telling the parent stuff the child may not want to know. Yeah, your child's acting out. Your child's doing this, or your child's doing that, or your child's doing great. Your child's struggling with something. Let's work together, right? That's what needs to be happening. I don't understand why we pick and choose where we notify parents. We had two recent, two or three recent bills that passed. I have to dig into them more, but one was about guns. Can you believe that? In California, we actually have to notify parents on how to have gun safety in their home. But yet, we have to notify parents about that, but we don't wanna notify parents about something intimate about their own child. Wait, you want us to, the school district, to make sure we're notifying parents to go through gun safety, which is fine, but then you're also not wanting to notify the parents that their child is trying to change their gender, which we know they need their mom and dad, or their guardian, or their grandma and grandpa, whoever takes care of them. I'm like, make this make sense. Your own bills and laws don't even make sense. They don't even come together to make this make sense. And I think it's causing more distrust. I mean, like I said, I'm gonna be hopeful that hopefully a conversation can be had, but in the same token, I'm gonna continue to do what I can to try to bridge that gap with parents. Sonia, you have been in the news. You have been sued by the state. You probably have gotten some threats as well. Are you not afraid? What's happening with the threats? You know, at first, when I first got my first death threat, it shook me. I was afraid. It brought me to my knees, literally. And, but through that process- What was the moment like? Did you get an email? Was it a call? So the very first one, because there's a, I hate saying this, but there's a multitude of them now. The very first one, it was the day after passing the policy. And the call came from our district, and it was our superintendent and said, Sonia, I don't really wanna have this conversation right now, but somebody just called the district and said, they're going to kill you. And more specifically, they're going to dismember your body parts. And even more specifically, your limbs. I was afraid. I was scared. I have a family. I have kids. What are they gonna do with my kids? Are they gonna do the same thing? You think, are they watching us? All these scary things. My address was posted by some dangerous organization saying, we know where you eat. We know where you sleep. No rest, no peace. Declaring war on me. Then other death threats came in, and they said, they're gonna kill my kids, my dogs. And point of reference, they told me what kind of dogs I have. Then you had other things come in with voicemails saying, I'm watching you, I'm gonna kill you. And you had, I mean, I don't want to get into too many specifics because other things are still under active investigation. But I'm not gonna lie, those things made me nauseous. It made me afraid for a moment. But here's where, when I dropped to my knees, I saw, I felt. It's no denial that I love Jesus. I mean, people ask me, they try to paint me as this big Christian nationalist right now. I felt Jesus' arms around me. I saw this beautiful, bright, I can't even describe it, light around me when I asked God, are we gonna be okay? And in that moment, I felt him, I saw him. I used to beg him when we were little, can I just see you, can I just see your face? And as kids, you're thinking of this guy with long hair, the vision that most probably kids are painting of Jesus. And when I saw and I felt this warmth of these big arms just wrapped around me, I knew we were gonna be okay. And I immediately got out of that fear. I stood up and I said, okay, I'm gonna keep going. As the continuous death threats and names have been called and the suing from the state, I'm just like, you got it, God, what do you want me to go to next, right? And that's kind of where I've been in this. I know people say you're bold or whatever. I don't look at myself as being bold. I just look at myself as being faithful to what the Lord's calling me, obedient, right? I feel like the purpose that I've been called to is so huge. I feel like it's a big responsibility, but it's also not my battle. I'm just part in doing what I'm asked to do. And that's just to be able to protect and do everything I can to protect the children, the most vulnerable in this situation right now. So yeah, I'm not, at this moment, they keep coming in. I get some nasty stuff, but I think what's more beautiful is the support and the encouragement as well. How are you portrayed in the media? Are you portrayed as somebody that doesn't like the transgender community? Yeah, which I find very interesting because I love all people. I have family members and friends who are, may be different than what I identify as or what I believe in faithfully, but we can sit there and be loving towards each other. That's what God's called us to do is be loving, but also stand in truth. And I feel like it's really sad when they tell children that Sonia Shaw hates you or she's trying to hurt you. When in reality, in my heart, I see people in powerful positions trying to hurt these children and I'm just trying to stand in the gap and say, no, you're not gonna hurt our most vulnerable children. You're not gonna cause more confusion amongst our children and I won't stand for it. So if it's painting me in a bad way to protect children, I guess I'm okay with it. I think it sucks. Nobody likes name calling. I've been called a white Christian nationalist. I've been called and associated with organizations that I don't even, I didn't even know what they were. I had to look them up when they say Sonia Shaw is this or she has connections to this. I'm like, what is that? You know, like, and I go on Google and search, what is this or what is that? I think it's, but it's also a testimony to say who's after our kids, because if these people are doing negative things, bullying and threatening my life, those are the very same people I'm trying to stand in the gap and protect our children from. And that's what I see. I do believe that I was brought through or allowed to go through certain things as a child, because here I am today, like I'm able to let a lot of things just roll, right? And keep moving forward and keep pushing forward. And I think it's important we have people like that in positions like school board, you know, protecting kids or in higher office, because those are the people that really are there for the right reasons. We're there for a good reason. We're there to change things that we don't like. And I mean, as much as bullying and being bullied sucks, I think at the same token, if I have to endure those things, I'm okay with it. Because at the end of the day, if I was able to save one child, then it's good. Call me whatever you want. And, you know, bring me whoever you want to bring to fight because I just cannot allow it. I cannot sleep at night if I know I didn't do all I can to protect our kids. Do you have any other thoughts for our audience? I would say, don't let government right now, as much as we've seen a division in the last four years, divide us as just people. Put labels aside. Let's really start having those deep conversations to understand. Don't look at this as a red, blue, green, purple, whatever you want to call it. Don't look at this as a religious thing. I'm very open when asked. I love Jesus, but I don't push that on anybody else. I'm not here trying to say religion needs to be in the school. I never said that. And I think if we can do that, our kids are gonna benefit. I think that's where we can, that will be the inflection point of us turning around education, being able to show our kids, we can come together. We can change things for your future, right? That would be the most important thing that we can do at this time, when they see such division, such hate between adults. Let's break down the barriers. Let's get back together and show our kids, this is how you do it. This is how you work through issues. This is how you have the face-to-face conversations that are tough, that sometimes hurt, that sometimes bring tears, sometimes bring anger. But when you do that, you're showing our children how to handle these tough situations in life. And I think that would probably be the most valuable lesson in a time when our kids in California are 40th in the nation, we have an opportunity to show them something that they can use for the rest of their life. And I just want California to know, I want our community to know, continue to link arms. Don't let this cause more divide. Focus on our children, focus on what's important for them and bring them to safety together. I think we can be absolute life-changing for them. Sonia Shah, President of School Board at Chino Unified. It was great to have you on California Insider. Thank you for having me. If you like the show and our content, you should go to InsiderCA.com and sign up to our newsletter because we never know what can happen with social media and other platforms in terms of distributing our content. If you'd like to come on the show and be an insider, you can reach out to us at cainsider at epochtimesca.com. Again, it's cainsider at epochtimesca.com. We would love to have you on the show to tell us what's going on in your field, especially in California. Thank you for watching.