5 Psychology Facts About Quiet People

Depending on who you ask, being quiet can be both a blessing and a curse. There's nothing wrong with being quiet, but there are often certain stereotypes or assumptions people make that might not be entirely true. Not all quiet people are introverts, but they share similar traits and behaviors. So whether you feel like you know frighteningly little about your quiet friend, or are a quiet person and wanna know more, here are five psychological facts about quiet people. If you need to be heard, talk to a quiet friend. When opening up to someone, you probably don't want that person to make it all about themselves, or interrupt and make assumptions. The ideal listener is someone who can calmly hear you, collect their thoughts, and only give advice when it's wanted or needed. There's a lot that goes into being a good listener, but quiet people have a headstart naturally preferring to be quiet longer. A 2020 study published in the International Journal of Listening found that empathetic listening improved interpersonal relationships greatly. The study teaches us that when someone uses empathetic listening, it boosts our satisfaction and relational quality. Basically putting the time into listening to someone properly will reduce the chance of conflicts coming up later. Anyone can empathetically listen, but some might find it more difficult. When trying to listen, we tend to wanna offer solutions and steer the conversation's direction. The problem is that the person who should be listening is trying to control the conversation. There should be two roles, a speaker and a listener. Quiet people are able to put aside their thoughts and often accept the role of the listener for as long as they have to. Quiet people as leaders. There are definitely introverted leaders out there. Film directors, CEOs, and retail managers can all be successful leaders while being introverts. These people are in important positions and by the nature of their roles as leaders have to cooperate with people all day, every day. So how do they manage to lead despite seemingly not having ideal extroverted traits for leadership? It comes down to how they interact with the people they lead. As author Carmen Nobel writes, both types of leaders, the extroverts and the introverts can be equally successful or ineffectual, but with different groups of employees. An extroverted leader will take the reins and feel comfortable with telling people exactly what is required of them in delegating. An introverted leader is far more effective when working with passionate team members who have their own ideas. An introverted leader is able to understand and fully utilize their strengths and their team strengths. This is why they're so effective in creative fields like film. They're able to get the best out of their team skills. Being quiet doesn't equal depressed. It's true that introverts and quiet or reclusive people are more likely to be depressed. The idea of extroverts being extremely happy and introverts being less happy is not entirely false, but might be a little exaggerated. In the handbook of solitude, there is a chapter on introversion, solitude, and subjective wellbeing that examines the differences between introverts and extroverts with regards to happiness. Extroverted people can try to cope with their depression in ways that suit them, such as going out often and constantly being busy with people. On the other hand, introverts might show more stereotypical signs of depression just by being themselves. Extroverts do tend to be more happy, but according to the handbook of solitude, that also depends on how you measure happiness. Being quiet doesn't make you more creative or intelligent, but neither does being loud. The relationship between personality traits, creativity, and intelligence is a subject that has been investigated quite thoroughly. If we imagine the kinds of people we think of as intelligent in movies or video games, you might think of someone who is quiet or reserved, someone who is always deep in thought and away from the crowd. While this sort of archetype definitely can exist in real life, it probably isn't the majority. It should be said that being quiet or being an introvert doesn't inherently make you more intelligent or more creative. In her 2007 dissertation, psychologist Talana Nadeh found that there is a relationship between someone's creative ability and their intelligence. The traits found in a person that is more creative and intelligent were the opposite of what you'd expect from the stereotypes in movies. They found that risk-taking, playfulness, sense of humor, openness to new experiences, freedom, flexibility, and originality were all common amongst the more creative and intelligent individuals. But these traits don't necessarily describe a loud person. They might be more outgoing and have all of these traits and still be quiet. Things such as confidence and positive self-image seem to correlate with greater creativity. Other studies suggest that there is absolutely no correlation between creativity and personality traits. So take it all with a grain of salt. They are more self-aware, for better or worse. To get a quiet person to talk can be a bit of a tall order. Sometimes quiet people stay quiet just because of their self-awareness. When we're in a casual social setting, our focus should be on projecting outwards and engaging with the people around us. Self-awareness is a good thing. It keeps you grounded, but it comes with downsides. Do you ever feel like you can't fully appreciate a situation because you're too self-critical or overanalyzing? At parties, everyone else seems to be lost in conversation, having fun, and generally letting loose. But when you have to talk, you're still considering every word you say, carefully contemplating everything around you, and just generally feeling like a fly on the wall. This can be fun to know that you're seeing the bigger picture, but it can also feel alienating. Behavior specialist Elaine Morin and James Everett explain that whether your self-awareness is helpful or harmful depends on your inner speech or the way that you think. If your thoughts are cold and harsh and you feel like a recluse in social situations, then maybe your self-awareness is taking out all the fun when you're social. But if you enjoy being quiet around your friends and feel at peace while simply existing in the same space, then your self-awareness is enhancing a situation that, as an introvert, you might not get a lot of fun out of. So what did we learn about quiet people? You can trust them to listen and they can be capable leaders. They aren't quiet because they're depressed. They aren't more intelligent just because they're quiet, but they are more self-aware. Most importantly, don't underestimate quiet people. If you are a quiet person, let us know if you relate to any of these. And if you have a quiet friend, share this video with them. Before you go, remember to leave a like and subscribe to Psych2Go for more videos like these.