Nic Sheff || Let Me Down Slowly (Trigger Warning)

I know this must sound meaningless, but I'm sorry. Yes. This isn't like ******* cancer. This is my ******* choice. I built myself here. Are you high right now? No. I was worried that you were smoking too much pot. Meanwhile, you're out doing every drug on the planet? And hiding it, and lying? My son is out there somewhere! I don't know how to help him! You can't! I'm done. He left the facility today during free time, and he hasn't returned since. Are you using? No, dad, I'm not ******* high right now! I'm really sorry, Ryan, and I... I fucked up and it was a mistake. I said I'm an alcoholic and a manic. He sounds desperate. I'm gonna die if I don't do it. He's gonna die, he's gonna do it. That thing we do has any effect on him? I'm sorry, dad. I just need some ******* money, alright? So, please just give me some ******* money. And then, where is this at? I gotta see this made through, this is kinda working out for me right now. I got five days, so... It doesn't look like it's working out. Hey, you're doing great. I just don't know what to do. Please don't do this, mom. I'm sober for a while, but I'm seriously looking to party right now. Relapse is part of recovery. That's like saying crashing is part of pilot training. My son has gone missing, and I wanted to check to see if he had maybe been brought in. Where have you been? Dad, I just need to sleep, alright? What have you been doing? I just need to sleep, I don't know. Look, I'm 18, alright? You can't force me. Just not too long ago, you were reading, and you were writing, and you were on the water polo team. And look at us now. Get out. This isn't us, this is not who we are. Stop. Dad, I'm really sorry about everything. There are moments that I look at him... This kid that I raised... Who I thought I knew inside and out... And I wonder who he is. If you could take all the words in the language, it still wouldn't describe how much I love you. If you could gather all those words together, it still wouldn't describe what I feel for you. What I feel for you is everything. He said it's close to a miracle Nick survived with all the drugs in his body.