Why Suicides Are On The Rise. [Especially Among Sensitives, Empaths, and Wanderers!]

Welcome to Evolved Sun. This is your host, Matt Finch, and in today's episode, you're going to be learning all about the topic of suicide, as it has become very apparent to me that the number of suicidal starseeds and weary wanderers wanting to either end their present incarnation or not caring if they live or die seems to be on the rise. I'm going to be using as a resource today a Wanderer's Handbook by Carla Rueckert and abridged by Jim McCarty, specifically Chapter 10 Societal Issues in the subsection on suicide. I think you're really going to get a lot of value from this episode, as you'll be hearing about Carla Rueckert's ideas about suicide, as well as some of her channeling sources, such as Ra, Latwee, and Quo, who are all Confederation members, ranging from 4th through 6th density. There are quoted passages from Latwee and Ra and Quo in this section on suicide, and additionally, there are quotes from many other wanderers who have either contemplated or even attempted suicide in the past and what they learned from it. I wanted to do this topic today because I just took around a month off from uploading and creating videos for the reason of being totally burned out spiritually and physically and emotionally. The end of this winter has proved to be pretty difficult for me. I seem to be powered by the sun and the warmth that it brings, and we've had storm after storm after storm after storm after storm, thus preventing me from getting nearly enough sunlight to have a lot of energy and a good mood. As a consequence, my energy tanked. I was so exhausted that there was no way that I could even think about making a video because my physical vitality and my creative force was very, very low. And another thing, there was even a portion of this month, maybe a few days long, where I was so tired and so drained that I didn't even care about finishing this present incarnation. I wasn't suicidal. I didn't have suicidal ideation, but I just reached such a low that had I died on one of those days from an accident, there's a big part of me that would have been very grateful for that. But I have a 13-year-old beautiful daughter named Willow, and the thought of leaving Willow without a dad, and the thought of the damage it would do to my parents, other family members, and friends, I was easily able to snap out of that type of thinking. And now I'm feeling a lot more energy, as we've had a lot of sunny weather in the past week. So here I am creating another episode for you. And I wanted to do this topic on suicide, specifically from the perspective of the raw material, the law of one, the confederation channelings by LL Research, and through the lens of reincarnation, soul evolution, etc. If you are a currently weary wanderer, or even a suicidal starseed, or maybe you've just gone through moods, as I did for a brief portion of time, where you don't actually want to commit suicide, but you also could care less if you live or die, even if it's just for a moment, this video is for you. There appears to be an ever-growing number of suicidal starseeds, weary wanderers, people with suicidal ideation, and even suicidal completion, as life on earth has just become more and more chaotic, divided, polarizing, and specifically empaths and sensitive people really can pick up on the collective consciousness and feel that, and feel the energy of others, of society, even of the whole entire collective. I know I certainly tap into those energies all the time. Additionally, there are more and more wanderers using drugs and alcohol to self-medicate sadness, and soul weariness, and their empathy, and their sensitivity. I've had a pandemic and now that have died from fentanyl overdoses, and these have all been young guys in their 30s. As it appears that we are on the foothills of World War III, more and more people are checking out, so to speak. More and more people are not wanting to be here on earth, and specifically, wanderers and starseeds, where their home density, or home vibration, level of soul evolution, is the sixth density, the density of unity, or the law of one, fifth density, the density of wisdom or light, or fourth density, the density of love or understanding. These souls that are incarnate here in third density, the density of choice, where there is at least a hundred times more catalyst than fourth density and above, it's just getting harder and harder for a lot of people. Coming from such harmonious planes of existence, such as sixth, fifth, and fourth density service to others, these current apocalyptic end times in third density earth humanity is just wrought with suffering, and difficulty, and high amounts of catalyst. And while times seem to be getting harder and harder for many people, the silver lining of that is that we chose to be here during this time. Our soul chose to be on earth at this exact time for a few reasons. To help the earth and the earth peoples shift completely into fourth density, to offer our soul gifts and talents as a service to others and a service to the all, to help us polarize much more rapidly than we can polarize in our home density as in third density we have the veil of forgetting, and to be here at this specific time to help to increase the harvest of souls from third to fourth density. Additionally, all souls that are incarnate on earth right now, whether their home density is third, fourth, fifth, or sixth vibration, all souls that are choosing to be here right now are courageous, very courageous. We knew exactly what we were getting into, and I've heard that there was a line, a waiting list so to speak, to be able to incarnate on earth during these apocalyptic end times, as we move closer and closer to the very end of the 75,000 year master cycle of third density. So if you've been feeling down or low, or even have thought about suicide or not cared if you live or die, this episode is for you my friend, and I pray that this episode helps to give you more insight, more understanding, more faith, and more will to continue this incarnation and to use all of this catalyst as tools for metaphysical spiritual growth. Most of the main hardships you're encountering in this life are actually pre-programmed lessons that your soul and your higher self set up in your life between life in time-space right before this incarnation began. And with that being said, I hope you really, really get a lot out of this episode, and let's get right into it. Suicide. When I was 12 and a half years old, I came to a point of personal crisis. I was in despair. I'd come to the conclusion after years of trying to help out in a family which badly needed my help but could not thank me for it, and indeed criticized me at every turn, that I was entirely unable to be of true service. I felt hopeless and helpless. I kneeled down in the tiled bathroom of my family home and prayed to die. Six months later, my kidneys failed, and I did temporarily die. However, once on the other side of this life, I immediately was given the choice of coming back in another life, or coming back into this present life, even though I had perhaps piled too much of both lessons to learn and gifts to share on my plate this time. I was enormously elated to think I would eventually be able to be of service to someone, somehow, and, in a state of great joy, mentally chose to return to this present life. I was instantly back in my body, and here I remain to this day, thank heavens. I could never fail to understand what drives people to suicide, having been there myself. I do not recommend it on any level, but I grasp the despair and hopelessness that move people into suicidal moods. A meditation member asks those of Latwe, could you say a few words on the subject of suicide? To which those of Latwe reply, my sister, it is not our intention or our right to For this reason, we would strongly suggest that those present be aware that such an action is, although not positively polarizing in most cases, an acceptable form of death for those who seek a different avenue of progress. We, being of a positive orientation, regard this as a detrimental action in that, as you are aware, it terminates the possibility of attainment before a number of lessons are offered. It also acts in a less-than-selfless manner upon the lives of others who had chosen to interact with the now-dead individual for the purpose of that individual's and their own learning. Again, this, as it exerts control and influences the learning progression of others, can be regarded as beneficial to those whose path lies in the direction of negative orientation. However, for those who seek positive polarization, we, in the majority of cases, would strongly suggest avoiding this path. It is very difficult for those who are suicidal to see this point. To them, it tends to look like a service to others' gift to end the incarnation. There is the feeling that this will end the pain, for the self and for those around the self. Barbara says, I hadn't quite thought of the running away as in ending it all. There is a wall there in my psyche which prevents me from even thinking about running away like that, but I do long for this existence to be over sometimes. I think that many of us do. The temptation to run away from life and into the next world can be very seductive. K78 says, I'm tired of being the bunny, and I want out unless there are damn good reasons for continuing. So far, I've found none. There is absolutely nothing that I want from this life I can and would leave tomorrow if opportunity offered, and if opportunity doesn't offer, I can soon create one. And whilst I abhor the use of violence, either towards oneself or others, I've had a good deal of experience with fasting, enough to know, not only that it is the best way out, but also that it's a respected and not uncommon one in the yogic tradition. This Australian has been eyeing suicide for years, and it is to his credit that he has refrained from following its siren call in his psyche, for he has dreams of service to the planet that may well one day bear fruit, and benefit all of us. It is so easy to go from the bare idea to a discussion of ways and means, and feel that one is coping well with the subject, but to me, there is no benefit in choosing one form of suicide over another. The result, in all cases, is the loss of a precious soul before her time has come to leave. Cheryl Halra puts this suicidal urge down to not appreciating her very life. There were many times in my younger adult life that I came close to death, but an instant of twist of fate freed me from the entanglement of death. Then I came out of the experience without a scratch, smelling like a rose I've heard. I've had an added seatbelt in life. I used to take advantage of it knowing I was protected, and playing quite daringly with life. I walked on the edge for years. Why not? I didn't fear death. The problem was I didn't value my life. One great problem with suicide is the service to self aspect that I would call the selfishness of the proposed act. Having survived the suicide of my beloved companion of many years and partner in research, Don Elkins, in 1984, I can witness firsthand the immense cost of this suffering. It has been 16 years since Don became despondent, then mentally ill, psychotic and delusional, and eventually shot himself. Not any hour within any day has passed since then without the images of his last illness being brought forcibly to my conscious waking mind. Especially those last images of him with a gun to his own head, his eyes quite mad, his life fading before my eyes. Every all too honest word about my confusion at the time, everything I ever said that could possibly have helped to discourage him, play again and again in my head, even though upon severe and prolonged self-examination. I can see in every instance I was doing my absolute best, making no ethical mistakes, doing all I could to love and support him. I am not consumed by his death as I was for the first six or so years after he died. I sleep again, I have gotten over my very deep anger at him for abandoning me, I no longer have to seek psychiatric help to get through my own days, and I trust him to have done exactly as he thought best. I do not begrudge him that, but I still suffer daily, and probably hourly from the guilt and pain associated with his action. And beyond all else, Jim McCarty and I simply miss him, for he was our leader and beloved companion. Life without Don is a poor thing indeed. Those of Kuo say, as entities become more inclined to spiritual work, guilt is vestigial and unhelpful, for nothing can be done to ameliorate the situation about which the guilt is felt. A good example of this is the feelings of family in the event of suicide. Even those who are not related to the family member, but were friends, will consider to themselves, immediately upon hearing of the demise of such an entity in suicide, of all the things that could have been done had the person realized in what bad shape the entity was. Even though the entity has moved on, and nothing can be done, these phantom feelings are very real, and must be dealt with as though they had something to do with consensus reality. Andrea Arden, an astrologer, confirms that suicide has a very real impact, not on the soul who chooses that method of passing into larger life, but on those who are close to that soul. Death is indeed an expansion of consciousness, the spirit freeing itself from the limits of the physical body, a transition. Most of the time, to an astrologer, it can look like the person who died went on a vacation, especially if death came suddenly. The difficult aspects are present, but they tend to show more in the charts of the bereaved who are left behind. It is one thing to think of suicide in the abstract, as a theoretically acceptable choice of how to end one's physical life. It is another to think of dependent children murdered, for instance, because the parent no longer wants to live, and does not wish to leave them alone. That example seems to bring home the terrible error of suicide, the assumption that it happens in a vacuum. It never does, not even for the most isolated person. Even when there are no children, or even family, there are those who will be enormously distressed, not for a moment, but for a lifetime. Suicide always has a detrimental, painful, and lasting effect on all those around the experience. From the standpoint of being of service to others, suicide is disastrous. Sometimes the person contemplating suicide is not at all moved by this consideration, and wishes to hurt those who she may feel have hurt her. However, another central consideration which suggests not choosing to commit suicide is the consequences for the self. It is as though we have bought an airplane ticket on time. It's fly now, pay later. Kuo says, When one refuses, for any reason, to use those abilities that are within one's scope of being, then it is that such an intensity of learning may seem a weight too heavy to bear, and the entity may be, shall we say, forced by its own reluctance to resort to what seems to be extreme measures of coping with the problem that it has devised for itself. In the extreme case, the entity may choose to stop its efforts during the incarnation by what you call the suicide. There are lessons in each area, for lessons cannot be escaped. They may be ignored for a time. The lessons shall eventually be faced, in one way or another, in one incarnation or another. The means and time are of the choosing of the entity that has also chosen the lessons. Those of Ra see suicide as the making of a promise to reincarnate. Don asks, Do I understand, then, that death, whether it is by natural means or accidental means or suicide, that all deaths of this type would create the same after-death condition, which would avail the entity to its protection from friends? Is this correct? Ra says, We presume you mean to inquire whether in the death experience, no matter what the cause, the negative friends are not able to remove an entity. This is correct largely because the entity, without the attachment to the space-time-physical complex, is far more aware and without the gullibility which is somewhat the hallmark of those who love wholeheartedly. However, the death, if natural, would undoubtedly be the harmonious. The death of murder being confused and the entity needing some time-space in which to get its bearings, so to speak. The death by suicide causing the necessity for much healing work and, shall we say, the making of a dedication to the third density for the renewed opportunity of learning the lessons set by the higher self. No matter how useless everything may seem, to my mind there is little chance that I will be in a better place to deal with life at a later time or in another life than I am now. There is in me, especially since my childhood death or near-death experience, a vital awareness of the worth of the gift of life. It is my feeling that if we are here, we have provided for ourselves lessons and services to receive and to offer, and we also have within us and around us sources of guidance and sustenance that are always equal to the moment. We may well suffer greatly, but the suffering is part of what we came here for and what we learn from. To try to circumvent these problems and their challenge is futile. We can only put them off and create a lot of suffering for others by choosing to end our lives before the creator has called for us to go. There is less obvious ways of committing suicide, and it is one which I have seen several times. It occurs when someone, as Andrea Arden says, disconnects from life. My experiences as an astrologer and a regression therapist have led me to believe that people always choose, consciously or not, when and how they die. From a personal perspective, I watched both of my parents decide to die when they were each confronted with an illness they chose not to live with. Neither one expressed it verbally, but it was obvious that the choice was made. It was as if someone threw a switch and they disconnected from life. In each case, death came very swiftly after that. How many of us have known someone who, in the latter stages of a mortal illness, stopped trying to get better? It does seem that death comes more easily to someone who has given up. I can only encourage us not to allow hopelessness to sweep us away. It is seductive, but it is false. Anthony Thomas shares his story of coming very close to suicide and realizing that this is not what he wishes to do. I felt lost, alone. My thoughts were too intense at those younger ages, too above the normal masses. No one could understand me and I couldn't understand myself. Finally, at age 19 or so, I attempted to end this body's physical reality, hoping to go back to wherever I came from. I knew that I was not from this plane of existence. After taking two bottles of sleeping pills with a glass of milk, I went to bed. My mind was spinning. Thoughts entered and went. My mind was haunting me, scaring me out of this choice I made. Telling me how selfish this choice was. How senseless it was. Who is going to take care of my mother? Or my pet kitty cat? What of my mission? Then, with all my strength, I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. I only had enough energy left to throw up a portion of the pills. Hopefully, it would be enough. I then crawled into bed and went to sleep, hoping that I would wake up the next morning. Anthony, I am glad you made it. Suicide is a choice of fear over love. Of emptiness over fullness. Of nothing over everything. I think it is a very unwise choice to second guess the creator. And Ken Page's story really brings this out. I felt it was time to let my body go and explore other worlds. I felt quiet. I loved the earth, but I had made up my mind that I was done here. I felt emotionally fragile and on the verge of tears. I wanted to hold back my emotions, but told myself I needed to be more open and vulnerable. I knew I was dying. When I had felt something like this in the past, it meant there was a part of me I needed to let go of. Yet, this was different. This was total death. This time for my leaving was close. One afternoon, soon after, we were planning to go to a movie and she went to take a shower while I watched TV and relaxed. Suddenly, I heard her cry out. I went to the bathroom door and called to her. She didn't answer. The door was locked and I panicked. I banged on the door and called to her again. The door opened. Mary was gray, frozen in pain and told me to take her to the hospital. The police had been called ahead to notify them and they met us with a wheelchair. Mary was in incredible pain and can barely talk. I knew this was it. Soon, the doctor told me she was in shock and it didn't look like she was going to make it. I told her I loved her and was going to give myself totally to her and she could feel my love. I put my hand on her stomach and prayed. I told her over and over how much I loved her. We merged together and I felt a shift. A warmth came over us and we felt the presence of God. X-rays showed there was something the size of a grapefruit inside of her, an obstruction, a tumor they needed to operate to find out what was going on. I stayed with Mary until they took her into surgery. My hands upon her. My energy connected to hers. I sat outside in the hall and continued to pray. I visualized the mass inside of her disappearing. Thirty minutes later, two surgeons came out. They seemed confused. They told me Mary was okay. She was going to make it. They had opened her abdomen up completely and everything was perfect. They explained how they checked all her organs and found nothing wrong. They didn't know what to make of it and had no explanation for her crisis or the image on the X-rays. This was a miracle. As we shared our thoughts over the following days, it became clear to me I was not the same man. What had happened? The answer quickly came to me. At the moment I gave myself totally to Mary and her spirit coupled with mine, the part of me existing in the alternate reality came home. I was back in present time here on earth, fully in my body. My vibration had changed and the energy of creation was, once again, flowing through me. I was finally at peace. If you are contemplating suicide, I wish to call you back to the forces of your own unfinished life and work, this present reality with all its challenges and pain. Examine this choice with extreme care. Perhaps there is AIDS or cancer or fear of the final stages of a disease, yet you live and always this is for a reason. As you read these words, I encourage you to find ways to open up to love and self-confidence, to faith and hope, to finding your feet and finding self-forgiveness. Come back to life. I do not feel we are through at this banquet until the celestial waiter brings the check. Eat and drink of life's sweetness in the tiny ways and stepping outside and smelling the dew on the grass, the rain in the air, the honeysuckle in bloom, or taking the time to imagine them. Renew the springs of your faith and keep three words as your motto till you are on safe ground again. Never give up. All right, and that concludes this episode. Thanks so much for tuning in. And again, that reading was from A Wanderer's Handbook by Carla Ruckert and a portion of Chapter 10, Societal Issues, on suicide. One of my previous videos, which I'll put a link to up in the right corner here, was on wanderer issues of money and work and career. I'll likely do other episodes on some of the other sections of Chapter 10, such as home and children, abortion, and drugs and addiction. A Wanderer's Handbook, an owner's manual for ETs and other spiritual outsiders, is a very long and detailed book that totally changed my life. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it. And if you look down at the links below this video, you can find a link for this book and also information on suicide hotlines and more. Take good, good care of yourself, and I'll talk to you next time.