Aesop & Son (un-restored) The Hare & the Tortoise pt 1 & 2

That's it, Junior. Set the chair down right on the starting line. But, Pop, are you sure this will make a track star out of me? Positive. All right, all right. On your mark, set, get. Get? Right. Get into the chair. Oh, gee, Dad, I'll never beat Romulus and Remus this way. Oh, yes, you will. Remember, slow and steady wins the race, which brings to mind... Another fable? This one I call the Hare and the Tortoise. Once there was a hare with an, you'll pardon the expression, unnatural appetite. He not only ate three square meals a day, but he ate them every hour on the hour. Boy, do I love food, food, food. Hello, hello. Let me speak to the grocery store. Hello, grocery? This is Mr. Hare. No, not the follicle-type hare. Rabbit-type hare. Look, send me over a bag of walnuts, will you? Walnuts. Gotta have some right away. That's right, walnuts. Unknown to the hare, the grocery store had just hired a new delivery boy, or rather, a delivery tortoise, and we all know how slow tortoises are. It wasn't until a year later that the walnuts reached their destination. You, Mr. Hare? Yes, yes. Hi, Mr. Hare. You order walnuts? Yes, I order walnuts, but that was a year ago. I know. That's why you got wall, not trees. Trees? Nuts. Yeah, yeah, I know he's new. I know he's new, but he's still awful slow. Okay, I'll tell you what. I'll give you another chance. Send out a gallon of ice cream, huh? Toady fruity. And this time, make it fast, will you? Once again, the little tortoise went out on a delivery, and once again, one year later, he arrived at the hare's house. Late again, huh? Lights were against me. Look, look, turtle. I ordered a gallon of ice cream. Toady fruity. Yeah, yeah, yeah, toady fruity. Now, now, it took you one whole year to deliver it. I can imagine what kind of condition hits him. Well, it is a little loose. I can imagine. You still want it? Of course I still want it. Let me have it. Look, I tell you, if this keeps up, I'm going to take my trade elsewhere. I will. I'll tell you what. I'll give you one more chance. Just one. He got me sticks of TNT. I'll fix that, turtle. Oh, good, good. Well, send me out one stick of TNT. Oh, and do me a favor, will you? Put a one-year fuse on it and light it. You heard me. I said light it. Well, sir, it was the same old routine. The tortoise left the grocery, and one year later... It's too late, Mr. Hare. But did you order a stick of TNT? I not only ordered it, speedy. I had it lit so that it'd blow up on you. That's for being so slow with my walnuts and ice cream. Well, I apologize for being so slow. Here's your TNT. They had a two-for-one sale. You heard me. I said fire him. But, Mr. Hare, I need the delivery boy. Okay, fire him. Hire me. I just happen to be the fastest creature in the forest. Second fastest. Do you mean to imply, tortoise, that you can outrun this hare? Sir, I could bear them standing still. And so it was decided that the hare and the tortoise would meet in a race. To the victor would go the job of delivery boy. At the sound of the gun, the contestants were off. Or at least one of them was. Now, this particular tortoise may have been slow of foot, but he was fast in the head. He was well acquainted with the hare's voracious appetite. Does my nose deceive me? Or can that be the intoxicating aroma of carrot scallopini? Hello, tortoise. What's cooking? Carrot scallopini? Yeah, carrot whatever you said. Yeah, smells good. You got enough for two? No, just enough for one. I'll let you have it, except you've got to run in the race. Oh, no, no, don't let that bother you. I'll eat now and fly later. Would you mind if I ran while you ate? No, no, no, be my guest. I'll catch up. Ah, but the hare's appetite got the better of him. He sat there for three hours consuming every bit of carrot, whatever it is he said. And who can run on a full stomach? Did the tortoise win the race? With ease. Oh, I see what you mean by slow and steady wins the race, Pop. There's also another moral, son, one that applies to the hare. Bet I know what it is. What? Haste makes waste. Get it, Dad? Yeah, I get it, son. Yo-ho, Junior. Where are you, boy? Here I am, Pop. What's up? Why, my goodness, you're soaking wet. What happened? Nothing. I was just watering my garden. It looks like you got more watering than your garden did. Well, with our hose, it couldn't be helped. I'll show you. Now, Junior, turn that hose off. Junior, turn it off. Now, turn it off. Oh, sorry, Pop. Now, you see, we're both soaked to the skin. Why don't you fix that hose? Well, I tried, but I can't figure out a way to do it. You could if you had to. Had to? Always remember, my boy, that necessity is the mother of invention. And now comes the fable? Correct. It's called The Hare and the Tortoise. Oh, you must be slipping, Pop. You already told me the fable about the hare and the tortoise. I told you part one. There are two parts of that story. As you remember, the tortoise had been goaded into a race with the hare. And it wasn't long before the hare had left the tortoise so far behind that he decided he could well afford to kill a little time. I think I'll take in a movie. The picture was so good, From Hare to Eternity, starring Rabbit Montgomery, that he sat through it twice, which proved to be a fatal mistake. The tortoise wins! Though you are a tortoise, if you are steady and watch out for Rolling Stones, you will come forth first. Well, we all know what happened to the tortoise after that eventful day. He became rich and famous. Isn't that nice? They named Turtle Soup after me. But what about the hare? Ah, that's quite another story. Losing that race caused him to lose everything, and he was kicked out of the rabbit's union. But fellas, my dues are all paid up for three months in advance. Makes no difference. You sell us rabbits back 200 years. Yeah, what hurts most of all is that folks don't say quick like a bunny anymore. Now a broken hare, there was nothing left for him. He went away to a small town where he changed his name and settled down. Time passed, and both the tortoise and the hare grew old. Then one day, the old gray hare sat in his rocker. Concerned, what's all the racket out there? Hey, Grandpa, Charlie Fricket beat me up. What for? For the third time this week. He said that the tortoise beat you in a race, and I said he didn't. This hit the old hare pretty hard when his own grand bunny... Well, that was too much. Well, now that I know that if you're a tortoise and you keep running around over mossy rocks steady like four times or whatever the heck that was, he said... With that, he hurried into the big city and went directly to the tortoise's house. Howdy, hare. Howdy. You got a glove I can borrow? Here you are. Thank you. I hereby challenge you to another race, or are you chicken? No, no. I'm all tortoise, and you're off. The date was set, and the hare immediately tried a trial run to check his speed. How did it do? My speed's pretty frightening, isn't it? I'll say. It took you three hours to run the four-minute mile. Suddenly realizing that old age had taken its toll, and he was probably now slower than the tortoise, the hare had to turn to the speed of his wits. Locking himself in his workshop, he worked day and night inventing ways to increase his speed. By the day of the big race, he was ready, and arrived at the starting line with a wagonload of inventions. What kind of a hare-brain scheme are you up to now? Never you mind, sonny. Just stand aside when you see me coming. The tortoise crept into an early lead, mainly due to the fact that the hare crept into the wagon and took a nap. Grandpa, what are you doing? Right now, I'm taking 40 winks. But the tortoise has gotten way ahead of you. That's all right. Just let me know when he gets to Miller's Barn. Miller's Barn burned down two years ago. In that case, I better get going. Slipping into one of his inventions, a rocket jacket, he lit the fuse. Stand back, boy. I'm gonna pass that tortoise like he's standing still. But as it turned out, the jacket passed the tortoise, the hare standing still on the starting line. Dagnabbit, zipper broke. By now, the tortoise was turning into the homestretch. Like I always say, he who puts his best foot forward counts his hatches before they chicken out. So I'm bound to win. It looked as though history was about to repeat itself. I have come to the end. This is the only way out. Grandpa, Grandpa, that's the coward's way out. Don't drink that. This isn't what you think it is, boy. This is a glass of some old-fashioned gasoline I've been saving for years. Bottoms up! A little gas on his stomach was all he needed for it no sooner hit bottom. And not only did he cross the finish line well ahead of the tortoise, but he kept right on running, never to be seen again. And so you see, Junior, it was necessary for the hare to win that race for the sake of his little grand bunny. And that proves that necessity is the mother of invention. Yeah, Pop, but the hare drinking gasoline proves something else. Oh, what's that? That there's no fuel like an old fuel. I guess you're right.