Chinese Dining Etiquette

You're about to sit down to a nice Chinese meal. A gesture here, a bite there, and all of a sudden, you and your family are shamed, and bad luck is upon all of you. How did that happen? Well, let me start by saying that eating is a huge part of Chinese culture. We eat to celebrate, to honor guests, to socialize, and to strengthen bonds. So doing it the right way is very important. Good manners indicate proper upbringing and invites good luck. Poor etiquette is bad luck and embarrassing for you and the people that should have taught you better, i.e. your parents. And we all know how well that would sit with a tiger mother. Fear not friends, today I'm going to go through a list of eight proper ways to eat a delicious Chinese meal without bringing shame to your family. Number one, where to sit. See, before you even sit down for your meal, it's important to show the proper respect to the host as well as the guest of honor. You do this by not occupying the seat of honor, which is the center seat facing the entrance. Then the second most important person sits to his or her right side, the third most on his or her left side, and so on. The person footing the bill usually sits in the least prominent position, opposite the guest of honor. Number two, how to order. Chinese meals are traditionally family style, where everyone shares all the dishes with one person ordering for the whole table. Sometimes the host will order a few dishes and ask the guest to each order an additional dish. If you're the one ordering, make sure to get a variety and make sure it's an even number. An odd number of dishes is traditionally reserved for funeral meals and that is bad luck. Number three and four, how to pour tea and how to show gratitude. Even with tea, there's a proper way to pour and drink it. It's polite to pour for those around you by taking the teapot handle in your right hand and then placing your left hand on the lid. This shows that you are honoring the person you're pouring for and keeps the lid from falling off. When the tea is out, leave the lid partially off and at the side of the table to indicate to the waitstaff that a refill is needed. Taking the lid entirely off is, you guessed it, bad luck. And if someone is pouring tea for you, a verbal thank you is necessary. Or if conversation is flowing, a verbal thank you may be disruptive so you can take your index and middle finger, bend them and tap them on the table. This is an acceptable show of gratitude that started in ancient times. An emperor was said to have gone undercover with two secret service-like servants in tow to observe his kingdom and how it was doing. At a restaurant, the emperor pours tea to his aides. Normally, they would kneel down on the ground and bow in gratitude. However, this would bore his covers so instead they bow with their fingers on the table like this. As difficult as they are to hold, proper chopsticks handling is a must. So take the time to learn how to use them correctly and avoid unintentional bad behavior. Chopsticks are seen as an extension to your fingers so never point them directly at anyone. It's considered rude. Also, never leave the chopsticks sticking upright of the dishes as it looks like incense in food dishes left in honor of the dead. Bad luck. Along those lines is Chinese meals are usually served on a lazy susan to make family-style eating all the more easy. When a dish is served, the senior-most person gets first stab at it and then it's rotated around the table. It's polite to only take a small portion to make sure everyone gets some. Fish is usually served at Chinese meals as the term sounds the same as which means surplus. Having a surplus is lucky. is a common phrase used during Chinese New Year to wish someone good fortune and surplus year after year. When a fish is served whole, once one side is eaten, never flip the fish over. This custom started in Chinese fishing communities when the fish symbolizes a boat. So flipping it over indicates flipping the livelihood over. So how do you get to the other side? Simply use your chopsticks and grab the backbone and lift up. Set it on the side of the dish and voila! More deliciousness to consume. Last but not least, lucky number eight. Can you pay my bills? How to pay the bill is a very intricate process and the most important custom to note. Guests should never ever split the bill with the host. It's very ungracious because it's as if you're saying that the host cannot afford the bill or that you do not accept his or her hospitality. Super rude. Now the host is supposed to pay for the meal but you have to offer to pay for the meal at least a few times. The more sincere looking the mock effort, the better. Now don't get all into it and really pay the bill because that would be rude too and don't just sit back and accept that he or she is paying even though that is what is really happening because that would make it seem like you expect them to pay and that they owe you somehow. So dance, dance and offer to pay. Graciously allow the host to pay. Then thank them sincerely. So that's our top eight list on what to do at a Chinese meal to bring honor to your family and good luck for all. All while filling your belly with scrumptious eats. Win, win, win. If you haven't seen our chopsticks versus fork video or our epic fight for the bill video, check out the links. I'm gonna put them here or here. I don't know, somewhere here. And we have new RMVs every week so make sure to click the subscribe button and follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. If you have any other tips or etiquette, please let us know. All right, thanks for watching. See you later.