Signs Of Emotional Dysregulation And What To Do About It

Have you ever had an unpredictable outburst or reacted to something in a really bad way? Then you may have experienced emotional dysregulation. Simply put, it means you can't control your emotions. This may be due to trauma or ADHD, or maybe as a child not being taught how to handle your emotions. Everyone remembers Will Smith's drama at the Oscars, right? Where he stormed up on stage and punched host Chris Rock right in the face. Shock in the world. That's a perfect example of emotional dysregulation. When Chris Rock made a joke about Will's wife, she has a hair loss condition called alopecia, Will initially laughed. Then he noticed his wife was not amused and a switch was flipped. That's when Will's emotions became dysregulated and he rushed on stage assaulting Rock. This could possibly be the order of steps in emotional dysregulation and how it can manifest. Find one minute, outburst the next. An obvious strategy to treat emotional dysregulation is therapy, like cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT. But in this video, we'll look at three other unique strategies. So keep watching. According to WebMD, emotional dysregulation can be defined as mood fluctuations or mood swings. This means that your emotions aren't within the normal or acceptable way to react to things. For example, unreasonable expression of emotional outbursts like anger or something minor triggers into something more. Becoming impulsive. Having mental health issues like depression and anxiety or even abusing substances and other self-harming behaviors. If not treated properly, emotional dysregulation can have an impact on your social life, work life, school life and relationships. Remember Will? His actions definitely harmed his career. Continuing with Will Smith and his unpredictable reaction, no one was expecting that behavior, right? That was someone who couldn't control his behavior in the moment. Since we aren't all celebrities at award shows, a more relatable example of an emotional outburst is flouncing. What's flouncing? Flouncing is an interesting type of unusual outburst and a way emotional dysregulation can manifest. People should learn to control their emotions as they grow from teenagers to adults. But since a lot of our interactions these days take place online, this might not be happening anymore. We're seeing more people having confrontations and dramatic outbursts on social media in forums, groups or communities and announcing that they're leaving these online spaces in an exaggerated way for attention. According to Urban Dictionary, flouncing is leaving an internet group or thread with exaggerated drama and acting in ways to draw attention to the drama. In other words, it's the internet equivalent of storming out of the room and making a dramatic exit while slamming the door behind you on the way out. In real life conflicts, one might feel sorry for the person who's dramatically storming out of the situation because they've been wounded and hurt. Some people might even run after the aggrieved person and say, no, don't leave, stay. In the world of the internet, it isn't always possible to run after the party that's hurt, which makes the dramatic exit an ineffectual behavior. When people throw a big enough tantrum and cause a scene, especially if they aren't well known to the other group members, people's reactions online are more likely to be, bye, don't let the door hit you on the way out. It turns out there's lots of psychological and neuroscientific evidence to back up this behavior. Dramatic people want others to notice how upset or sad or angry or anxious and frustrated they are in order to come to their rescue. And there are two types of people in this world, those who avoid confrontation and those who thrive on stirring the pot. According to Science Alert, psychologists have come up with a scientific measurement scale called the need for drama. Researchers have found that those who scored higher on this scale shared three main characteristics, manipulation, outspokenness, aka gossip, and reactivity due to their internal perception of being a victim. Scientists also found that dramatic people tend to be more impulsive and therefore are more likely to jump into drama and tantrum mode. But how does this affect us? Nicole Roberts from Forbes tells us that according to neuroscience, drama is another way of saying that someone lacks social and emotional skills, where there's a disconnect between the two. As socially wired human beings, we love storytelling. It helps bond us together. But in today's fast-paced world, we have limited time and shorter attention spans, so we're becoming less patient. The way we communicate today through storytelling has changed. This has included some positive changes, such as the increase in TED talk videos and videos like ours at Psych2Go. But on the flip side, our social interactions on digital platforms are filled with misinformation and gossip. As a social species, we all require attention, but social media has caused an excess in attention-seeking behaviors. It's 24-7, all-pervasive availability, and psychologists believe that this behavior is driven by emotional desperation. When people's beliefs, values, or ideals are threatened, instead of just removing themselves from the situation or quietly leaving, they instead become impulsive in their reactions and their expectations of the outcome. When we don't get the attention we seek, we feel anxious. And to ease that anxiety, we instinctively seek more drama to get the attention we're craving. But there's a downside to this drama. Stress. And we all know that's harmful to our health. According to psychology today, because conflicts cause stress, which is our defense mechanism against perceived harm, it tells us one of two things. We've either been hurt or we're about to be. If we think we're hurt, our brain switches into action and causes us to be more impulsive or reactive. We may not have control over our environment, but we do have control over how we react to it. So the next time you feel like the internet is against you, instead of angrily announcing I'm leaving to a bunch of people who don't really know you and probably don't really care, save your energy. You can learn the art of protecting your well-being and quietly shut the door behind you on your way out. How can you do that? Let's look at some ways to treat the damage emotional dysregulation and flouncing can cause. If you ever relate to being in a similar scenario like Will Smith, here are some tips you could potentially benefit from. Number one, develop psychological flexibility. According to Doctor of Psychology Marissa Berman, psychological flexibility can help with emotion regulation. She says, self-awareness is at the heart of developing psychological flexibility. Half of the battle is understanding current habits. Once you become aware of how you respond to various stimuli, you can start to change your behavior. Two, mindfulness. Mindfulness helps us to be aware of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. How does this help us manage our emotions? It calms us down and increases feelings of safety, which stops the fight-or-flight response that can cause outbursts. It also gives us advance warning about our triggers so we can respond, not just react. According to Dr. Ron Siegel, assistant clinical professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, when we feel uncomfortable emotionally, we want to do things that make us feel better. But mindfulness teaches us how to be with our physical and emotional discomfort. When we are more comfortable with our uncomfortable emotions, we're better able to control them. And number three, the stop method. If you're having trouble controlling your emotions, try the stop technique, which combines features of cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, dialectical behavioral therapy, DBT, and mindfulness to help you manage your emotions when dealing with challenging or difficult anger-causing situations. According to positivepsychology.com, the acronym stands for S. Stop. Remind yourself to take a moment and pause before reacting. T. Take a breath and notice your inhales and exhales. O. Observe. Observe your thoughts, physical sensations, and feelings. P. Pull back and get perspective. Get a wider view of the situation. Step back and see the big picture. What's a different way that you can see what's going on? You might ask yourself, why do our reactions sometimes take over and get the best of us? M.P. Practice what works. Proceed. How can I deal with the situation in a way that is best for me and others, in a way that aligns with my core values? Where do our core values go when our emotions take over? A professional therapist can give you strategies and exercises you can use to help regulate your emotions, such as the stop exercise mentioned in this video. You can also journal your feelings and emotions to help distance yourself from your emotions in order to get perspective and make sense of them. Have you learned something new that you can share with friends or family? Let us know. The references and studies used are listed below. Until next time, thanks for stopping by.