EMMA'S ALLOTMENT DIARIES / FEELING HOT HOT HOT / AUGUST 2020

Hi everyone, welcome back to my allotment diaries. I don't know why I'm talking quietly, there's no one here today, no one is as crazy as me. It's going to be like 34 degrees again today and I planned to come down here really early in the morning, I got up at like 6am and then the kids were just... so I ended up making pancakes and scrambled eggs. Anyway it's 9.30 now and it's already really really hot but I'm here to water everything, look after everything. We're having such a big heatwave here in London that I feel like if I don't get down here everything's going to die, especially now the tomatoes have got blossom end rot on them which means that I'm not watering them basically. I did have a plan to build a structure today but you know what, it is so bloody hot, I'm not going to be able to do that so I think I'm going to do some general maintenance and I'm going to look after the pond today as well, I think it's a pond day. I still haven't got any bloody frogs in the pond, I don't know where all the frogs are, I thought frogs would just come to water but apparently not. My wildlife area has turned out to be a bit of a wildlife deterrent area because wildlife just don't seem to like it, they don't really know why. Apart from me, I know I'm being paranoid but I feel like it's a bit of a personal attack on me because of all of the things that I've said to them and done to them. Wildlife, they go to my watering can, when my watering can gets filled up I've got birds eating out of it and drinking out of it and stuff, puddles form at the back of my plot and it's like wildlife flocks to it. Build a bloody wildlife pond, do they come? No, they bloody don't come, they're not interested in it, it's a personal attack, I know it is. I'll just ignore everything I'm saying because the heat is obviously getting to my brain. Right, what I'm going to do is I'm going to water, I'm going to water everything first, let's do that first for Christ's sakes. That didn't work, I basically filled this tray and then I just sort of watered it like that and it's all gone everywhere. So don't do that, make sure that you put a thingy on the top of your watering can if you can find it and your kids haven't run off with it and buried it somewhere, otherwise this happens. It's too bloody hot to do anything big so what I'm going to do is I'm going to sow some spring onions. This is the variety, salad onion, white Lisbon, winter hardy. Right, so it says to sow them in August and you can harvest them in March. I thought it'd be quite a good thing to harvest in March, March is kind of a dead month isn't it and you're kind of ready for spring in March so I thought this would be good. Now I haven't got any compost with me here so what I'm doing is I'm using half compost from the raised beds that are already in there and half just like dirt on the floor which has made an interesting concoction but actually I think it's quite a good idea. Bugger off! Actually I think it's quite a good idea because I'll tell you why, during lockdown I couldn't get my hands in any compost and it did make me realise that seeds only need dirt and they will grow and so it saves you money and it saves you time to bring compost to your plot. Secondly, I actually think it's quite a good idea for seeds to start off in the soil that they're going to be transplanted into. I think it stops it being so much of a shock for the seedling because it's growing in the soil and then you put it into the soil and it's the same bloody soil so it's not going to be like this is great here, I've got all these nutrients, this is so happy, I love being in here, this is the seed singing, dancing, having a nice life. All of a sudden you pluck it out and you stick it in the ground and it's like urgh! Worms? What's all this stuff? So that was a pretty good dramatic, I should get an Oscar for that shouldn't I? But yeah that is a good thing about using compost from your garden, so soil. Look I've told you I'm hot okay, I was not thinking straight. Anyway I'm going to sow these spring onions in these modules. I'm going to do that now. Can you see it there? You sort of, you can see enough. God I feel stupid, I'm sure you know what it looks like when someone plants seeds. Right it feels like a quite small, just bloody nemesis. Oh they're flipping tiny, oh I don't know why I filmed all that, it's like 15 minutes of me dropping seeds into a bloody seed thing, riveting content. One of the memories I have of spring onions is that it's one of the the only things my mum ever planted in the garden that was like edible and she planted them everywhere, like literally everywhere and they literally took over the entire garden and I remember from being a kid the garden stank of onions for like two years while she was just trying to get rid of spring onions, they just kept popping up everywhere so I know that they are quite hardy little plants and I think they're quite easy to grow really. If my mum can do it, anyone can do it. Sorry mum, it's true. Can I just say that is not how you sow seeds and that is shite, that is the worst thing I've ever done at the plot I think, that is awful, absolutely atrocious, there's bits of rock on it, I don't know what that is, I don't know what that is, I don't know what that is and you can't even see the modules but you know I'll whack them in and see what happens, I don't know, I've given up now. If not I can just sow them directly into the ground but you know what, who knows, they might bloody grow, who bloody, I don't know, I don't have a freaking clue, stuff grows here that I don't know is going to grow all the time, I don't know why. This guy's back again, I don't know what it is guys, I think it's a cat, it doesn't look like any kind of cat I've ever seen before, what's he looking for, I don't know why, I just feel like this is a really weird cat, it's something about his aura, it's very odd, it's like a lion, it's like a lion, hi, oh hi, I haven't got anything, no, I don't know why it just seems really wild and feral, it's just got this like aura about it, yeah a few skulk, it's weird the way it holds itself isn't it, what, it's just weird the way holds itself, I can't explain it, it's just a very very odd cat, why are you so odd, why are you so weird, oh it's gone, it's gone, it's going, it's going, it's gone, I can't connect with wildlife, I don't know how people do it, my husband, if he sees a cat, he's on the floor, he's stroking it, he's cuddling it, they're best friends in like two minutes and me, I'm just like hello, nice to meet you, can't connect with it, I don't know, maybe that's why it doesn't like me, oh get an allotment they said, get closer to nature they said, all right guys I'm going to leave it there because I'm absolutely sweating, I just can't do anything at the plot today other than kind of manage it and look after it, so I will see you again next time, hopefully it'll be on Friday, let me know any particular vlogs you want to see, if you want to see my progress maybe from the beginning to the end, if you want to see compilation clips or something, I don't know and I will get that done for you because I'm going away for two weeks on Monday, well not going away, I'm having to move out of my house because the builders are going to move in basically and knock some walls down, so it's going to be a little bit harder for me to get here and vlog those weeks but I'll do my best, but yeah let me know anything in particular you want to see and I will see you next time, I hope that you endure this heat wave, heat wave, heat wave, I'm so done with the heat now, I'm ready for autumn, my pumpkins are ready, my sunflowers are ready, I'm just completely ready for autumn but I will see you next time, stay safe, bye.