14 Subtle Things Abusive Parents Do

When it comes to abusive parents, what comes to your mind? Do you think of physical, mental, and sexual abuse? Parents can be abusive in ways that are hard to detect. It doesn't matter how the parents express it though. Abuse is abuse, no matter what. Long-term abuse will increase the chances of developing serious mental health problems that will be dragged into adulthood. Different forms of abuse will affect children in numerous ways. Curious to know more? Here are 14 subtle things an abusive parent can do to their children. One, little to no privacy. There's a huge difference between a parent protecting their child from harm versus giving them a lack of privacy. It's essential for parents to provide age-appropriate privacy to their children, such as allowing them to change alone in their room. Two, invalidating emotions and reality. Parents can invalidate their children's feelings by telling them how to feel or completely denying their feelings altogether. This makes children feel unheard and internally conflicted. In the long run, children will have difficulties trusting their judgment and making decisions. Three, giving the silent treatment. It's an immature way of handling things and it's emotionally abusive. Parents use this tactic to exert their power or punish their children. Due to this, the children feel unheard, rejected and develop low self-esteem. Four, playing the victim card. This type of behavior is emotionally abusive because the parent doesn't take responsibility for their actions. This in turn can affect children in two ways. They can learn this type of behavior and use it as a coping mechanism when they're older or develop feelings of guilt and shame and blame themselves for things that they shouldn't. Five, gaslighting. This is a type of psychological abuse and it's difficult to detect. It's a type of manipulation where the abuser creates doubt and confusion within the victim. A parent who gaslights their children will leave them feeling insecure, paranoid, anxious and mistrusting. In extreme cases, the child will end up questioning their reality. Six, threats of violence. It's emotionally abusive for parents to threaten their child with physical violence even if they aren't gonna use it. Children end up feeling unsafe around their parents and don't wanna be home. Seven, favoring a child over another. Parents can act differently with their favorite child. For instance, giving them more attention, better gifts, less discipline and more privileges. This will affect the other child by decreasing their self-esteem. They can develop depression, feel rejected, feel inadequate and in the long run, fall into similar relationships outside of the home. Eight, being overly critical. This type of abuse occurs when a parent repeatedly criticizes their child. For example, harshly comparing their children with one another. Children end up developing low self-esteem, feeling inadequate and worthless. Nine, taking control of your finances. Parents who take away their child's money are abusive and believe their children owe them. It's not the child's responsibility to pay back for anything. On the contrary, children should be encouraged to develop independence and learn how to correctly handle their money. 10, emotionally absent. This type of abuse is again difficult to detect. In many cases, children don't notice they're being abused. When a parent is emotionally absent, the child will end up feeling unappreciated and unsupported. In severe cases, children can develop depression and become needy as an adult. 11, using guilt. Parents who are constantly guilt tripping their children are emotionally abusive and it's a form of manipulation. This damages the child's confidence and self-expression. They end up feeling like a disappointment and in many cases, children feel guilty for everything they do, even when it's correct. 12, humiliation. Intentionally humiliating a child as punishment causes more harm than good. It emotionally drains children and affects their self-worth. It also teaches children that it's okay to bully one another. In the long run, children end up feeling shameful and become preoccupied with what others think of them. 13, earning your parents' love. Parents should love their children unconditionally, but that isn't always the case. Parents who love conditionally withdraw love to manipulate the children into doing what they want. They only show affection when the children are behaving how they want them to. This deeply affects children emotionally. And lastly, 14, taking away your independence. Some parents want their children to depend on them. It's their way of maintaining power and control and this hinders the child's development. A parent can go as far as not allowing their child to make a single decision and even prevent them from learning necessary skills they need to become successful adults. Many of us struggle with different forms of abuse growing up. A lot of the times it can be unintentional. No one's perfect and sometimes parents can do harm to their children unwillingly. This obviously doesn't excuse their behavior. Parents need to become aware of how their behavior affects their children. Have you struggled with any of these types of abuse? Or are you the parent who unconsciously did these things to your child? Let us know in the comment section below. Remember, being aware of these behaviors is the key to healing and changing your life for the better. If you found this video helpful, please give us a like, share this with someone who could benefit from it and subscribe to Psych2Go for more psychology videos. Thanks for watching and we'll see you in our next video.