Black Holes - A Short Film by Meat Dept.

As the launch for the first ever mission to Mars nears, the Space Center organizes cocktail parties for us astronauts. And as chief commander, I'm required to attend. Hey! Occasionally, we run into an old acquaintance or two. Who the hell are you? So there I was, pressurization to the roof, right? And the wedger hits the metrics component. You're beautiful, Dave. I must introduce you to Daddy. You also run the risk of bumping into people you'd rather forget. Hello, Dave. You know each other? Professor. I hadn't seen Professor Finger since my last training medical, and until tonight, had no intention of ever seeing him again. Assume the position, Dave. I'm going to study your anus, so you can go study Mars. Congratulations, Dave. You're now an astronaut. Bon voyage. Nice seeing you. Bon voyage. Yeah, nice seeing you. Leaving already? It was time to prepare for Mars Premium. Space travel involves intense thought and well-crafted plan of action. For example, the shopping list down in Houston's office. It's all here. Pasta chips, coke, whiskey, sausage, fries, a bottle of downy, and for dessert... My flan. Calm now, Dave. You know why flan is not allowed in a zero-gravity environment. The molecular structure would liquefy. Nope. We replaced it with a melon. A melon? But they're not in season. We genetically modified it. It's seedless. Seedless? Goodbye, Dave. Goodbye, Houston. I'd heard about nervous breakdowns due to flan depressurization, but the fact that Houston would lump me in the same categories as those intergalactic amateurs was both hurtful and suspicious. I became wary of the melon. Seedless? If it had no parents, how did it get here? If it wasn't born, then it never actually has lived. And if it has never lived... Well, I refuse to travel with a dead melon. I thought it wise to ask for additional analysis. I'm on a battery of testosterone. Do you understand? Everything. Professor, I'm picking up signal! Then give it a pencil. This melon claims to be the reincarnation of... a fashion designer. Hello. Houston here. Get down here and try on your new spacesuit. But... This melon is simply fascinating. He's so smart, so cultured. The team is crazy about him. The purity of the lines. The audacity of the materials. Fantastisch! This spacesuit is ridiculous. Who designed it? While I was away, the melon had taken control of NASA. I decided to talk to my superior about this. Don't be so obtuse. That suit fits you like a glove. That's not the problem. And while you're here, Dave, I am pleased to introduce you to your new partner. Obviously, the melon was in control. And the vocal synthesizer that enabled him to express himself freely didn't make things easier. Hi, guys. Your interior designer sucks. What are you doing here? I'll have a cognac, son. He freely imposed his eccentric taste on my rocket ship. My beautiful house. My life. One thought kept me in high spirits. One thing that no astronaut ever escapes. Sorry, buddy. We all had to do it. Are you sure? Next. Dr. Fingers' claws. This season, it's all about zebra prints. Thanks for the advice, melon. You should come visit more often, my cherie. Daddy, I have a knife. I can't assist you. Hi, Dave. Let's go, Clara. See ya. Okay. You're up, Dave. But I don't have an appointment. Dave. A shiver went down my spine. What did that little fruit tell him? Wasn't the professor sworn to uphold the Hippocratic Oath? Clara. Since when did she and the melon become so chummy? What caused this sudden complicity? That tenderness. What was going on? Hello, Dave. Life is like a shoebox. You never know what you're going to get until you open it. What are you doing here? Every sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. Ground control to Commander Dave. Melon here. I think Commander Dave fainted. Houston to Melon, where are you? Describe your location. Sector B-21 near Singularity. Dave to Houston. I copy. God damn it, Dave. You scared the bejesus out of us. Are you all right? Do you remember the ending of 2001, A Space Odyssey? The Kubrick movie? Yeah. Why? What did you say, Dave? The ending? With the creepy geyser? Starchild and everything? Yeah, I get it now.