TRAPPED IN MY SHED / EMMA'S ALLOTMENT DIARIES SPECIAL

I have to close. Oh my god, it won't close. I have to sit away from the bloody door, I'm getting soaked. Hello everyone and welcome back to My Lockman Diaries. My name is Emma, these are My Lockman Diaries. Welcome, welcome. This is a little bit of a Brucey bonus video for you today because I've just filmed my vlog, which went up the other day, whenever it went up, and I've gone to leave the plot and it's absolutely poured down and I'm now in the middle of a thunderstorm, sitting in my little shed, which I don't think is going to hold up to be honest. I hope it does, but there we go. It's absolutely torrential rain out there, I can't even close the door and I'm trapped for the foreseeable future and I thought, let's make a vlog about it, let's do it. I'll just show you the extremity of the rain because I am a Londoner and we are used to rain. I'm not like shy of rain or anything, it's just, this is not rain, this is a flood. Oh gosh, I can't even get too close. The windows are rattling. I'm pretty sure you can actually hear, you can hear it, I don't know if you can even hear me. Oh my gosh, this is absolutely insane in here. All I've got to eat is sprouts as well, just raw sprouts and I'm hungry. I want to go home and have a cup of tea. And I've got a kettle and a little gas stove but I haven't got any gas, so unless I make a physical fire, which I don't think is a good idea, knowing my track record of like power tools and stuff and fire, anything dangerous should just not be around me really. Right, we're sort of stuck in here for the future so, it didn't even say it's going to rain on the weather forecast today, it said tomorrow, it said tomorrow. The problem with the sprouts is that they've all got slime juice on it from the slugs. I don't know if you can see but these sprouts here that have blown, these are going to flower, so this is not edible apparently, and these ones are starting to blow, that's why I've had to pick it. And blow just basically means that the sprout is opening up, as opposed to being a nice tight little ball like these ones at the top are. I'm going to try one of these ones but the one with the less, the fewest amounts of sprout juice, I think that one, not sprout juice, slug juice I mean, you know, slug slime. Right, there we go, it's a sprout right? That is officially a sprout. We might be trapped in here forever so I might be getting through all of them, even the ones with slug juice soon, I don't know what's happening. The world's gone mad. I'm just going to peel it a little bit and get some of the top leaves off because they look a little bit dodgy. I have a track record for just eating anything at the plot and then suffering later. Let's not do that today. Right, let's get that bit off because they don't like the look of that. And also I want to check there's no slugs in it. There's no slugs in it, right. Apparently you can eat anything raw. You know what is really weird and quite sad actually is that I didn't actually know the ways that you could eat vegetables before I owned an allotment plot. And that's actually one of the main reasons why I got an allotment plot because I realised how little I actually know about where my vegetables come from, how they're grown and how you can eat them. And I was just like my mum, you see my mum boils every vegetable to death. She just boils everything. Everything just goes in a big pan of water and you just boil it. And that's what I've always done with vegetables and then I wonder why my kids don't eat them. When I got an allotment plot one of the first things I did was start looking up how you can eat vegetables. And like for example yesterday I pan fried my broccoli. I didn't boil it or steam it and it was amazing. I've roasted carrots instead of boiled them and I've put vegetables into a stir fry and stir fried them and they taste so different. Whichever way you cook it changes the taste of the vegetable. It always tastes like a carrot but when you roast a carrot it tastes more sweeter and when you boil it it's like you're subduing the flavour a little bit. Not that there's anything wrong with boiling your vegetables if that's how you want to eat them but I just didn't realise the ways that you could eat them. But one of the things that you can do is you can eat them raw as well and you get the full flavour of it. So I'm going to eat a sprout raw now. It's ok. That does not taste like a sprout. I'm not sure these are sprouts. Are they really sprouts? I'm not sure about that raw actually. Now I've just gone on on one. The thing is I love sprouts. I love cooked sprouts. I like frying them with a bit of pancetta or something. I love the flavour of sprouts. That does not taste like a sprout when it's raw. It tastes like spinach. It tastes like spinach. Someone told me it's like spinach actually. I think I remember that. It tastes like spinach when it's raw. I'm not sure about eating you guys raw. I think I might have to cook you. I don't mind being in my shed actually like this. It's quite nice being trapped in your shed. Whenever I get myself into a situation like this and you probably won't be surprised to hear that it's not the first time I've got myself in a situation where I'm trapped. When we first brought our new house I wasn't sure how to use the bathroom lock and I ended up locking myself in the upstairs bathroom for a good three hours until Dave got back from work. Luckily I was out in time to pick the kids up from school and everything was fine. I do have a habit of getting myself trapped in places. That wasn't my point. My point is I don't mind it so much because right now it's forcing me to slow down a bit and just sit and just relax for a little bit. I don't know about you but especially over Christmas and New Year it's so busy and it's just nice to be forced to sit down for a bit and just chill. This is peanut butter. I've had this in here for ages. Do you know why I've had this in here? Because it was a bird thing. I made a bird maker with peanut butter and I left the peanut butter in my shed. It's been in here for ages. It still smells like peanut butter but I can see a very, very thin layer of mould over it so I wouldn't eat it. How do birds fly in the rain? How do they fly anyway? How do birds fly? And if birds can fly why can't we fly? Why can't we just make wings for ourselves and fly? But how do they fly in the rain? When the rain's coming down it must be like so much water on their wings and yet I see them flying all the time in the rain. How do they fly in the rain? I just don't want to go in the rain because I don't want to get my hair wet but insects must see rain and be like, but how do ants protect against rain? It must rain all the time. How do ants plan their burrows to deal with rain? Do you know what I mean? Do they have flood defences? And why can't we copy what ants do? Because ants' burrows can't get flooded every time it rains because that would just be poor design. And I know that ants aren't stupid because I saw that David Attenborough show with ants and they're actually really smart and they're really strong as well. They must be smart enough to be able to protect against flooding and they live underground, literally underground. Why don't we just look at ants and then just make our flood defences the same as what ants do but on a bigger scale? I've got to get out of the shed, man. I've got to get out of the shed. I've got to get out. I'm getting shed fever. Every time it rains, it rains, rain is from heaven, shooby dooby. It's stopping. It's not completely stopped but it does look like it's sort of stopped. It's actually quite interesting to see the plot just after a rainfall. That sounds so silly but I'm not normally here when there's been a rainfall to actually see the effects of the beds. Also, I learned something really interesting about my plot the other day which I thought I'd share with you right now. It used to be water around here. What was it called? What did the guy call it? Not like ponds but like a swampy place when there's water everywhere. It's raining a little bit. I'll go back in. Like when there's water everywhere. And he said that that's what this used to be, springs. That's it, springs he called it, springs. To which I thought springs, what? But I realised he meant water springs. And that means that it doesn't need much watering because actually there's a lot of water right under the ground. So the longer we leave our crops without water, the deeper the roots will go down and then they'll find the springs. And that's why I've never had a problem with watering at my plot. It's a bit cold out there. That's why I've never had a massive problem with the watering of my plot. And I've not had to rush back in hot weather. And I've always got away with it. It's because there were springs under the ground. Springs. Not to be confused with bouncy springs. That wouldn't do anything at all. That would probably be a hindrance, to be honest. I mean water. I mean water. I hope that's all made sense for you. I'm off, I'm out of here. I'm getting out of here. I've got to figure out a way of getting those sprouts home. I don't want them sticking out my bag or anything. Where's my scissors gone? Why do I always lose my bloody scissors? Bloody plot. Why can't I keep anything? I wonder if the mouse has got it. Does a mouse take a squirrel? Take that? I don't know. We'll leave the sprouts. We'll just get home before it pees down again. I'm off. I'm out of here. See you later. Can you believe it? The whole time I had an umbrella. And I didn't realise that I packed my umbrella this morning. Two hours I've been stuck in this shed. Two hours. I've got an umbrella. I should check my bleeding bag, shouldn't I? Right, I hope you've enjoyed the little vlog today. I'm off home. To have a cup of tea. See you later.