SUMMER IN THE CITY DAY 13: in a bad mood, body image chat, kenzie’s live podcast show

Good morning guys, happy summer in the city day 13 and we only have two more days. So sad. I have a lot of computer work to get done and not a lot of groceries and I need breakfast so I just had my coffee here. I'm going to head over to a coffee shop or something, get some food, sit there, hopefully get a good table and pound some stuff out. We're recording the podcast today and we're doing a Q&A so I'm pulling some questions and then I have to come back and get ready. So I'm wearing this little dress from Free People. It's just so comfortable. I'll come back and get ready for the podcast later. I just threw my hair up, bring in my trusty old tote bag. What's in my tote bag you may ask. My computer. I've been recently trying out this Solwork planner from Montreco. Wallet, blue light glasses, a water. My goal is to be there for about an hour, get some stuff done and just feel productive and just like, you know, it'll be good to just go for a walk and then we're going to head back and get ready. My day kind of shifted. I was supposed to go on a Central Park picnic with my friend today but her flight back to New York, she was supposed to come back to New York yesterday, got canceled and I'm getting nervous because lots of flights are getting canceled and I have some trips coming up. So we couldn't do the Central Park picnic today, which I'm sad. So that was going to be today. It's like summer in the city, but we've still got lots of things we're doing. My friend Kenzie's doing her live show tonight at City Winery. I'm so proud of her and I'm so excited to go see that and see a lot of my friends because we're all going to support her. So yeah, let's get after it. Get some work done. Let's be productive. I literally have Olivia Rodrigo in my ear because I'm just in such a pissy mood and I just can't put my finger on it. I'm in a shitty mood and I can't seem to shake it. I thought going for a walk and going to the coffee shop would help and it's just not. So I'm hoping that getting ready to record the podcast, listening to some Drake and just like blasting it and taking a ginger shot will help in the slightest. And also Brooke and I are walking to the studio today to record the podcast, which I think will be really good just to get some more movement. And like I haven't seen Brooke in about a week because she's been out of town and I miss her so much and I'm so excited to just catch up. So I think that'll honestly put me in a good mood and she's always so great at like listening to me. So on the note of listening, my therapist has, her and I have been playing phone tag. Like I tried to schedule with her. She can't. Vice versa. We just have opposite schedules. So that's been something in itself. It's so crazy. Like once you start therapy, how much you realize you really appreciate it. I just have like a lot of built up emotions about all different random stuff, nothing big at all. Just like random stuff. And it's a lot of it's rooted from my people pleasing. If you guys watched last week's vlog, I don't remember which day it was, but it was when I was cleaning my apartment and all of that. I just kind of talked at the end about like reaching out to people in my life and feeling like I'm always the person reaching out and not getting it back. And it sucks because I think the root of that would be, you know, okay, then don't reach out as much. So you don't get let down. But like, that's just who I am. I can't help myself. I want to include everybody. I want to do everything. And I just feel like I haven't been getting that back recently from like a lot of people in my life. So it just kind of sucks. Nothing major. It's just, I don't know. It's just something I'm dealing with it. So it's like, okay, how do I go forward with that? Like, do I communicate this to people? Do I just kind of like do my own thing for the next few days and just, I don't know. Sometimes when this happens, I need to like dial back and like regain my confidence. Because you know, sometimes you just start to have that like not confident energy and I think it napped, like people can just kind of feel it. And I don't know if that's what I'm giving to people. I don't really know. And this has nothing to do with like, I don't know, like obviously you guys probably this is so annoying to hear because, you know, you're doing so much every day with all your friends and I'm so grateful for that. The Summer in the City series has been so much fun, but I don't know. I just feel like on the back end, like some support in my life I could like use more. Nothing crazy. I just like, I feel like I'm, I think with Summer in the City series, I'm giving so much and I'm doing so much that I'm like, wait, like, I don't know. So I think I just need to take some time the next few days to myself. And I was really stressed because today, like I was telling you, I was going to do the Central Park picnic and I was like so excited because it's for my vlog and, you know, get to see my friend and like that's not happening. And I guess I am like a little bit more let down than I thought I would be about that. Not because of the person, like her flight was literally canceled, but more so just, I feel like I'm letting you guys down, but I know at the end of the day, you guys like my vlogs and I'm just sitting in my apartment. So it's just something I'm working through and the people pleasing, but finding the balance of like what's people pleasing and what's, you know, doing something nice for your friends or for your followers or whatever it may be. So, I don't know, I'm just trying to like verbalize it so I understand what's going on in my own head, but I'm so, so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be vlogging for you guys. So excited to record with Brooke. I'm excited for tonight to see some of my really good friends and watch Kenzie and Mario and Dom on stage. Like I, then I see, I'm like, I can't complain. Like I get to do really cool things. I just, I don't know, like I don't feel like I have like a warm hug right now. And Ryan's just been really, really busy with work and I struggle with like how much I ask for him. But like, obviously he's my boyfriend. He's the best. He's awesome. I just, I don't know, like how much can I ask other people without being too much? So anyways, this is just, I might regret saying all this, but it's just my thought bubble, my ramble. Anyways, let's get ready. Figure out what to do with my hair because it air dried and now it looks crazy. I might curl it. I don't really know. All right. Thanks for listening. All right. I'm ready now. I curled my hair, did my makeup, listened to the Summer I Turn Pretty soundtrack and some Drake. I was doing pretty well and I'm doing pretty well now, but I like read some comments on my video about trigger warning, body image, eating, all of the above. Like, why doesn't Danielle look super thin since she eats healthy and works out all the time? And it's like, that just sucks to see no matter what. One, I don't eat the healthiest and I hope you guys, like, I don't think I really claim to eat super healthy. Yes, I love green juice, kombucha, ginger sauce. Those are all beverages and I do, I'm still working on it. Like, I try to eat nutritiously. I'm always eating vegetables and fruits, but I definitely, I could eat more. I could eat healthier. I feel like a lot of people could, but there's just certain foods in my life that I just really enjoy eating and I like to eat intuitively. That's just how I am. I'm not telling you guys how to do anything, but that's just who I am. And so that's one thing. And second, it just sucks to see. Like, I'm finally, recently in the past few weeks, I don't know if it's just being in bathing suits more. I've just not felt as confident, um, naturally, but I used to, I like go back and look at photos of me when I was a spin instructor and I was like, wow, like I looked so good. And, and then I'll look for photos of me now and I feel like I still look good. It's just, there's certain, like, I'm so self-conscious of my legs. Like, that's like the main thing, my legs. But like, I feel so confident other areas of my body. I love my waist. I love my arms. Like I'm, I feel like everyone has different areas of their body. Whatever, it just sucks. Cause like, since I've been feeling crappy about my body lately, to see that obviously doesn't help, you know, it's like a little salt in the wound. And I don't know, maybe they were just asking the genuine question, but I believe that everyone has different body types. Everyone has different metabolisms and everything. And I'm, you know, yes, I'm feeling a little shitty about my body lately, but I am for the most part, like confident in myself. Like I'm happy with my body type. I like having an hourglass figure and I'll like, I look at my mom and we have very similar figures. Like I'll never be this super thin person, but also that's not the goal. Everyone's different. Everyone's built different. Like I, I can't look just like the next person, especially in this influencer community. There's so much of that. And there's definitely times I feel shitty about it, but I just have to go back to myself and be like, I'm feeding myself food that I want to eat. And I feel like it's good for me. You know, I've been trying to, like, I always just try to eat more greens and fruits and everything of the sort. So for me, like, as long as I know I'm working out and putting good into my body, that's all I care about. And that's all like I can do. And everyone has different insecurities. And for me, it's that, and I just, this is kind of me giving myself a pep talk and hopefully relating to you guys a lot today. It's a big chatty vlog. Sorry. I just had a lot I had to say. So yeah, I'm not like pissed at this person for commenting that like I have a public platform and people do comment and yeah, it sucks. Cause like just a reminder, I do see the comments sometimes, but yeah, I just thought that was interesting and I thought it'd be interesting to talk about that a little bit on the podcast or on YouTube on this, because I don't think we're going to talk about that on the podcast today. But anyway, speaking of the podcast, we're going to go. I think my mood is going to be completely transformed. I'm so excited to see Brooke and have our little walk and chat. I'm gonna, I wonder if she's texting me. I'm gonna open a Topo Chico for the walk over. As you guys know, I love my Topo. I literally need to get more because I'm obsessed. Just like super carbonated and this little glass bottle. We love it. I'll show you guys my outfit. Here's the fit. I'm wearing this midi dress I got last summer from ASOS. It's just pink. Here's the back. Little midi moment and then wearing my All Saints sneakers. I'm not really obsessed with those sneakers look, but we're walking. So these sunglasses I got in a PR package from Zitsticker yesterday, but I think they're from the brand like Sunny's Shades or something. And yeah, everything else is the same. We're going to use my Staud moon bag today. And yeah, we're going to turn this day around. We are going to turn this day around. Back from recording. I totally like didn't vlog there. Sorry, but it was such a good episode. Actually talked about some things that have been on my mind. So it's kind of nice to just get all out and talk to Brooke. Got a bowl from Biobar. A little snacky poo before the show tonight. I'm about to get ready for that. Looks so good. All right, I'm actually feeling pretty good. I just touched up my makeup and my hair and I put on an outfit that makes me feel good because that always helps. This dress is from Revolve. I'll link it below. It is so cute. I love this like natural, just a little slit right there. So cute. Perfect summer dress. I'm going to be wearing this a lot this summer. I love the halter. It's so cute. All my friends that are going seem to all be wearing kind of like dresses like this. And then I have these heels on. They're from the brand Ray on Revolve. They're my little beachy platform shoes for the summer. Using this little Bottega, Bottega bag here. I'm going to do it without the strap. I'm really happy with this fit. It's super comfy. I also added eyeliner and I think it really makes my eyes pop. I just get lazy sometimes, but I think it's a good look. Let me know what you guys think down below. But yeah, the event's at City Winery tonight. Kenzie's doing her live podcast show. She's having our friend Dom Roberts and Margot Austria on as well for her show. And I'm so excited. I know me, Katie, Brooke. Maybe it's just me, Katie, and Brooke. I don't know. It's probably some other influencer friends are going too to support Kenzie. I'm so, so excited to giggle and hopefully meet some of you guys too. A lot of you guys said you were going to the show. So I'm so pumped in all regards. But yeah, and then I think we're doing like a big dinner after now. But yeah, I'm excited. I'm ready early, which is weird. And I'm like, should I go on Instagram live? I think I'm going to. On the way. On the go. We're in pink and purple. I know. We're like in our like brand colors. It's kind of cute. I know. We're like, oh, we're dressed like gals and we're getting pink and purple. I'm so excited. Me too. I'm actually so excited to see everybody get a glass of wine. I was going to ask, are you going to have some vino? Yeah. I feel like I have to at City Winery. It's a winery. Yeah. And I was thinking that because like the last time I went to a show, they're like, you're chilling at a table. Like maybe we can get some french fries. Yeah. I want french fries. So we have a snack. We get our drinks. Like we're set up and we're getting there like early. I love this for us. I do too. Also show everyone your foam beads. Should we bring foam beads back? Okay. I thought that they were already back. Oh, oh. Well, no, I think it's like a summer thing. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very summery. They're very lightweight. These, I got them from Edmonds. So nice. I want to make my own after I got that like little bead kit. We'll see if that ever happens. But yeah, the gals are on the way. It's what you had to know. The ladies are on. Someone said, Brooke, you look so pretty. Oh, that's so sweet, guys. I want to know who you are. We're in the green room. Hello, hello. Got a little cheese board over here. This looks so beautiful. A little post-show dinner. We're going to this place called Monero's. I'm very excited. There's Ruby. So tonight was so, so much fun. I met so many of you guys, which was so cool. Like after the show, we were walking out and like literally a whole like line formed for me and Brooke, which was so sweet. And I haven't done a meetup since like pre-COVID. So it kind of felt like one. And it was just so cool and so exciting. And Brooke and I just got so inspired to, you know, hopefully plan a gals on the go live show soon and like do a tour, which we really, really want to do. Um, but yeah, that's where this vlog ends. I love you guys so much. Hope you enjoyed today. It was kind of all over the place, but I'm feeling better towards the end of the day. Do you guys care? Um, but yeah, tomorrow's the last day. So I'm in the city. Subscribe if you guys are new here. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.