"The Natural Hair Community Is Toxic" | BiancaReneeToday

The natural hair community is heavily divided and toxic. Why I finally broke up with the natural hair community. The natural hair movement has failed black women. There's a serious problem with representation even among the natural hair community. These are just a few of the headlines that I have found on my own in regards to how the natural hair community has become or can be seen as toxic. If you are new here, welcome. I'm Bianca Renee and you're watching Bianca Renee today and today's hairstyle is this little like band to braided knot crown while also rocking my curls. Let me show you exactly how I created this look and let's discuss this controversial topic. So where do we even begin? Let's start with just the definition of the word natural and that's what slightly stems some of the issues because everybody has their own definition. Some people define the natural hair community as a community of black or biracial women that rock and embrace their textured hair already. Some of you already pissed off because you aren't black of any sort, but you wear your hair curly, you have curly hair and you feel like you are also part of the natural hair community because you wear your textured hair. Then there's the naturals that are just like, I don't relax my hair. I don't straighten my hair. I wear it in its natural state. I don't use any chemicals. I don't even dye my hair. People have actually told me that I am no longer natural because I have highlights or like when I dyed my hair because it wasn't my natural born hair color, I was no longer natural and if I'm no longer natural, I mean some strict terms. I literally have a natural hair channel. Then there's the naturals probably like me that might still dye their hair, do highlights or something, but don't relax it. Don't straighten it. But then there's the naturals that might not use a relaxer anymore, but they still blow out their hair. They wear wigs and weaves, so they're not really damaging or manipulating their natural hair, so they're still natural. Then there's the naturals that always wear their hair in braids or twists or dreads and that's natural, but there's just so many definitions and depending on who you talk to, if you do one thing more than the other, they might just kick you out of the natural hair community and that sucks. Like this whole natural hair community was supposed to be such a positive thing. Like I feel like it started off with really good intentions and then we just kind of like got lost out of control somewhere and within all these articles, they all kind of touched on the same thing and there's definitely discrimination within hair types, hair textures and hair lengths. And we definitely see that specifically with the type four or even more specifically type four C hair representation in media and in marketing. You know, it'd be nice if we could just be like, Oh, you're wearing your hair as you want or as you were born with. That's it. But we put so many rules and regulations on if you're allowed to sit with us that people now don't want to wear their hair natural. And that's the part that really bugs me. Like I literally made my channel to encourage people to rock the natural hair they were born with. So it'd be a positive thing. But if people are getting bullied, that's not going to make them want to rock their hair even more than the detangling styling process. So then they're just out. So I don't like anything that makes people like not want to rock the beautiful natural hair they were born with. I really want you guys to join the conversation throughout this video. So leave your comments below and let me know how do you define the natural hair community is limited to just women with black hair is limited to just those that don't use relaxers. If you straighten your real hair, are you no longer natural? Like what rules apply to you? By the way, I'm starting off on freshly washed hair. I'm trying the Mitch lavish leave-in conditioner with aloe vera and avocado three in one leave-in conditioner that moisturizes, detangles and softens hair. It smells really good. It smells like a pink starburst. Honestly, I did break the pump, so I just kind of put it on there. But first I'm going to section my hair so we can start the bantu knots. Now aside from just the definition of natural, I put a little poll on my Instagram. If you are not following me, make sure you follow me at Ms. Bianca Renee so you always can join in on these conversations before we have them. And I asked you, do you think the natural hair community is toxic? And I got a pretty close, like maybe 40 to 50% ratio on my personal Instagram. And then I asked you, how do you feel judged by the curly hair community? And that's where I got a lot of interesting answers. I read that a lot of you feel judged or get judged by the type of products that you use, the amount or cost of the products that you use. You get judged for straightening your curly hair. You get judged for the length of your curly hair. You get judged for the type of your curly hair. I think that I could have, might have, do, play a part in what makes you feel judged. Raise your hand if you've ever felt personally victimized by Bianca Renee today. You guys know how I feel about avoiding certain ingredients. You know how I feel about straightening your hair. If you ever felt like, I don't know, like even I bully you. I just want to apologize now because I've, my intent is never to hurt your feelings or make you feel bad in any way. That's literally the opposite reason of me having this channel. I get so many DMs of people like sad that they've damaged their hair because they straighten it all the time. Or I get messages about people's like moms don't let them wear their curly hair or they want to but their job doesn't think it's work appropriate. Like that kind of stuff just really bugs me. I just don't like personally when you feel like you have to straighten your hair to look beautiful. You feel like your hair isn't beautiful for special occasions. It isn't pretty enough for work. If you feel like people will like you better if your hair is straight, that's what I don't like. That's why I discourage straightening your hair for those reasons and for the fact that you might get damaged. So if you're someone that used to straighten their hair all the time and you've had all the success in your journey and now your curls have looked better than they ever have and you want to straighten your hair because all of a sudden you don't feel confident in your curls because of something that someone said, then I'm like, Oh, I mean you can, but you've worked so hard to get them back and I just don't want you to damage them in any way. But if you're like, I just do it because I want to, I don't straighten my hair because someone is telling me to or because I don't love my curls. That's fine. It's your hair. The biggest problem is a lot of us, and I will say even including me, we care too much about other people's hairs. The only head of hair you actually need to worry about is the hair on your own head. But if you want to straighten your hair because you're bored, you want to switch it up, you like the look, go right ahead. It's your hair and you should not feel judged for wanting to do that. My only hope is that you straighten it because you want to, not because you feel like your curls aren't beautiful. I'm going to start off with this front section, which could have been a better part and I want to create a triangle. Ooh, I think I did it. I'm going to put each section away using a little black rubber band. Now according to you guys on my Instagram, some of you also feel like you get judged for the ingredients that you use. Another one that I will say I'm not innocent from, I probably do put a lot of pressure on you to use clean ingredients. But once again, even that is just a personal preference. I've said this literally a million times. If you use silicone and don't have any problems, your hair is still moisturized when you use sulfate, you don't get any buildup when you use silicone, then just keep using it. I only care if you're like, oh, my hair is so dry. Why? And I'm like, well, you could try what I recommend. And if that doesn't work, doesn't work. But if you don't have any problems when you straighten your hair, when you use silicone, when you use sulfate, then just use it. How would they know? Let's do two on each side. Some of you also said you feel judged by the natural hair community based on the type of products that you use. I had a comment where someone said, like, I really like using can too, but I feel judged. And I was like, why? And she said that the natural hair community is a mean place. And I was like, sheesh, like if it works for you, it doesn't work for someone else. And that literally has nothing to do with you. That's like their problem. So if you don't use high end products or products from Sephora or Ulta and you like your products from Walmart and Target, do you? It does not matter if it works for your hair. You know, I know that I review a lot of high end products and I'm trying to even review more drugstore for you guys, but I do not care about the price if it works. And on the flip side, some of you said you could judge for spending too much on your hair products. It looks like you can't win. So you might as well do what you want. Another common discriminatory thing within the natural hair community is curl types. I've never been a fan of curl types because we know how many different curl types there are in the world. So to divide them into three categories with basically six subcategories, it's just not enough. And it would have been fine if we just used it for basic information, but we started to use it to like make one hair type better than another. And I did see that in main media and marketing with branding and sponsorship, there definitely was a lean towards looser curl patterns. At one point it was like the wavy loose curls. Then like the type three, like my hair got popular. And to this day, we do see a little bit better representation of type four hair, but still not as much as we should be seeing. So then there's an issue with that. But discriminating for someone's hair type is just as ridiculous as discriminating for someone's skin tone because we literally were just born with that and we had no say in how we were going to look when we popped out of the womb. So some of you even said, you feel like you get messed for rocking your hair curly because it's wavy and like people that with wavy hair aren't curly enough to be considered curly. And with my hair, it's like, that's the hair that everybody wants. So then I sometimes can get hate from people with tighter curl patterns and it's just like, why are we hating on each other within the same curly wavy community? It's just unnecessary. Another issue that I see within the 4C community, which I've just been reading, if you actually have 4C hair, please chime in and leave your actual opinion below. Don't want to speak for a hair texture that I don't personally experience. But what I actually read was that even if you do try to rock your natural type 4 hair, all the tutorials and videos and like the pressure is to then make your type 4 hair look and appear looser. So you have a bunch of videos on like how to do twist outs and how to stretch your hair using heat. And it's just like, so you're rocking your type 4 hair, but you're kind of trying to manipulate it into not looking like type 4 hair because you try to make it looser and longer and not look like your actual curl type. I'm going to try this EcoStyle black castor and flaxseed oil maximum 10 hold for all hair types. I haven't used this before. So I found this quote that I want to read to you guys online that says, I think there's beauty in every texture. I think it's just learning to accept it and knowing what you can do to make it do what you want to do. I'm glad to help you learn how to take care of your hair, but I don't want you to be mad that it doesn't look like mine or like someone else's because that's literally just not, that's not the point. The point is to learn how to do your hair. Okay, I'm going to attempt a bantu knot. I haven't done this in a long time. Ooh, do I remember how to do this? I could also just do braids. This is not turning out cute. This is also easier and looks better with a tighter curl pattern. I believe my fine hair is too loosey goosey. Wow. Let's just do braids. So as I braid my hair, let me just read some of the many responses I got on Instagram asking why you feel like the natural hair community is toxic. Some people will measure blackness on how thick or curly your hair is. I have experienced that. Even being a mixed girl, not playing the victim at all. I know that that I have privileges to being mixed in many different ways, but at the same time, I'm also sometimes too black to be white and too white to be black. And I've had people tell me that I am not black because I'm mixed. And I would love for you to tell that to my very black daddy. It's just like an unnecessary discrimination within our own people. So I can, I can see that being a thing. Some folks are too judgmental. God forbid you ever straighten your hair. I can see that one. I can probably be part of that problem. So once again, I apologize if you want to straighten it because you want to. Fine. I just really hope that you're not doing it because you feel ugly with your natural hair. Too many rules, too many absolutes. Everyone's hair texture is different. So everyone's hair might need different things and you should be able to do what works best for your hair. I needed to put more hair. My hair is so fine. I can't even hold this little knot. It's so small. It's my way or else never open to trying new routines or products. Your way is wrong. Yeah. Once again, you should just do what works for your hair. Unfortunately those with looser curls are pushed in mainstream. Yep. We have seen that it is getting better. Fun little story. I was actually rejected for a campaign because my hair wasn't curly enough. And you know, part of me was like, I wasn't mad because you know we need more type four hair representation. So that's what this brand is doing. But it does just kind of make you go like, and it is weird to witness not getting something, not because you're not talented enough, not because you don't have the experience had nothing to do with my actual skillset, but would just because of the hair I was born with. And that is something that type four hair deals with all the time. I think there should be representation for all curl types, obviously all skin tones, all textures, all of that. But on the flip side, I also don't think we need to force brands to use all hair types if their products do not work on all hair types. I don't want you to lie to me and say all hair types, because if you put a bunch of type four hair models in your commercial and your products do not work for type four hair and then people with type four hair go out and get it, that's going to be more of a problem because now you're going to get canceled because your products quote unquote don't work. I think it's best to just be honest and better yet make a complete curl line that has a product that will work for all hair types, textures, porosity, and density. Now going back to the word natural, and I got a lot of comments from girls with wavy hair and this is where it can get a little tricky because I have a very large Hispanic or Dominican audience, Latina or even actually Indian where in your culture natural curly hair isn't accepted and your mom or your grandma or someone in your family always made you straighten it just like we've experienced in the black hair community. But to some people that's not considered natural hair and that's because that word was really coined for black hair because at one point we were forced or felt like we had to straighten our hair, relax it and that's what made it look presentable for work. So we literally needed another word to describe when we didn't relax our hair anymore and that's how like natural came about. Technically if you have straight hair and you wear it straight, that is your natural hair type. But that's just not something that you would say to somebody with straight hair like, Oh, you're going natural because you, your hair is straight. It's just like, no. But when your hair is straight and or maybe your hair is wavy and then you are like, Hmm, should I straighten it or wear it curly? I could see why you'd say like the opposite of straight is curly. It's either going to be straight or curly. You don't say, should I wear it straight or wavy? Like, I don't know. I just don't feel like that's what is said. Does your hair actually have a curl like a loop? No, but I'm not really gonna like correct somebody and be like, you should wear it wavy. Why do you care? That's the real question. People are attacking how you put in products. Once again, it shouldn't matter if you get the end results. It doesn't matter how you get there. How did we go from a time where we were being judged for wearing our curly hair to being judged within our own curly hair community? Well, I just wanted to apologize if I ever made you feel any of these feelings that you've expressed to me. Okay, we did the knots. Now let's do some edges. Okay, now we can go back to the rest of my hair. Ends are a little dry. For my gel, I'm also going to try the Mitch Sculpt Curl Defining Gel. I might've used this once. I don't really remember. I want to say this is the black owned brand. It's new, small smells like applesauce. Oh, look at that. It's like goopy. So why did I make this video? I just wanted you to maybe hear and realize like how ridiculous we all can sound by caring too much about someone else's hair routine and maybe even I need to do better. I am a sarcastic person so I will like, you know, joke about it, but I never want to hurt anyone's feelings. If I straighten my hair, you guys would literally execute me. I have no personal desire to straighten my hair, but I do like how I look with straight hair and I get a wig and I really like how my straight wigs look. But at the same time, if I straighten my hair, if I wanted to, there would be no doubt that you guys would know that I love my curls. You would know that I'm literally doing it just to switch it up. And do you have to love your curls? No, you don't have to change your curls to straight hair or your straight hair to curly hair, change your routine, change your products, change your hair length, anything to please someone else. Do what generally makes you happy and will make you confident. Now I'm going to diffuse this for the final look and I'm back and diffuse. I'm going to add a little bit of my curlsmith oil just to shine it up a little bit. I don't know if I'm like blown away, like run out to the store and get it now, but if you do care about the ingredients, they're all sulfate paraffin, silicone free. They smell good. You'd be supporting a small new company. Ooh, this oil though, is what you need to run out and get. I am going to add some jewels so you can see them. I got these off of Amazon. I'll link them in the description box. So you just open them like that, like so. Oh, that's cute. I'm going to use these more often. There we go. That really makes it stand out. Let's do a little accessory. These are from Santana. In conclusion, the natural hair community used to be a fun and welcoming place where we would cheer people on for starting to change that mindset of feeling like they had to relax their hair to feel beautiful, that they had to relax or straighten their hair to fit social norms, to be work appropriate, all that kind of stuff. It should be celebrated because it is beautiful in every texture, density, length, shape, curl type. So I really want us to all try collectively to get back to that and just supporting others, whether their routine is different than yours, whether they like different products than you, or whether they like to straighten their hair once every blue moon. I hope you're able to look at yourself and see where you may fall into those judgmental categories. For me, I could definitely say it's the straightening the hair and the ingredients. So I'm going to be more mindful on how I word things. I want them to be considered as suggestions for your betterment, for the healthiness of your hair, not to shame you in any way. So if you are doing any type of discrimination, whether it's curl typing or judging people for doing one thing or another, let's just stop. Let's all just stop and make this a more positive place. So more people will be excited about rocking their curls. If you enjoyed this video, make sure to give me a thumbs up and subscribe. I post new videos every week. I'm also trying to do a new hairstyle every Sunday. So make sure you follow me on Instagram, TikTok and Twitter at MsBeyonceRenee so you don't miss a video. Make sure to also leave a comment below. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. I know we get into some heated things and I've really been enjoying doing like the conversation plus hairstyle thing. Let me know if you like it as well. I'll see you guys next time. Thanks for watching Beyonce Renee today.