Is There a Deadly Infection On Board House s Flight House M.D. MD TV

Here you are, ribeye medium rare. Thank you. Some more pinot grigio? No, I think I will switch to the Syrah. Sir, are you all right? He's drunk. See? Does anyone speak Korean? Is anyone a doctor? Yes. Look at her. Is that guy really sick? No, he's all better. I don't believe you. Why? Because you're going to throw up and I don't want it on me. Give her a banana. Monkey see, monkey barf. You smell, vomit. Okay. Wasn't expecting that. I need help. Who doesn't? I need someone to talk to. Can you say, crikey, mate? Crikey, mate. Perfect. Now, no matter what I say, you agree with me, okay? Okay. Nicely done. You disagree with everything I say. Sorry, not understanding. That's close enough. And you get morally outraged at everything I say. That's permanent marker, you know. Wow. You guys are good. We are looking for the simplest way to explain these symptoms. Organophosphate poisoning. Some international flights spray pesticides. Could be. Sorry, English not so nice. Is this a joke? Just past the halfway mark. Can't turn around. Nice call. No worries. We think it's pesticide poisoning. We don't spray these flights. Dramamine overdose. Wouldn't explain the fever. Jet lag. Wouldn't explain the abdominal pain. Deep vein thrombosis. Wouldn't explain the nausea. Food poisoning. What was on the menu? Steak and sea bass in first class. Fettuccine and seafood kebabs in economy. Since when does food poisoning cause a rash? Sea bass, seafood kebabs? He had the sea bass. Please tell me she had the kebabs. I think so. Shiga-tera poisoning. It's an instant onset toxin. Symptoms include E, all of the above. It's only found in certain kinds of tropical game fish, such as... Sea bass? Make sure you get a resume from him. Hello? Excuse me. Ladies and gentlemen, I have a brief announcement concerning your meals. If you ate the sea bass or the seafood kebabs, you have ingested a dangerous toxin. However, if you proceed to the restrooms, both on your left and right at the rear of the plane, and vomit as soon as possible, the toxic effect should be minimal. Thank you. Thank you, and have a pleasant flight. Meningococcus makes just as much sense. I know. It's definitely ataxia. It's definitely a rash. You're gonna look at it for five more minutes before concluding it's also definitely a leg? A thin leg. It's been in a cast. So? So it could be radiation poisoning. From a broken leg? From the x-rays they took of it. He could break every bone in his body and still not have enough x-rays to cause radiation sickness. Unless those x-rays were performed in Wankhof, North Korea, by a third-grade dropout with a 50-year-old imager, which accounts for the absence of fur. Radiation poisoning accounts for all his symptoms. I have hair. I haven't had an x-ray since I got my teeth whitened. You're pregnant. I'm what? Explains the nausea, abdominal pains, fever, and why you're stuffing your 36C's into a 34B bra. And her rash? Pups. Common pregnancy rash. I can't be pregnant. You a virgin? No, but... You're pregnant. Mazel tov. Let's get him into the chair. Two different diagnoses. Thought you didn't believe in coincidences. I believe in statistics. 200 passengers on the plane. Ten should be gay. Two should be with child. And one should be incredibly annoying with an extra ass chromosome. House. Get him some iodized salt to protect his thyroid. I'm going back to work. House. You're wrong. Mom? A lot of apples. Not many candy bars. Any antibiotics? Three caps of Augmentin. For six patients. Give him to Pang. He's allergic to penicillin. The first aid kit has two EpiPens. If he has a severe reaction, ten EpiPens won't save him. You take the pills. He's worse. He's a guy. He doesn't speak English. Give him the meds. It's not meningitis. We're risking his life and flushing meds down the toilet. Do an LP on him. If it's clear, you win. If it's cloudy, he gets the Augmentin. And we risk a reaction. Sounds like a plan. Oh, except for the part where we don't have an LP needle. Oh, and the shaking of the plane means I'll probably pierce his spinal cord and cripple him for life. But, I mean, it totally sounds like a plan. You're right. Let him die. Give me the meds. What is it? Shut up. Don't get hysterical. Just tell me what the hell it is! House! We should have turned back. We should have turned back! House! Ladies and gentlemen, we have a passenger with a confirmed case of bacterial meningitis. If we land as soon as possible, the passenger will not survive. It's very likely that some of you have been affected as well. As soon as you start feeling symptoms, we need to isolate you in the first class cabin. Fever, rash, nausea, and in the late stages, tremor in the left hand. I have that. What do we do? Break out the bubbly. Yo, listen up! The bad news is, you have an illness. The good news is, it's not meningitis. It's not fatal, it's just embarrassing. It's a conversion disorder, more commonly known as mass hysteria. It happens often in high anxiety situations, especially to women. I know it sounds sexist, but science says you're weak and soft. What can I do? House, you're wrong. Look at my hand! Yeah, look at her hand. Shaking left hand. What is that a symptom of? Not meningitis. It's basically a symptom of nothing. Put the idea into their heads and watch it happen. Same thing that Pang cruelly did with the puking and the rash. The rash is in my head? Your mind controls your body. If it thinks you're sick, it makes you sick. If you'll all just calm down, your symptoms will soon go away. And to facilitate this process, your flight crew will move through the cabin with a complimentary bar service. Thank you, and as always, have a pleasant flight.