George Carlin – Germs, Viruses & the Immune System

Well, hi there. Once again, you're back here with old Barry and apologies going out because it's been a while since my last video, but we have had, uh, quite a, we have quite a few projects going on underway and it's just been keeping me busy. Anyway, uh, from my era going back, um, rest his soul. Uh, there's no arguing that one of the most talented comedians would be George Carlin, his diverse and decades ahead of his time subject matter for me is what made him one of the greats. Of course he had the whole package, the facial expressions, uh, the body movements, uh, he was a master of his profession. Many people don't know the other side of George Carlin, and I'm going to see if I can dig up some of my old stuff I saved because it is truly amazing. His poetic side, a man that had a vast range of, I'd say wisdom hands on, excuse me. But anyway, uh, this was sent to me and I think a lot of my subscribers are going to get a good kick out of it. It goes to show a shining armors, proof of why I always say nothing changes, but the technology and, uh, another really good video came from one of my subscribers that I'm going to be posting again, and it has to do with what news used to be compared to what we're getting today. And it's actually, uh, quite informative anyway. Uh, have a look at this and, uh, my goodness, what a, just brilliance in many ways, George Carlin. Anyway, enjoy and take a look at what we're going through now, and you'll see why nothing changes, but the technology, it's just one more way of reducing your liberty and reminding you that they can **** with you anytime they want, as long as you put up with it, as long as you put up with it, which means of course, anytime they want, because that's what Americans do. Now they're always willing to trade away a little of their freedom in exchange for the feeling, the illusion of security, what we have now is a completely neurotic population obsessed with security and safety and crime and drugs and cleanliness and hygiene and germs. There's another thing, germs, where did this sudden fear of germs come from in this country? Have you noticed this, the media constantly running stories about all the latest infections, salmonella, E. coli, hantavirus, bird flu, and, and Americans are, they panic easily. So now everybody's running around scrubbing this and spraying that and overcooking their food and repeatedly washing their hands, trying to avoid all contact with germs. It's ridiculous. And it goes to ridiculous lengths. In prisons, before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true, it's true, it's true, well, well, they don't want you to get an infection and you can see their point, wouldn't want some guy to go to hell and be sick, it would take a lot of the sportsmanship out of the whole execution. Fear of germs, why these ******* pussies, you can't even get a decent hamburger anymore, they cook their ---- out of everything now because everybody's afraid of food poisoning. Hey, where's your sense of adventure? Take a ******* chance, will you? You know how many people die in this country from food poisoning every year? 9,000, that's all, it's a minor risk. Take a ******* chance, bunch of goddamn pussies. Besides, what do you think you have an immune system for? It's for killing germs, but it needs practice. It needs germs to practice on. So, so listen, so listen, if you kill all the germs around you and live a completely sterile life, then when germs do come along, you're not going to be prepared and never mind ordinary germs, what are you going to do when some super virus comes along that turns your vital organs into liquid ----? I'll tell you what you're going to do, you're going to get sick, you're going to die and you're going to deserve it because you're ******* weak and you got a ******* weak immune system. All right, let me tell you a true story about immunization, OK? When I was a little boy in New York City in the 1940s, we swam in the Hudson River and it was filled with raw sewage, OK? We swam in raw sewage, you know, to cool off. And at that time, the big fear was polio. Thousands of kids died from polio every year. But you know something? In my neighborhood, no one ever got polio. No one ever. You know why? Because we swam in raw sewage. It strengthened our immune systems. The polio never had a prayer. We were tempered in raw ----. So, so personally, I never take any special precautions against germs. I don't shy away from people who sneeze and cough. I don't wipe off the telephone. I don't cover the toilet seat. And if I drop food on the floor, I pick it up and eat it. Even if I'm at a sidewalk cafe in Calcutta, the poor section on New Year's morning during a soccer riot. And you know something, in spite of all that so-called risky behavior, I never get infections. I don't get them. I don't get colds. I don't get flu. I don't get headaches. I don't get upset stomach. And you know why? Because I got a good, strong immune system and it gets a lot of practice. My immune system is equipped with the biological equivalent of fully automatic military assault rifles with night vision and laser scopes. And we have recently acquired phosphorus grenades, cluster bombs and anti-personnel fragmentation mines. So when my white blood cells are on patrol, reconnoitering my bloodstream, seeking out strangers and other undesirables, if they see any, any suspicious looking germs of any kind, they don't **** around. They whip out the weapons, they wax the ************. And deposit the unlucky fellow directly into my colon. Into my colon. There's no nonsense. There's no Miranda warning. There's none of that three strikes and you're out ----. First defense, bam, into the colon you go. And speaking of my colon, I want you to know I don't automatically wash my hands every time I go to the bathroom. Okay. Can you deal with that? Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't. You know, when I wash my hands, when I ---- on them, that's the only time. And you know how often that happens? Tops, tops, two, three times a week. Tops. Maybe a little more frequently over the holidays. You know what I mean? And I'll tell you something else, my well scrubbed friends, you don't always need a shower every day. Did you know that? It's overkill. Unless you work out or work outdoors, or for some reason come in intimate contact with huge amounts of filth and garbage every day, you don't always need a shower. All you really need to do is to wash the four key areas, armpits, asshole, crotch, and teeth. Got that? Armpits, asshole, crotch, and teeth. In fact, you can save yourself a whole lot of time if you simply use the same brush on all four areas. Thank you. Appreciate it. Thank you. All right. Well, Barry, we'll talk to you soon.