6 Minutes of Chat (After Jumping Off The Cantilever Rock)

Hi, I'm Brave Dave and I'm just out making a new intro video for my YouTube channel because the current one's a little bit out of date with me yelling about how great 2020 is going to be. Hmm, that didn't age well. Anyway, I thought I'd just address something because a week or so ago I was in Wales on the Glidders and I got a pic on the Cantilever Rock and I was thinking to myself, how can I do an original pose up here? Because there's like a million pics of the Cantilever Rock already. Most people just jump in the air on it, some people hang off the end. But I'm always thinking outside the box and I thought, hmm, I reckon nobody's ever taken a picture of them jumping off the end before. That'll be original. Always happy to be a world's first. But wait, it's several metres drop down onto solid rock from up there. Jumping off the end would be absolutely insane. I'd break both my legs. If only it was possible to look like I was jumping off the end without actually doing it. Hmm. And then it hit me, this brand new invention that hardly anyone's heard of called photo editing software. So I jumped in the air, went home, did five seconds of photo editing, put it on Instagram and Facebook with a funny caption implying that I jumped off the end and broken both my ankles. I mean, that is pretty funny. And then to make it even more ridiculous, I implied that being a major rescue operation to come get me. But because I got the pic that I wanted, it had all been worth it. I regret nothing. So I put it up. I thought this will get a few chuckles from my followers. Classic Brave Dave dry humour. I mean, how could it possibly be interpreted any other way? Unfortunately, even though it's really, really obviously a joke, I forgot this is the internet and on the internet, a lot of people believe the first thing that they see. Most people got it, but then a lot didn't. I mean, to the people who are concerned for me, I want to say thank you guys. I appreciate that, but you don't need to worry. I didn't actually cripple myself for an Instagram pic. I'm still very much in one piece, but then there were some others who not only believe that this completely absurd situation had actually happened based on one little pic and a caption, but they were absolutely furious about it. I mean, check some of these out. Hugh, you selfish arsehole. Mark, absolute tool. Nick, what a massive bellend you are, Dave. Blimey, that's a little bit harsh, maybe. I mean, let's remember that this is about me doing a bad Photoshop of me jumping off the end of the cantilever. Didn't kick a puppy or something. Tanya's extremely concerned. I hope you are making a considerable donation of a few thousand to cover the cost of your rescue, plus a tip being as it was totally avoidable. Don't worry, Tanya, I sure did donate several thousand pounds of imaginary money for the non-existent rescue. And this guy, Jamie, I can't figure out if this is a genuine post and someone could actually be that stupid or if he's just trolling. Benjamin, gotta be trolling. I'm more full of shit than all the port-a-johns outside a music festival. Thought it was quite funny. Dude says the chopper pilot did a loop the loop for him. Yeah, I said that in one of the replies. I said the helicopter pilot did a loop the loop for me. Gosh, I wonder Then Joss comes in. For some reason, I imagine Joss sounding like a robot. Jamie, he is just trolling for attention. I mean, just the visual of this Jamie guy sat there like did he do this or did he not? I just can't work it out. Well, come on, guys. There's also that elusive third option where I'm just making a joke on my social media. You know, jokes, people tell jokes to amuse others. Also, I'm not sure trolling is the right word, seeing as how it's my own post on my own Facebook page and it's clearly not serious, but whatever. And I think Ogwen Valley Mountain Rescue might have posted something on their page if they'd been called out to a rescue where a guy threw himself off the cantilever for Instagram and broke both his ankles. Might have been mentioned, but I guess this lot were too flustered and angry to check. I don't know. And it's not even a good Photoshop. Look, my foot's not in line with my shin. The drag tool didn't work properly. Public service announcement. You shouldn't believe everything you see on the Internet just because it comes with a picture and a caption. Apply critical thought. So I just wanted to clear that up because that picture got way more attention than I was expecting. Also, to address like the rabble, Hugh and the gang, I'm not saying they're thick as shit. I'm not saying that. I'm not even saying they're gullible, because that would imply that I was trying to trick people into thinking it was real when it clearly, clearly wasn't. What I will say, though, is you guys seem to have let your emotions get the better of you. You're displaying a lot of anger and aggression over something that's just utterly ridiculous and not even true. So what I think you need to do is just kind of, next time you're about to call someone names on the Internet, just try to breathe deeply for 10 seconds and think, do I need to do this? Is the thing I'm getting angry about even real? That's the important thing. Ask yourself that. I believe you can improve yourselves. All right, everybody, video's coming soon and there should be an awesome summer of mountain stuff. I can't wait for it. So see you all then. Nice to chat again. I've actually missed making videos, didn't realise until I started shouting at the camera again. So expect a lot more of it this summer, especially you, Hugh. Just remember, not everything you see online is true. All right. Cool. Anyway, my name's Brave Dave. And did I ever tell you about that time I base jumped off Mount Everest during the second coming of Christ? Mate, that was a mental day. Anyway, see you later. Bye.