10 Ways To Create A Great Atmosphere At Home with The Parenting Junkie

When you're home with young children, it can sometimes feel so overwhelming and stressful. There's messes, there's noise, there's nagging, whining, tantrums, all sorts of big emotions. There's maybe less sleep at night or just so much more caregiving than you would have if you were on your own. You're changing diapers, you're wiping up snotty noses and there's so much to take care of all of the time that you can end up feeling really overwhelmed and uncomfortable in your own home and just like this urgent need to escape. Hi, I'm Avital. I get it. I too am a mom and I work from home and I know how much it takes, how very much effort it takes to run a home well and to run your life well, take care of yourself and your little one or little ones. So today, I want to give you 10 ways to create a great atmosphere at home because it's my belief that if you are going to enjoy family life, create a family life that you love, that you feel great in, that is meaningful to you, then you should make it as pleasurable as possible. Not only will this make you the best version of yourself for your little ones, you'll have more patience, you'll have more energy and mojo, you'll have more positivity but it will just make your life more enjoyable for you as well. You'll be less edgy, you'll be less likely to want to escape, you'll be less likely to spiral into emotional downturns if you can take every possible step to make your day-to-day life, your time, your space something that really reflects pleasure, joy, beauty, fun, love, all of that good stuff for you. So thumbs up if you like this video and let me know if you want more like it. Let's get into the tips. Number one is plants, greenery. There is ample research to show that any kind of exposure to nature, right, be it actually going into the forest, hiking on a mountain, going to the desert or just having a plant, adding a plant to a room makes us feel happier, makes us feel calmer, improves the oxygen flow in the room and that kind of thing and in fact there's been research done in hospitals when patients had exposure to a window where they saw a tree or a plant and when patients saw just kind of a brick wall or industrial visuals through the window and there was a massive difference in their recovery time, post-op recovery time. Isn't that amazing? And you can get some plants that are very simple to take care of, that are really hard to kill. I don't have green thumbs. I wish I had got that from my grandma. She's so amazing with plants but I really don't. I kill them pretty quickly and so over the years I've learned to find the plants that I know how to take care of and that work well in my type of home and with the type of lighting and water etc that we have. Adding plants is timelessly chic. It looks great in any space, in any of your rooms, your bathroom, bedroom, dining room etc and it's also a really nice pop of color that isn't going to detract from any neutral tones that you have. It doesn't take away from the elegance of a space or the calmness of a space even though it might be bright greens or even bright reds or whatever you have in your plants. It can be that pop of color that doesn't look gowlish or extreme. Number two is to play music. Play the type of music that you love and really we all know this but music changes the atmosphere in the home very quickly and music just communicates with a part of us that is more subconscious. So if you play music that you loved when you were a teenager or music that is meaningful for you or meditation music, music that is soothing, it's going to change how you actually behave, how you feel. It can uplift you, it can get you excited, it can get you energetic, it can get you feeling more sensual, it can get you feeling calmer, it can remind you of your zen inner guru or of your of your crazy dance party animal. It doesn't matter which music it is, suit the music to the vibe that you want to create but realize that this is a really powerful non-verbal tool to change up the atmosphere and to enjoy your time at home. With little kids music can really calm them down or get them going. If it's time to tidy up you could put on music that's more beaty. The idea is just to use all these non-verbal cues to signal to ourselves to prime our brains in a subconscious way of what the atmosphere is, of what type of behavior we're trying to elicit here. The next one and we're going through our senses here is aroma and fragrance. Obviously another subconscious way that we communicate with the world is through scent. The scent that we have in the house can really lead it to be a pleasurable place or a place that we feel maybe even repulsed by. If you're just wiping poopy diapers all day and cleaning and doing the dishes and that kind of thing then it can feel sensually and through the fragrances and aromas that you're smelling it can feel abrasive or unpleasant or kind of repulsive like you need to escape. Instead if you really focus on creating an aroma in the house that is continuously enjoyable for you, pleasurable for you, that puts you in a good mood. This can be by lighting incense sticks, it can be by diffusing essential oils, it could be by wearing your own perfume or oils that feel good to you and that are healthy for you, it could be by baking and having delicious smells coming through the cooking that you're doing as well. But just make sure to think about the smells in the home especially because if you're spending the whole day with your children or just a chunk of time with your children you need to get your pleasures where you can, you need to make it enjoyable for you in the ways that you can, you need to uplift and elevate the vibe so you're not just feeling sucky. You know if you were treating other guests who are coming over or a friend you would want the house to smell good for them maybe you would air it out, you'd open the window, do the same for you and your children it can have a massive effect on your mood and on the vibe in the home. The next one is having clear surfaces and this one's a little bit more involved it really does involve some tidying up or decluttering but one of the things that visually signals order and signals peacefulness and helps us to feel relaxed is when we have smooth surfaces, clean surfaces so making sure that after every meal you clear off the table, making sure that after you cook you clean down the kitchen countertops, making sure that the tops of the dresses in your home, the tops of your bathroom cabinetry and any sink surfaces are clear and remain clear and only have on them those items that stay there like the soap dispenser or like a candle. Try and keep your surfaces as clear as possible and only having those things that are actually pleasing to you and this will show you that there is a sense of order in the home. If you go into a home and there is a dining room table stacked with books and stuff and that immediately sends us into stress it feels cluttered it feels overwhelming it feels like the space isn't being well cared for and even if that same amount of junk is shoved into a box or a basket or a drawer where it's out of sight and I know you can't necessarily get to all that mess right now but put it out of sight put it somewhere that is covered so that you can see the clear surfaces and feel a little better. Now of course ideally you're actually going to go through the stuff and not have cluttered drawers but at least have the clear surfaces for yourself at this point. Committing to keeping your surfaces clean is also going to keep you continuously tidying up and taking care of your space so that you feel good in it. It's a signal to yourself right again symbolic that it's worth it that you care kind of like if guests were coming over you would likely clean up a little bit you would likely make sure that there isn't laundry all over the couch or that there aren't books all over the floor or that the shoes are actually in a neat row and just keeping things a little bit more orderly for yourself is going to make your time with your children more pleasurable and I know that means a lot of upkeep like constantly clearing surfaces but first of all get your children used to doing that as well. My children are told repeatedly to clear their own plates right or to put their own coats back in the cupboard or to take their books back and put them on their shelf when they're done and even if I have to call them back and say hey you forgot this I'll do that every single day because it's worthwhile investment for me long term that this is something that our home always needs to be taken care of and our surfaces need to be kept clean so if one of my kids keeps putting toys on the kitchen counter I will tell them this is not the place for it go and put it in the correct place. Even if they're clearing their plates put them in the sink so that the surface stays clear right just really trying to teach them and teach ourselves to maintain the space in a way that feels great. The next one is to use affirming words, words of affirmation, words that reflect your values and any kind of words that just make you feel good right. We are psychological creatures and we have subconscious primers that influence our behavior so if you put up a word in a room that makes you feel stressed like if you put up a word that says let's say hustle right or something like that then actually it's constantly reminding you of that vibe of that energy of whatever that word says and if you put up a word that reflects your values for example that reflects what you're aspiring to that reflects something that brings you good energy then that is what's being primed in your brain constantly and it actually reminds you of that goal and so you want to use your psychology to benefit you and having words up that actually help guide you towards the things that you are trying to embody right for example in my present play membership our core values are presence peace and play and so I have those words up in an art form you could do this printed on a canvas or by letters and words can also goalpost what that area is for right like if it's for play or if it's for family or if it's for food that can be a just a fun way of using typography to goalpost and signal and remind you of your goals so for example I really have a goal of reading to my children every day and so I love that I have my read sign up in that area because it reminds me that reading is something that I want to continuously do so use words to prime you psychologically in creating a space that reflects your goals and values the next one is to have family photos on display or any art that you find aspirational and beautiful of course but there is something so powerful about seeing family photos of you guys at your best right or at your funniest or at your greatest moments you could have a digital photo frame that rotates photos you could display your family albums in a way that shows showcases them you could actually frame and hang up a gallery of family photos but there's something about family photos that helps us to really consider the the blissful moments the beautiful moments the high vibe moments those special memories special people perhaps people that we can't always see and bring them to the forefront of our awareness and actually create kind of like a branding for your family kind of like a lookbook or something that reminds you of who you guys are and why you're together and what you're doing and what the highlight reel is of your life and it could be you know professional photos or just any day you know off the phone photos but the idea is just to relive and really kind of storytell right really create memories by telling the story of your family telling the story of the special events special occasions special trips or mundane day-to-day jokes that you've told um through visuals that remind you of all of your highest dreams goals and aspirations my next tip for creating a great atmosphere at home with little kids is to opt for more neutral colors there are so many color theories out there and there's a lot of science behind it but a lot of people go for very bright primary colors or for just powerful colors and honestly of course like all of these tips it's all about your own taste and it's your decor and you should make it work for you if you are so happy in a room full of sunshine yellow then go for it but most people respond with a little bit of a heightened sense of nervous system you know alert at too powerful colors strong colors like red and yellow are typically signals of something dangerous both in our culture like you know traffic signs for example um but also in nature they can sometimes signal something poisonous or or you know don't eat me that kind of thing and they can put us and certainly our children on higher alert i find it really tragic that most children's toys are in the brightest of colors because it doesn't help them calm down and focus and play deeply it actually can be you know we think it just attracts them and children love bright colors but it's not uh in my opinion the best design for kids and i think if you want to create a good atmosphere at home you want the type of atmosphere at home that you're in a place that soothes you that calms you that feels pampering to you that feels um really uh like a place where you can relax and you can be yourself and it's hard to relax in a bright you know place right and that includes colors and so i would just consider opting for neutral colors and then if you want that pop of color like i said you can do it through plants you can do it through pieces of art or pictures or towels or just accents that then can be switched out the next one is lighting and lighting is similar to colors in that it really influences our visual experience and if you have bright lights fluorescent lights led lights that are bluish and those are going to create a very specific type of environment it's one of the reasons that why basement playrooms are often not the best environment for kids to play in or for you to hang out in we're not drawn to that kind of artificial lighting and all of us prefer natural light naturally that's usually what humans feel best in and it also has a lot of research backed up showing the connection between natural light and feeling better and fluorescent light for example increases depression which is why it's so sad that all the schools are all fluorescent lights um so just consider as much as possible for example removing dressings from windows like overly dressed windows that are constantly shading the lights there and have as much light come in from nature from the windows as possible um be in spaces in your home that have as much light as possible as much of the time as possible and be outdoors as well um but then when you do have lighting just really consider making that lighting uh lighting that's warm that's bright perhaps but that's warm and then think about how lights affect you especially going into sleep so going into sleep you really want to avoid things like blue lights lights from screens you can get screen blockers um that will make them more yellow toned so that they don't disrupt your melatonin and make it harder for you and your children to fall asleep you can get night lights you can use himalayan salt lamps or any kind of lights that feel warmer and calmer the next one is beautiful objects and i know this sounds a little bit obvious you're trying to make an atmosphere at home you would want beautiful objects but i think many of us just kind of succumb to such a utilitarian approach when we have kids just being super functional and not thinking about beautifying our spaces and i think if you want an atmosphere at home even with young children that feels good to you think about the things that you're using and they don't have to be expensive and you don't have to go out and buy them in fact maybe decluttering is the thing you need to do take out the things that are ugly or that are offensive to you or that don't feel beautiful to you so beautiful things can be just sticks that you collect in the forest or stones or a bouquet of leaves or anything um or they can be photos that you love art that you love crystals that you like um any any shelves or bowls or kitchen utensils or anything that you're using try and choose things even when they're very very cheap or secondhand try and choose things that look beautiful to you oftentimes when people have kids they suddenly accept all the stuff in their house right like these bright baby swings or crazy toys and a lot of it and all sorts of kitchen utensils that are very um i don't know plastic and overwhelming and overly done and i think it's important to realize that you're creating an atmosphere in your home with the items in it so of course we all have some stuff um but you can really be choosy you can really decide no i don't want that in my space and it doesn't mean you have to spend a lot more money in fact probably spend less by buying less and having less um but really consider that each thing each thing that you have up in your home a hook right a bowl whatever it is could be something that brings you joy and pleasure could be something that you enjoy putting together and could be something that actually makes you feel like i want to escape i want to run away so if you're making a salad or making oatmeal putting it in just a simple but nice looking bowl that you enjoy rather than something that you don't enjoy makes a difference to that moment and think about the moment to moment experience with your children you're trying to set an atmosphere put things around you right all of all of the tips are about putting things around you that feel good to you and that make it enjoyable just really pleasurable for you so what are some beautiful objects often we hide them behind cupboards often we save them for best and i want to say that makes sense because maybe they're breakable maybe the kids you know aren't going to treat them well but maybe there's a way of bringing them out on a shelf or teaching your kids to respect them or whatever it is or just using them for yourself in the evening think about using good things that you have or repurposing things that you like or creating little ritualistic corners right like a tray with some candles on it or whatever in accordance to your taste in accordance to your budget and probably things that you already have in your home shop in your home and set up spaces that feel beautiful to you or that display something that makes you smile reminds you of something that you care about and brings up a fond memory reminds you of your intentions that type of thing i know that there's this idea that we'll wait till the kids get older and then we'll replace everything and then we'll clean up but you could have kid-friendly things that you that are that you can still enjoy even now and finally i want to talk about comfortable pieces in your home so one of the things that sometimes we we save on or sometimes we don't consider is really trying to make our bodies as comfortable as possible in our home and that might sound a little bit funny because what does that even mean but i'll give you an example is that i was breastfeeding in my bed and i was sitting up and i was just putting my pillow behind me and it wasn't enough back support and i wasn't feeling very comfortable that way and i decided to get a proper bolster for my back and it made the whole difference like it made me getting in bed and nursing feel so much better so much more comfortable so much more fluid and it was so worth the investment alternatively you might have furniture that you hate sitting on that you're not comfortable in maybe your office chair or a stool that you use or whatever it is doesn't work for you if you think about it this is a space you're spending your time this is a space you're with your kids how can you make it more comfortable maybe you need more shelves maybe you need more hooks maybe you need another storage case so recently i added a whole bunch of shelves to my bathroom so that i could clear the surface right and not have anything on the surface and have all my makeup and creams and brushes and all that stuff in shelves to the side and we didn't have a lot of storage so we actually really needed it we're a bunch of people who use this bathroom and we needed more storage and it was so cheap we did it ourselves and it made all the difference in the world to that space right another example is that we didn't have enough hooks right the kids all put their coats up and our coat cupboard was overflowing so we hang up a few more hooks there right another example might be that we had towel hooks that our children couldn't reach so we put up new towel hooks lower down where each child can put that towel back and that just saves me having to put that towels back for them it teaches them that independence so what are those things maybe you want to get a squatty potty for your toilet or maybe you want to get a yoga ball for your office chair these are all things that you can get relatively inexpensively or even secondhand invest in feeling good in your home invest in making it work for you right if you're noticing that there's a pile up of laundry always by the kitchen then put a laundry basket there one that looks nice to you right if you're noticing that there's a pile up of shoes by the front door then put a shoe rack there or somewhere that you can contain the shoes so that there isn't that pile up right make your home comfortable for you and because the comfort the physical comfort the physical functionality is going to increase your sense of pleasure at home increase your joy decrease your overwhelm and make just a great atmosphere being in a space that really supports you and that really makes sense for you all right so these would be my tips for creating a great atmosphere in the house i would love to hear your tips and if you found this video useful give it a thumbs up and don't forget to subscribe i'll see you in my next video