This German Tesla Rival Is A ROCKET! // 2022 Mercedes EQS 580 Review

Spaceship-y. Oh, God. Hello, people on the internet. To your favorite both under and overdressed at the same time non-scientist wearing a lab coat, Sarah here with a spaceship review. Today, I have the 2022 Mercedes-Benz EQS 580 4MATIC. This evil Hamburglar from the future getaway looking car is the most advanced electric vehicle I have ever driven. So, without further ado, let's get it up in the air, nerd out over the tech specs, and hope it doesn't make my lift tip over because this thing's heavy. Oh. This is wild. I think we'll go down the fairway nice and smooth. What is that? Octong. Do not touch. Look at the size of that. Whoa. The aluminum subframe's got some ASMR goodies on the side. Where is it? Wanna touch it? Oh, yeah, that's satisfying. Oh, I wanna take this thing apart so bad. I can't take it apart. It's not mine. It's verboten. I've never seen underbody plastic like this, like you'd have up front under an engine of a car, except because it's electric, dual motor. It's in the rear. You can take it off. I really wanna take it off. The plastic. It's hard to see anything because all the aero cladding underneath here, but this has a multi-link rear suspension with rear wheel steering and airmatic air suspension, hence the airbags back here, because the car weighs 5,888 pounds, or this many kilograms. I'm good at math. Anyway, the system is capable of lowering the car when it exceeds speeds of 120 kilometers per hour, and then if you drop below 80 kilometers per hour, it'll automatically raise the vehicle back up, which aids in fuel efficiency and overall performance at speed. It's pretty sophisticated. Also, you'll see it does have rear tie rods right here, and that's for the all wheel steering system that gives you 10 degrees of steering with these rear wheels. That right there is the reason why this car weighs almost 6,000 pounds. That giant black felt covered square you see is 107.8 kilowatt hour battery pack. If you got ran over by this car, not only would you get squished, you'd get rug burn. It's actually really durable, high quality. This is the easiest car I have ever racked on a lift before in my entire life. You would think at close glance, this would be a dangerous place to put a jack because this is the plastic side skirt, but these little hard resin plastic jack pads are connected to the metal frame right here by the pinch weld. It's actually really nice design, easy to access. Holy ----. That is a big ******* break. Look at the size of that caliper. That's incredible. This is a 21 inch wheel. Look how big it is. The front of this thing is built like a HD truck. It's a dual wishbone configuration. It's all aluminum. Dual ball joints right here on the bottom, actually triple if you count the tie rod, but look at the size of them. And they got the weird triple square looking nut. Look at that. I gotta measure it. That is so crazy. I'd love to work on this thing. It just, it looks fun because everything is just interesting. It's different. Oh man, it's a 36 millimeter front anti sway bar. Holy ----. The axles are 33.98, 34 millimeter axles. Vroom, vroom, vroom. It's time for the braking test. No one behind me. Let's make some electricity. Go. Ooh, ooh, it just grappled my tits. Oh, that was an experience. That braking was accomplished with an enormous set of 15.3 inch front rotors or 388.6 millimeters. I Googled it. With a six pot monoblock caliper. And the wheels though, the centerpiece of this car, these 21 by nine and a half AMG aero disc looking wheels. I love these. It's gloss black with machine face. They would look fire in a different color, I think. But this ring right here, I'm just, oh, I love these wheels. Love them. It's wrapped in a 26540 Goodyear Eagle F1 Mo. It says Mo. It says Goodyear Eagle F1 Mo. Someone likes the Simpsons. I like the Simpsons. Out back, you have a set of 14.9 inch rotors. Still absolutely enormous. And a big single pot caliper. It's a big single pot. Also the wheels, they're square stance in the rear. Same size as up front. In the name of science, I am now going to give this thing the beans. In the center island thing, there is a little platelet, touch platelet. It says dynamic. You can touch that in on the screen in front of you. It'll say E for eco, C for comfort, S for sport, and it makes spaceship noises. Within individual, it shows on your screen a picture of an engine. You should put a picture of an electric motor. Suspension, steering, your ESP, traction control, and oh, that sounds. Sounds. I was like, what is that last picture? And also, I'm gonna press the little car picture that brings up another menu, and then I can select ESP, and I can actually defeat the traction control in this. I like that when electric cars let you turn off traction control. All right, ready? Go. Oh, jeez. Oh my God. Spaceship noises, that's good. Oh, that made me feel weird. I'm glad it's got a pillow on the headrest because I was buried in that thing. Where are hood popper? Oh, jeez. Wait, how the **** do you open the hood on this car? Hey, Mercedes. Please log in with your profile. I'm waiting. How may I help you? How do you open the hood? The hood may only be opened by a specialist workshop. What kind of ******* stupid ---- is that? Well, I am a specialist workshop. I bet you anything. Specialist workshop. Thankfully, I am a specialist workshop. For obvious reasons, this is verboten from Mercedes, so I am not going to show you what I just did in there. That's a kind of heavy hood. Hood prop, hood prop. I've been criticizing cars lately for not painting the underside of the hood, but for a vehicle that is not designed to be opened, you get a pass, Mercedes, I guess. Under the hood-ish of the EQS 580 is one of two permanent excited synchronous electric motors, and synchronous meaning that it turns the rotor at the same rate as the magnetic field of the stator. They're in sync, synchronous. Justin Timberlake. Those two motors combined are capable of producing 516 horsepower and 631 pound feet of torque available at zero RPM. That's hilarious. There's a label right here that tells you to look inside your owner's manual on the side of the coolant expansion tank, but you're not supposed to be under here to begin with, so why would you see that? Same thing over here on this side. Look at that. There's actually a little positive terminal underneath here. That's interesting. The way this cooling system functions for the electric motors is there is a water lance inside the rotor shaft to help cool it from the inside out, kind of like how you have blood vessels and stuff. That's really gross. I hate medical things. This is wild. Okay, so you definitely have some heat exchangers right here for the cooling system in the front of the car, but if you keep going back right here, that is a massive filter. You can pop this off. I wonder if that's for the cabin filtration system, because look how big it is. There's no way. That is, oh, this is so cool. I would love to just like start taking stuff apart. I can't though. I've already opened the hood. That's enough. This thing doesn't really have a front fender. Your hood is your front fender because you got bumper cover, and then I guess that's kind of a front fender with a little annoying panel to confuse people. This right here is for when you first purchased the car. So you sit here and you press the sides of it repeatedly for about 10 minutes until you realize it's not where you charge it. In contrast to the front electric motor, the rear is actually a six phase unit. It has two sets of windings with three phases each. So it's a little more potent than what you got up front here. Now this doesn't have a transmission like you would associate with an internal combustion engine. Each electric motor has its own integrated gearbox. It's a single speed transmission, I guess you could say. And it does have oil within that has a cooler up front here that can be used for cooling and lubrication as well as warming in cold weather conditions. Before we begin, I must give credit where it is due. These seats, see that pillow right there? It's heavenly having your head on that while you're driving. And with this being a comfortable seat, full steering is exceptional for being a comfy seat. It's heated, it's ventilated, it massages, it touches you in all the right places. This doesn't get much better than that. The one thing I have to say though is the carpets in here are white. The back carpet is white. The floor mats thankfully are a taupe color, but you better have a cleaner to keep your car clean for you. Obviously, if you're getting a four car like this. All right, let's begin. I'm going to put this car into individual because I have everything in sport except for the suspension, which is in comfort. So it's bougie, but I get the spaceship sounds. And we're off. Oh, geez. The sound is so crazy. I love the sounds in this thing. I don't even know if the camera is going to do justice of what it feels like in here because the 3D effect of that spaceship warp drive when you take off. I don't even know where to start with this car. This is like nothing I've ever experienced in my life. The closest I've ever experienced tech wise was probably the Volkswagen ID4. That was pretty spaceshipy, but this just blows that out of the water. This, don't put it in water, it's electric. It might zap you. How does it go around a corner? It's a heavy car. You can't even tell this thing weighs more than a big SUV. This is ridiculous. This is just like, try to get an internal combustion engine vehicle to handle like this at this mass. This just defies everything I know about a car. Spaceshipy. Oh, God. Brake. Oh, this thing will make you puke. Now, just like the S-Class I reviewed recently, this does have the little rolling ball out on your heads up display to let you know how you're driving if you're driving smooth enough. It's in my face. Oh, it's going far away. It makes weird regeneration noises when you hit the brakes, like a reverse warp drive. Having your entire dashboard is a giant gauge is a complete mind ****. I love this. I would imagine it would be incredibly expensive if you ever broke it, but I don't care. This is a game changer and I want all cars to have gauges like this that just take up everything. I, so sick looking. Also, it does have the ambient lights all throughout the interior, just like the S-Class, but this one, they go with the pulsations of electricity. So as you accelerate, you can see waves going in the colors. And then when you brake, you can see regeneration colors. And if you floor it, it gets red and angry. You have no idea what that does to your body when you floor it like that. It looks dramatic on camera. It's more dramatic in real life. In terms of the feeling you get being in this car and driving this car, when you look at the price, I think it's undervalued. It's so next level of driving and just being in this car. In the comfort mode, it just kind of floats and glides along. Super comfortable. And if I didn't have the spaceship sounds on, it would be silent in here. Efficiency-wise, it doesn't make much sense to me to rate an electric car in miles per gallon E because it's not fuel. There's no gallon of nothingness. So here's one that makes a little more sense. I've got 60% of the battery life left and 181 miles left to go. I seen this get over 320 when it was fully charged. And it tells you how to maximize your efficiency by configuring some different settings in here. Consumption, there's some fun stuff. Watts per mile, the way it should be assessed. These little flappy paddles have nothing to do with gear changes and everything to do with your recuperation cycle for your battery regeneration on braking. The screen in front of the passenger has some futuristic looking car and they can control it and change things over there too. And this has smell getting pumped through the air vents, through a little cologne dish inside the glove box. If you've never seen one of my vehicle reviews before, I have multiple categories on a one to five scale to assess them. Starting with the bean score. It is assessment of the feeling you get behind your belly button when you give it the beans. And this Equus 580 4Matic is getting a rating of 3.2 e-beans. Electrification skews the score a little bit because to give you an idea what it felt like to drive this, I was actually able to make myself slightly nauseous a couple of times from constantly flooring it. So it's fast, but the torque is just immense in this car. Next is the cookie score. It's assessment on a one to five scale based on what you get for what you spend. And this Equus 580 4Matic at just over $130,000 is getting a rating of 3.9 cookies. I think there is excellent value here, especially when you take in consideration the S580 I recently reviewed. There's a link up above my head to that video if you want to check it out. For this being just over 130 grand, the tech is above and beyond anything I could expect. There's stuff in here I didn't even know existed. And riding on the inside, it really does stand apart from all the other big body luxury sedans. Next is the mechanic score. It's assessment of how much of a pain in the ass it would be to work on, on a one to five scale. Five being really easy, one being abysmal. And this right here is getting a rating of two and a half wrenches. It's right in the middle because of the fact that it is an electric vehicle. And if you understand the principles of engineering and how an electric car is constructed, I think there is some simplicity there that would make this a little bit easier than an internal combustion engine vehicle to work on. But you really got to understand electric cars and know what you're doing to work on it. Other than that, because it is in a Mercedes and it's full of tech and features that may date slowly as technology advances, that's going to prohibit the score from getting any better than it is. Lastly though, is the penguin score. It's how much I like the car on a one to five scale. And the Equus 580 is getting a rating of four penguins. The technology in this car is what won me over. There's just so much innovation and weird things that I didn't even know existed yet. But yeah, I think this is the right track for Mercedes if they're going away from internal combustion engines because this thing's fantastic to drive. So I'll see you guys soon with another video, bye. The phone holder.