【感情Q&A】公開另一半！和外國男友竟因台灣而相遇🇹🇼 如何知道他是對的人？婚後住美國嗎？(Eng)

Hi everyone, I'm Judy. How are you all doing? Today, I'm going to record a Q&A session on my relationship. I asked everyone on Instagram, to see if you're curious about anything related to my personal relationship. In this Q&A, I promised to answer all of your questions, So I've compiled all the questions, around 120 in total. There was a quite a few that were repeated, so the final list came down to about 40. I'll divide them into four parts. The first part is about my significant other. The second part is about how we met and our relationship. The third is about proposals and marriage. The last part is about my own feelings and experiences. Let's start with the first part. The first question: Is your husband Taiwanese? Nope, he is not Taiwanese He is Chinese Canadian which is to say he looks Asian, but he was born and raised in Canada. And he only has Canadian citizenship. His mom grew up in Beijing and his dad grew up in Brunei. They both moved to Canada at different times, fell in love, got married, and had children. So their entire family lives in Canada now. If you've seen my previous Instagram Q&A, I mentioned his mom is from Guangdong and his dad is Malaysian. But I later found out that his grandparents were from Malaysia and Guangdong. Anyway, he's Chinese Canadian and speaks both English and Chinese. Will your husband show his face? Will you show your face? I'm okay I'd rather be behind the scenes He's pretty shy, so he'll probably just talk and not show his face. What does your partner do? He studied Civil Engineering at school so he has a civil engineering background But there are a lot of disciplines within civil engineering He specializes in transportation planning So after he graduated, he became a transportation engineer. He started working in this field right after university. Now in the United States, he's a senior safety consultant at a transportation tech company. I can put it that way right? What's your title? Yeah, the title is Senior Manager for Safety Policy. Is your husband also a remote worker? Can you both travel to other countries while working and traveling at the same time? Yup! He's like me, we are both fully remote. Which means that we're together for 24 hours 7 days a week. This is what I think is the best part of our jobs, because it gives us a lot of time to spend together. Besides, we can also work while traveling. This is something we both love. This year we visited four to five cities working while traveling. Next year we might pick a few more cities to do this. The last question in this section is What is your partner's personality like? Is your husband chauvinistic? His personality, I think, is completely the opposite of chauvinistic. He's more of the warm-hearted type. At first glance, you might think he's introverted and doesn't talk much, honest and down-to-earth. But as you get to know him, you'll find he's quite funny. A nerdy guy with a sense of humor. I really love his personality. He's very responsible. For instance, in the family, he feels that a brother should do certain things, a son should do certain things. He takes good care of his family. Even back in school, he graduated from university with straight A's. I never cared about grades. For me, it was more important to just graduate. But he felt that if he was going to study anways, he might as well do it well. The same with his work. With where he's at, he was one of the youngest to be promoted. Everyone under him is older. And he's very emotionally stable, very patient, and very persevering. I really admire these qualities. He also has typical Taurus traits, like being stubborn. He's also a bit more cautious and conservative. Honestly, his personality is quite different from mine. He's more reserved, I'm more outgoing. We have complementary personalities. Next is about how we met and starting dating. How did you initially meet and start dating? Who made the first move? We first met through a dating app I've mentioned this before. But we really started talking because of a beautiful misunderstanding. And this misunderstanding had a lot to do with Taiwan. Initially, when I used the dating app, I only wanted to meet Taiwanese people. Then one day, I saw my other half's profile. His profile seemed nice, so I continued to scroll and I saw a photo of him at Taipei 101. I thought he was Taiwanese So I added him. We chatted for about two or three hours. And we quickly exchanged Instagram accounts. We kept messaging on there. At first I thought maybe we could meet up if we had the chance However, we ended up seeing each other within a week After we met, I don't know if by saying this you will think I'm crazy, but actually, After our first date, I just felt that he'll like me for sure. she's not wrong And I thought he was quite cute. There wasn't really a pursuit between us. A month after we met, he confessed his feelings to me, and then we started dating. How many ex-partners did each of you have before? How many exes did you have? One. How long were you together? Just under two years. For me, five ex-partners. But technically, to be honest, I think I only had three. Two of them lasted just two or three months and didn't really work out. So I feel like if I have to count, fine, five. But technically just three. They were almost three years, two years, and just over a year. What do you admire most about each other? The trait I admire most in him is his simplicity. Being with him, you can let down your guard. It's very comforting and stable. It's great to be able to tell him everything. He has a kind and simple way of looking at things. So a lot of things end up being simpler with him. It's hard for me to pick just one so I'm gonna say two. I have two. The first one, and a bigger one, You have a really special ability to connect with people. and you're just super fun to be around with. The second thing that I also admire about you is You really don't have any sort of secrets or thoughts to yourself. It doesn't matter if you're happy, or worried about something, You always let me know. and I appreciate it. because it means there's no guessing involved. What I'm thinking What I did or what I'm about to do I will tell you all of this directly Do you have different values? How do you compromise with each other? I feel like our values aren't very different. Because if our perspectives were very different, we wouldn't have gotten together in the first place. This is something both of us value a lot. How long was the adjustment period in your life together? How do you divide household chores? He's a guy who likes to cook, so I'm very happy. Many times, I might be busy, and he's the one who cooks most of the time. He's very willing to do the cleaning tasks I don't like. Until now, he hasn't let me take out the trash. Actually, I prefer cleaning the toilet. And I like organizing the closet where I'll arrange my clothes by white, grey, black and by all the different colors of a rainbow When it comes to household chores, it's not really like "You do this, I do that." Some things he'll do, some I'll do The only notable difference is he's an early to bed, early to rise type. He goes for a 10k run before brunch. And I'm a night owl. I get weird ideas for videos or how to edit them at night. It's really weird because I'll get an idea at night "ding" and then I sleep late In terms of lifestyle habits, I think it's better that he's early to bed and early to rise, so I'll make adjustments. And I'll adapt to that. So, we're both willing to compromise. How do you maintain the passion in your relationship on a daily basis? I think life should have a sense of ceremony. Every month on our anniversary, we do something special. Sometimes he surprises me, like buying tickets to Jimmy O Yang's show. He gave me a surprise, and we went to watch the comedy show. Or, I might suddenly say, "Hey, I actually made plans for us to go golfing Because it's something he really enjoys doing. Besides that, I was very surprised. After doing YouTube together, it actually added a lot to our relationship. During busier times, he helps me with background music, English subtitles, and comes up with ideas for projects. Ideas for videos. So, we talk a lot about things related to this. And after we release a video, we feel really happy. This joy is something we share together. How do you maintain your personal space? I just tell him that I need my own space, and I want some personal time. But I think, you have to communicate this in a way that the other person can accept. When I need my own space, do you know what I say? "I want to play by myself." Haha, yeah. Right now, I just want to watch this movie by myself, and I don't want to share it. I want to immerse myself in this movie. But if he comes to me and says, "I can watch it with you," I'll say, "I want to play by myself for now. After I'm done, I can play with you." And he'll say, "Oh, okay, sure." Then he goes and does his own thing. Being cute is a way he can accept. So, I use cuteness to tell him that I really like him. I'll tell him directly how much time I need for myself. Sometimes he'll say, "Give me two hours," or "Give me three hours." During that time, I'll do other things. How do you make up after an argument? Our ways of making up are a bit different, but basically, it's about understanding what the other person needs. For him, I start to act cute and he'll say "okayyyy" so it works on him. I think my takeaway is you can't just apologize, you also need to explain why you were wrong, and then you get bubble tea or food that she likes. He'll buy a milk tea, and then I'll be very happy. The key to making up after an argument is understanding the other person's point of view. It makes things much easier. What is the mode of interaction between the two of you in your relationship? In our relationship, I'm more like the one who gives orders because my head is full of ideas. I'll say, "Hey, let's go eat this," "Take us to that place," "Let's try this," He might not have that many ideas, but when you give him an idea, he'll find a way to make it happen. We complement each other perfectly. We once filmed a Tesla camping video, and I threw out an idea to spend the night on a Tesla. He thought, "How can we make this happen?" So, he found a camping site, ordered the necessary props, and we made that episode. This is somewhat related to our work. In my job, I'm in the strategy field, and he has an engineering background. I want to get from point A to point B, and I think about the fastest and best way to get there. It impossible for him to come up with ideas but if you ask me to think of the best or fastest solutions, he's often better than me. so our way of being together is very complementary. The final question is, How would you describe your method of effective communication with your significant other? That's such a good question. The area where we need the most adjustment is communication. I love talking, and my way of expressing is very open, I want to talk about everything directly and openly. His way is more reserved. His personality is a bit slower, he likes to think things through more, Besides, even though we usually speak both Chinese and English, when we speak Chinese, sometimes we forget that we actually have cultural differences His Chinese isn't the same as that of a Taiwanese, and there are many Chinese words he's not familiar with. We once went to a restaurant to eat, and this was when we had just met. We sat down, and he said it's hot and I was like who's hot turn out he was trying to say that the dish is hot really hot which made me realize that sometimes the Chinese he says or the things I say he won't fully understand so with cultural and communication differences will make him not want to talk or talk slowly So the biggest change that I made was that I let him speak first. I might introduce a topic, but I'll pause and say, What do you think? Then, I wait for him to speak. It helps us understand each other's communication styles clearly, and we come up with a compromise. Next, let's talk about proposals and marriage. The first question is, Did you go ring shopping before the proposal? We didn't really pick out the engagement or wedding ring together. We only went to a jewelry store together once, and he asked if it were up to me would you like this one or that one and I said this one Which meant that the ring that he used during the proposal the size and style both didn't quite fite so we got another style afterwards. Did you realize that he was going to propose? Want to know the details. I had no idea about the proposal I would have expected it to be next year Before the proposal, he secretly called my parents while I was in Taiwan, talked to them, and sought their approval. which I found really cute Afterwards when I came back from Taiwan in Seattle we were eating out with friends and then we went for a walk by the lake. When we got to the lakeside, there was a long deck next to it. I turned my head, and my colleague's friend's sister and everyone were there. Everyone was there, and he got down on one knee and proposed. What's funny is, on the day of the proposal, there happened to be a rowing tournament so when he was on his knees giving me his deepest thoughts I didn't hear a single word because people were cheering in the background (super crazy haha) and it's also because he couldn't say what he wanted to say that's why he organized a photoshoot in Prague to reenact the proposal scene and say what he wanted to say as funny as it was I still felt super moved and happy How did we decide to get married We knew pretty early on that the other person was the right person So why don't you tell us how you decided to propose The real reason why it was June was because you were away we're together like 24/7 It's really hard for me to have the time and space to go and plan something so that's the real reason behind the timing He found a time when he could plan it So he proposed It's based on the foundation, so of course, yeah How long were you together before deciding to get married? At the time of the proposal We were together for two years and one month Actually, I think it was quite fast Right, it's quite fast Where will you settle after marriage? Probably, for now, it will be in Seattle Mainly because I'm applying for a green card So for the next year or two It should be in Seattle Will you try living in other countries after marriage? In the short term, yes For the long term, it really depends on our immigration status Because if, for example, I don't get a green card then we may have to return to Canada If we have a green card It will mainly be in the United States But because we are both fully remote So we might want to see if there's an opportunity To live in a European country Or an Asian country for a month While working remotely It's a bit of a digital nomad feeling Does your boyfriend also own a house? Where will you live after marriage? In Canada, he has his own house, and I have my own house In the US, We will live together in the house in Seattle All expenses will be shared Are your financial situations similar? In terms of income Actually, our incomes are quite similar At most, there's Less than $10,000 difference How will you allocate household expenses after marriage? It seems like we've never really discussed this At the beginning of our relationship He almost always insisted on paying But after we've been together for a while Because I enjoy researching credit cards I would look into which credit cards are suitable for dining Which credit cards are suitable for travel I would arrange which credit cards he could apply for And which ones I could apply for The credit card he currently holds Is suitable for booking flights and hotels So he covers all the flight and hotel expenses The two credit cards I currently hold are suitable for dining And grocery shopping, so I cover all the dining expenses We might also switch cards so the ratio might be a little different it might be different after we get married too but everything will be together of course his place still belongs to him and my place still belongs to me but we won't really distinguish daily expenses Are you planning to have a wedding? Where will the wedding be held? Yes! We do plan to have a wedding Well, It's actually something I'm very troubled about I don't know what I want It should either be in Vancouver Or in Seattle If you have any good suggestions Or if you know any vendors Feel free to leave a message or private message me I really need help Welcome to contact me I have no idea what I want I'm really troubled right now How is it to get along with each other's families? How will you get along with your in-laws in the future? Our relationships with each other's families are currently very harmonious When we first met I felt that his parents and his sister have great relationships And they are super adorable The first time they formally invited me to their house for dinner His mother cooked a lot of delicious dishes His sister took two pictures His mother was cleaning the seams of the stairs His father was standing on the top of the dining table cleaning the top of the crystal lamp Places that people don't normally see He said in the group Is it necessary? After he told me all this I just thought how cute it was His sister is also very, very attentive When I met him He didn't even have 1,000 subscribers yet When he had 1,000 subscribers His sister and her husband prepared a surprise With a big balloon like that of 1,000 subscribers And they bought a cake I was very touched and felt that the family was so warm That's why he's so loving He also really likes my family He really enjoys listening to my parents' stories Even though he's a bit introverted But do you remember that I said that he's a bit introverted He might not talk much himself But he likes to listen to a lot of stories from others Wow, it's so lively It makes me so happy Both of us get along well with our families But how will it be with our in-laws in the future? We live in Seattle now So, we'll have less time to meet And everyone is in different stages of life Arranging some activities To see where to go and what to do To have more interaction with each other This last part is about myself like how I see marraige etc. These are all my thoughts and it might not be worth anything so I wanted to do is to share it with everyone If you have different thoughts, feel free to leave a comment below. The first question and the most asked question in this Q&A is How do you know if the other person is the right one? I think there are several points The first is the reason he's really different from others In front of him I can be completely myself I don't need to change anything to make him happy I feel very comfortable being with him The second point is I'm very aware of his flaws I can fully accept his flaws We still argue and have disagreements at times There are areas where I hope he'll change But even if he doesn't change I don't want to leave this person The last point is He makes me a better person He becomes a better person himself He has many good ideas and habits that influence me So, I feel like This person is really good I want to be like him Many things he sees in me and how I do things Or some concepts I convey to him He feels like I didn't think of these ideas before So how should I do this and that He also becomes a better person We both have more confidence and happiness At the same time, we are more grateful to each other This is what makes us feel so different Three key points I think you basically just stole everything that I was going to say How to find the right person? I don't really believe you can just find the right person It's more like You need to find someone you can get along with Through getting along and adapting He becomes the right person for you So how do you find someone you can get along with? First, you need to increase your chances of meeting people Through work and socializing with others Cultivate your interests Meet more people through your interests Even use dating apps Increase the chances of meeting people Then you'll have a better chance of meeting someone you want to be with The second is that you need to really understand The person you want to be with What are the most important qualities? When you have many ideals (conditions) It becomes difficult to meet the right person Focus on a few key qualities It's easier to meet someone you can get along with What are your criteria for a spouse? Want to know specific qualities The first part is about family background I hope his family background is harmonious And I hope there are no bad habits like gambling or debts The second aspect may be personal abilities I am a hardworking girl I hope the other person is ambitious And works hard and is proactive His abilities and his ambition are equivalent Rather than being ambitious and having no skills Or have skills but no ambition Next might be about personality Kindness and honesty That's why I really like his personality The last point is related to my faith Since I am Christian Of course you didn't have to be Christian, but you can't be against it. Can you accept that the other person is not as strong financially? I can accept the other person having a lower income than me But I can't accept the other person not wanting to improve their income At the end it's the goal of both people so if you want different things, it'll lead to conflict Want to know what led to Judy and her boyfriend decide to get married? What made me feel that this person is someone I can marry I think a big key is that our goals are aligned I can now happily live with this person We both have a shared vision for our future life Both of us have the ability to work together To achieve the life we want in the future In terms of family Both of us feel that having children depends on fate In terms of work We both hope to improve our finances through our own efforts If there's an opportunity We can start a business together Even if it's not starting a business Doing a small business together Our goals and ideas are very aligned What are your thoughts on marriage? Marriage and starting a family Have always been a part of my life plan In life I want to have different roles and experiences I'm very excited about this aspect Having expectations and plans in life Can make me a better and more enriched person The next question is how to conquer a Taurus I don't think I can conquer a Taurus I conquer introverted people It's not like they don't want to have fun and it's not like they don't have energy They just won't do it themselves Me on the other hand I'm always full of energy and I'm fun Sometimes at home when we're both super tired I will go crazy and do really funny dances and he'll laugh I guess this is how you win over your partner Can you accept that your partner keeps in contact with their ex? Nope, haha. I just feel like there are so many people to make friends with, why choose an ex? Not that it's not possible, but it's not necessary. I try to minimize unnecessary things in my life. I don't know if I'm touching on a lot of people's sensitivities, but I think as long as two people agree, if you both can accept it, then it's perfect. For us, we both can't accept it, and we don't have much contact with our exes. Have my love life been smooth sailing? It hasn't been smoth at all It's not because of past relationships, but more so when I graduated college and was looking for a partner was when I was running into difficulties For about 4 years I've met people but never found the right person But I've never given up on meeting new people. I've never been like, Forget it or let it be I'm very straightforward, and I've always been maintaining my social circle. Can you share your views on relationships? The first time I encountered a question I don't know how to answer. Because I'm not sure what "views on relationships" mean. I can't accept polygamy, haha. After shooting this, I'll go and look it up. I'll add a comment below. How to get along if two people have very different personalities? If you have very different personalities, you need to find a good way to communicate, because our personalities are very different. One is more introverted, and the other is extroverted. But we rely on communication to solve many problems. to solve many problems. And we're both willing to make changes. Were you afraid when you first used dating apps? Yes! You know, there's a lot of scary stuff in the news, so with some dating apps. I would absolutely not download. The dating apps I use require you to provide a lot of information. It's still a way to meet people, you just need to know how to use the app and how to protect yourself. I don't want to be single, but I always encounter weird people on dating apps. Do you have any tips for using dating apps? I think I answered that earlier. I don't use sketchy dating apps. I'll check if the dating app requires detailed answers. Some questions can be answered optionally. If some questions are left blank, I just won't look at that person's profile. Because I'll be like what are you hiding And I'll check how many photos they've included. If there are only one or two, I won't add that person. Am I someone who seeks a soulmate? Currently, that's how I see it. I don't tend to pursue things that are hard for me to define because I think it would exhaust me. Last question When faced with a guy I like how do I get them to notice me? How did I get you to notice me? You're so confident that you're just like I know you will like me. I didn't say it that directly. But in my actions, I'm very proactive. If I like a guy, I hope he can notice me or have more interactions with him, I would directly say to him, I want to go to this restaurant next week, or something like that do you want to go with me? Even if it's not the opposite sex, whether it's for work or opportunities I want to pursue, I'm proactive. Don't let yourself regret, being proactive, even if it fails, there's nothing to regret. It's not necessarily your loss. Don't blame yourself for failure. Give yourself more confidence. Be proactive. Okay. That's it for today's questions. It's really difficult to answer many of them because they're about emotions. If it's about work, then I can answer them quickly. I don't know if I've answered everyone's questions. If you don't have my Instagram or didn't have a chance to ask questions earlier, if you have other questions, feel free to message me or leave a comment below. That's it for this episode. We'll see you next time. Bye!