Does the Old Saying ‘Real Poverty Is Easy, but Fake Wealth Is Hard to Bear’ Hold Up?

The folk saying goes that real poverty is easy to live with while fake wealth is hard to bear (真窮好過，假富難挨). What does it mean? It names something we run into constantly in ordinary life.

If a person genuinely has no money and says so, there are ways of living that fit with having no money, and that kind of life turns out to be relatively easy to get through. The person who has no money and still performs wealth to save face cannot keep it up for long.

There is a common expression that loving face to death means suffering while alive (死愛面子活受罪). Chinese people care most about face and fear most about being looked down on, so a great many people will keep up a wealthy front on no money, or on a very limited income, so that others will think better of them.

This is wanting face and not substance. To be respected, people will borrow and take on debt, and still buy an apartment, a car, brand-name goods. They post to WeChat Moments and show off in front of others, afraid that people will not know how well they are doing. On the surface it looks impressive, a life lived with flair. Then the end of the month comes and the bills fall due, and all they can do is stare and worry.

There are many such people now, and they have in fact seen through human nature. Most people favor the rich and look down on the poor. The more money you have, the more willing others are to come close, and the more opportunities there are. The less money you have, the further others keep away, and the fewer opportunities there are.

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This is also why so many swindlers succeed. A swindler packages himself so that the mark sees something to be gained, and only then does the mark bite.

Most people are not swindlers, though. They put on the show only for face, only for the sake of being looked up to, only for a little more opportunity and a few more connections.

They would rather live pinched at home and appear well off outside. Keeping up the illusion means lying regularly and paying regularly for the packaging. The cost is not only an enormous financial one. The psychological pressure is heavy as well, and so they live exhausted.

A husband delivers takeout, but the story told to others is that he works at a big company. The home is rented, but they tell people they bought it. The apartment was bought entirely with borrowed money, but they still tell people they bought it themselves. They do not earn much, but they spend on brand-name clothes and expensive watches. Going home for the New Year, they rent a car so as to arrive in style. They make 3,000 yuan a month and tell people they make close to 10,000.

This is what we commonly call putting it on (裝). Just thinking about it is tiring.

The bitterest part of fake wealth is not that there is not enough money to spend. It is that a person loses all sense of proportion. Real poverty is only a present circumstance, and once it is admitted you can live within your means and improve things gradually. Fake wealth is a problem of the mind. Plainly unable to afford that life, a person insists on living inside other people’s eyes. He looks like a man keeping up appearances. In fact he is overdrawing his own peace of mind.

Real dignity is not making others think you are rich. It is living steadily yourself. Poor without deceit, hard-pressed without fawning, lean without greed, flush without arrogance: that is a person’s foundation. Splendor with no foundation is like foam on water, bright to look at and quick to scatter.

A great deal of the suffering in this world is not caused by poverty itself but by comparison. Look only at what others have and it is easy to forget what you actually need. Think only of being envied and it is easy to turn your life into a burden. Having little money, you can economize. Lacking ability, you can learn. Vanity alone, once you have let it grow, keeps driving you past your means.

People who are genuinely poor do not put on wealth. They live their own lives. They buy when they have money and skip it when they do not, and they spend a little more when they have it and economize when they do not. They dare to admit that they have no money, that their income is low, that they are poor. They are not afraid of being laughed at and not afraid of being looked down on. Living their own lives, they live on solid ground.

The Doctrine of the Mean says: “The gentleman acts according to the position he is in and does not desire what lies outside it. Placed in wealth and honor, he acts as one in wealth and honor. Placed in poverty and low station, he acts as one in poverty and low station.” (君子素其位而行，不願乎其外。素富貴，行乎富貴；素貧賤，行乎貧賤)

The point for us is to keep to our own part. Rich or poor, high or low, we should be clear about where we stand and do what we ought to do. When we are poor, we do what should be done in poverty. When we are well off, we do what should be done in prosperity. We should never get the two the wrong way around. That is what it means to act according to one’s position.

The deeper sense of the line is not that people should be content with poverty and low station, still less that they should stop striving. It is a reminder to stand steady in your own position first. Not feigning wealth while poor is clear-sightedness. Not deceiving others while rich is cultivation. Knowing your own measure, and knowing what to reach for and what to leave alone, is what keeps you from being driven along by your desires.