Someday Is Not Promised

Today I was reminded of something we all know, yet somehow tend to forget.

Life is fragile. And time is short.

A Special Connection

I was reminded of this because I awakened this morning to some sad, harsh news: a longtime friend passed away unexpectedly. Actually, he was more than a friend—he was like a brother. In fact, when we reconnected after losing touch for some time, I learned that one of his daughters is my namesake.

We met in our younger years, toward the end of the 1980s, when I was in undergrad school and he was in the Army. There are certain people you meet in life with whom you immediately feel a sense of familiarity and connection, as though somehow you already know each other. 

That’s how it was with us. 

Before long, he’d given me the nickname “Tater,” and I called him “Lammie” or “LamLam.” We shared our hopes and goals, our uncertainties and challenges, and helped each other through some of life’s ups and downs. 

And we could always make each other laugh. No matter what was going on, one of us could usually say something to lighten the mood and shift our perspective. Sometimes we’d throw in a 1980s movie line (can you guess which movies?) like, “So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice,” or, “Mmmm… good stuff.” It was one of those little things that belonged to our friendship. 

We got each other even when others didn't always understand.

I’ve come to appreciate just how rare those types of friendships are as I’ve grown older.

After we reconnected, it was as if no time had passed—we simply picked up where we’d left off. He took my young son under his wing as his Padawan, sharing with him his love of Star Wars and the teachings of the Jedi Masters whenever we saw him. He even had a customized lightsaber created for my son and arranged for a real Jedi robe to be made by the same woman who made the robes for the Star Wars movies. He truly believed in the Force and the principles of the Jedi—discipline, courage, compassion, letting go of fear and attachment—and he tried to live by those principles in his own life. No easy feat.

Along the way, we may have developed some differing views on certain things, but we never let those differences get in the way. They simply weren't important to us. We focused on what we saw as the best in each other, and wanted nothing but the best for each other. There was never a falling out; nothing was ever left unresolved.

But we were both busy, and time would sometimes slip away. 

We last spoke earlier this year. We were both feeling under the weather and I was supposed to call him back—but never did. He'd been on my mind over the last couple of months, and there were several times I almost called. But each time, something came up, and I put it off.

I guess I thought there was always still time.

And now, there's not…

Every Moment Matters

As this reality sinks in, I’m reminded that the time we've been given in this life should never be taken for granted.

Yesterday cannot be changed. 

Tomorrow is not promised.

What we have is today.

Yet we are so easily pulled into the busyness of life. A host of things fill our days. We become absorbed in our responsibilities, our careers, our goals and plans—and, sometimes, our phones and the many distractions around us.

And along the way, we tell ourselves:

There’s still time.

Time to call.
Time to visit.
Time to say what needs to be said.
Time to do what we know we should do.

But, too often, that time doesn’t arrive.

None of us knows which conversation will be our last, which goodbye will be our final goodbye, or how many days remain ahead of us.

It got me thinking…

Perhaps the question isn't simply, How much time do I have?

It is, What am I doing with the time I have?

Are we giving our attention to what truly matters?

Are we checking in with family and friends?

Are we treating others with kindness and compassion?

Are we holding onto resentment when we could let it go?

Are we postponing something important because we assume there will be another opportunity?

If there's someone who has been on your mind, perhaps there's a reason. Reach out.

If there's something meaningful you know you should say or do, don't keep telling yourself, someday.

Do it as soon as you can.

Because someday is not promised.

Remember What Truly Matters

Life passes so quickly. One day becomes another, then another, and suddenly we look back and wonder where the time went.

In the busyness of life, I hope we can all remember…every person we encounter, every day we are given, and every opportunity to become a better person is precious.

I hope we can remember why we are here—and what truly matters.

Be present.
Be kind.
Be thoughtful of others.
Try to do good.

Say what needs to be said.
Do what needs to be done.

And let go of what does not matter.

Because so much of what we spend our lives holding onto—clamoring for more, holding onto a grudge over something said or done, striving to prove ourselves right or outdo others, worrying about things that seem so important today—may not really matter at all in the big scheme of things.

Perhaps what really matters is the goodness we bring into the lives of others. The person we become along the way. The impact we make in this world. The message we leave behind.

We don't know how much time we have remaining on this earth.

Don't wait for life to remind you how precious it is.

Reach out.
Spend time with those you love.
Forgive.
Be grateful.
Do good.
Share a kindness.

Not someday.

Not when life gets less busy.

Not when everything is perfect.

Today.

Lam, thank you for reminding me—far too soon—how precious life and the people we share it with are. 

I wish we had more time. But…I will always be grateful for the time we did have.

Until we meet again, my friend.