George Washington is often remembered as a military commander, the nation's first president and one of the Founding Fathers. Long before he became a leader, however, he was a teenager carefully copying 110 rules of civility and decent behavior into a notebook—principles that would help shape his character for years to come.
Although the rules were originally written by French Jesuits in the late 1500s, Washington saw enough value in them to copy each one by hand. More than two centuries later, many of those lessons remain surprisingly relevant, offering practical guidance for anyone hoping to communicate with kindness, treat others with respect and carry themselves with quiet confidence.
Choose Words That Build Rather Than Wound
Good manners begin long before someone sits at the dinner table—they begin in conversation.
Washington advised against using "reproachful language" or speaking harshly about others. He also encouraged people to keep discussions "short and comprehensive" and warned that speaking ill of someone who isn't present is simply unjust.
In an era dominated by social media and online debates, those reminders feel just as meaningful today. A thoughtful conversation often says more about a person's character than winning an argument ever could.
Pay Attention to the People Around You
Courtesy isn't limited to words.
Washington believed a gentleman should be aware of how his actions affect others. He advised respecting personal space, avoiding displays of joy in front of someone who is suffering and paying attention when another person is speaking rather than interrupting or finishing their sentences.
These habits require something increasingly rare: genuine attentiveness.
Making others feel heard and comfortable often leaves a stronger impression than saying the perfect thing.
Practice Modesty in Everyday Life
Washington also believed appearance should reflect humility rather than vanity.
He encouraged dressing neatly and appropriately while cautioning against seeking admiration through outward display. His memorable advice to "play not the peacock" reminds readers that confidence doesn't require constant attention from others.
The principle extends beyond clothing. Whether through possessions, achievements or status, modesty allows character—not appearance—to speak first.
Courtesy Begins at the Table
Even ordinary meals, Washington believed, reveal a person's consideration for others.
He advised against eating greedily, speaking with a full mouth or rushing through a meal. Good table manners weren't simply about etiquette—they reflected patience, self-control and respect for the people sharing the table.
While dining customs have changed over the centuries, the underlying values remain much the same.
Listen Before You Speak
One lesson that deserves renewed attention today is Washington's advice on listening.
"When another speaks," he wrote, "be attentive yourself," adding that people should avoid interrupting or answering before another person has finished speaking.
In a culture that often rewards the quickest response, genuine listening has become an increasingly valuable form of respect. Giving someone the time to finish a thought communicates patience, humility and a willingness to understand before being understood.
Keep Your Promises
Washington also believed integrity is measured by follow-through.
"Undertake not what you cannot perform," he advised, "but be careful to keep your promise."
The guidance is simple but enduring. Trust is built not through grand gestures but through consistently doing what we say we will do, whether in our families, friendships or workplaces.
Let Reason Guide Disagreement
Differences of opinion are inevitable, but Washington encouraged approaching them with humility rather than stubbornness.
He urged people not to become overly attached to their own views and to allow others the opportunity to express theirs. Calmness, fairness and self-restraint, he suggested, are qualities that strengthen relationships rather than weaken them.
Centuries have passed since Washington copied these rules into a school notebook, yet their appeal lies in their simplicity. They aren't complicated formulas for success or leadership. Instead, they encourage habits practiced one conversation, one meal and one interaction at a time.
In a fast-moving world, those small acts of courtesy may be among the most enduring marks of good character.
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