My Musical Inspiration: "In Search of You" (Part 1)

Note: The following is Yu (Yu Menglong)'s spiritual message.

Continued from My Musical Inspiration: “Love Like Liuli (琉璃)”

At the end of 2016, I negotiated with the entertainment industry. I told them that if they wanted me to continue producing music at a high level, I could no longer be forced to serve VIP clients, because it was destroying both my creative progress and my inspiration.

The death of Qiao Renliang after persecution had deeply shaken me. It made me realize that time was running out, and I needed to gather as much evidence as possible about the black industry chain.

The physical and psychological trauma from being forced to serve powerful clients was overwhelming. It only delayed my ability to collect information and evidence.

I had promised my guardian angel that I would fulfill my mission in this world. I was not afraid of dying—but I could not bear the thought of facing her in the afterlife having failed to keep that promise.

The senior executives were stunned. I had always been the most obedient and compliant among them. My request shocked and infuriated them.

At that time, all I wanted was to survive long enough to gather more evidence, so that one day, if I ever gained my freedom, I could reveal the truth to the world.

This was the promise I had made to my guardian angel. She had taught me methods and techniques for collecting evidence. In the past, all I could do was obey. But now, I no longer had time to simply submit.

The executives, of course, refused my request. That very night, they instructed Du Qiang to carry out a punitive sexual assault against me.

Every well-known artist had a designated operative responsible for enforcing punishment. In my case, that role belonged to Du Qiang.

A punitive sexual assault was carried out not for sexual gratification, but to humiliate a person's dignity and inflict physical suffering.

As he brutally assaulted and degraded me, Du Qiang sneered:

"Everyone in the entertainment industry knows you're nothing but a 'Xinjiang Boy'—ridden by thousands, used by tens of thousands. So stop pretending to be pure. They're going to freeze you and give you time to think. Today's just a warning. Don't force us to show you what real punishment looks like."

"Xinjiang Boy" and "Xinjiang Girl" were derogatory slurs within the entertainment industry, referring to artists who endured the most severe abuse and exploitation.

Only later did I learn what they meant by "freezing" me.

First, they would exploit me relentlessly, forcing me to film day and night.

While I was on set, they shackled me with an electronic ankle monitor to prevent me from escaping. Once they had accumulated enough unreleased dramas to convince the public that I still had a steady stream of projects, they planned to lock me inside an iron cage and force me to continue composing music.

Standing in the bathroom, I washed the blood from my wounded body while desperately trying to erase the words "ridden by thousands, used by tens of thousands" from my mind.

Those words reignited the overwhelming feelings of filth and self-loathing that had haunted me for years.

Those emotions severely disrupted my connection with my guardian angel, making it much harder for her to reach me and protect me in time.

Some time earlier, while I was being forced to serve the son of a high-ranking Communist official, I had been gang raped and secretly filmed, leaving me with devastating physical and psychological trauma.

The overwhelming sense of filth and self-hatred born from that experience had nearly cost me my life. Had my guardian angel not reached me in time, I might not have survived.

From that day onward, it left me with a lasting psychological wound. Whenever I could no longer suppress those feelings of filth and self-loathing, my body would react uncontrollably. Sometimes I would suffer relentless nosebleeds. Other times, I would begin vomiting blood.

Although my guardian angel continued helping me heal, that wound in my heart never completely disappeared, because deep inside, I had never fully overcome the profound self-denial created by those feelings of contamination and shame.

The day after Du Qiang's punitive assault, they immediately ordered me to serve another VIP—a particularly lecherous man—as another form of punishment.

This time, I failed to suppress the overwhelming feelings of filth and self-loathing.

I began vomiting blood and suffered severe diarrhea. Years of being forced to serve others sexually had damaged my body so severely that I could no longer control my bowel movements. For a long time, I had to wear adult diapers.

Normally, while I was being assaulted, I would force myself to suppress the physical distress and carefully regulate my bowel movements until I could return to my own room. Otherwise, soiling a client's room would only bring even harsher beatings and abuse.

But perhaps Du Qiang's assault the previous day had been too inhuman. My injuries had not yet healed, and this time I simply could not hold it back.

The VIP was so horrified that he immediately ordered someone to send me away.

When my guardian angel came to heal me, I asked her,

"Do you also see me as someone who's been ridden by thousands and used by tens of thousands?"

She said nothing.

She simply held me tightly.

I did not dare say anything else that would make her heart ache for me. I could not bear the thought of causing her more sorrow.

Wrapped in the warm embrace of her golden-orange light, I cried without restraint, like a child, allowing every humiliation and every pain to flow away with my tears.

After this incident, they no longer dared force me to serve VIP clients.

First, they feared offending important guests.

Second, they feared that if something truly happened to me, they would lose the ability to continue exploiting me.

So they decided to freeze me instead.

Locked inside an iron cage, I refused to compose another single piece of music.

Du Qiang dragged me out of the cage and beat me until I was half dead, but I refused to surrender or cooperate.

Because I knew that continuing to obey the entertainment industry would do nothing to help fulfill my mission of obtaining evidence of the black industry chain.

I remained frozen for two years.

By 2018, the entertainment industry had reached a dead end. They were furious, yet they could not simply kill me.

First, before I had been frozen, they had forced me to rush through numerous television productions. Once those dramas aired, they became highly successful, and I accumulated a massive fan base both inside China and overseas.

Second, my facial features and appearance were distinctive, making it difficult to find a convincing body double.

If I were to die, the entertainment company would have no credible explanation for my fans. Privately, they would also lose the enormous profits they could make by trafficking me through the dark web.

The company's senior executives held a meeting to decide what to do with me.

In the end, they arranged for me to spend more than a year teaching in the remote mountain villages of Lüchun County, Honghe Hani and Yi Autonomous Prefecture, Yunnan Province.

Publicly, they announced that I would spend three years volunteering as a teacher.

In reality, because my television dramas had become successful, many new scripts were waiting for me, and they also needed a continuous supply of songs for others to release.

As a result, I was allowed to remain there for only a little over one year.

Before I left for the teaching assignment, they still forced me to rush through numerous television dramas and continue writing music, supplying new songs for Zhou Pin, music producers, and selected singers to release under their own names.

Within the entertainment industry, these so-called teaching assignments were actually a form of punishment for artists who refused to obey. Their purpose was to sideline the artist and gradually erase them from the public's memory.

However, because I had completed so many television dramas before being sent away, my fans and the viewing public never realized that I had effectively disappeared.

Even after my death, when Yu En Transmission released my account, some fans still questioned whether I had ever gone to teach in the mountains at all, because throughout that period, my television dramas continued airing as though I had never left.

Yu Menglong: 

The primary reason I have shared the stories of the abuse I endured is to expose the black industry chain.

I hope that my supporters—the Lemons, the Yu Family, and all who care about me—will not immerse themselves too deeply in those painful experiences, as doing so may cause emotional trauma of your own.

I fulfilled my mission. My guardian angel and I have already reunited in our world. So please do not grieve too deeply over the suffering I endured during my lifetime.

Continue in My Musical Inspiration: "In Search of You" (Part 2)

Explore the complete collection of stories behind Yu's original music:

https://www.ganjingworld.com/collection/1ilf9v6tumi3bHSSitX6quX11i0p

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