My Musical Inspiration: "The Mysterious Bird" (Part 1)

Note: The following is Yu (Yu Menglong)'s spiritual message.

By now, many of you already know that numerous beloved theme songs from popular Chinese television dramas were, in fact, born from my own creative efforts. But that was only a small part of it.

Throughout my lifetime, under the exploitation of the mainland Chinese entertainment industry, I poured my heart and soul into composing countless musical works. They were treated as resources to be assigned to others, published and credited under other people's names.

Those within the Chinese entertainment industry knew that Zhou Pin was responsible for monitoring me. Whenever he received a new project, he would simply hand me the production materials and force me to write lyrics and compose music according to the requirements. However, the people whose names appeared as the songwriters—or the singers who performed the songs—could never truly understand the meaning behind my work, the emotions I poured into it, or the genuine source of my inspiration.

Today, I'd like to use the song "The Mysterious Bird (玄鳥)" as an example to share the true inspiration behind my music.

Guardian Angel

"The Mysterious Bird" was written as an insert song for the popular 2023 Chinese xianxia fantasy drama Till the End of the Moon (長月燼明). The melody I originally composed was rooted in traditional Chinese musical aesthetics. Later, professional musicians in the Chinese entertainment industry added Western folk and rock elements, causing the song to lose much of the purity and intention I had originally envisioned.

On the surface, the lyrics seem to portray the tragic romance between the drama's protagonists, Tantai Jin and Li Susu, whose love spans three lifetimes. In truth, however, the song had nothing to do with romantic love. Its inspiration came from the guardian angel who protected me throughout my life.

As everyone knows, the Chinese Communist Party promotes atheism, encouraging people to believe only in the Party rather than in gods or Buddhas. Growing up under that influence, I had no concept of divine beings. Yet ever since I can remember, this guardian angel was always with me. She never granted me wealth or worldly advantages. Instead, she appeared whenever I was in danger, quietly remaining by my side. She often came to me in dreams or through intuition, giving me strength, healing, and inspiration. She comforted me, encouraged me, and repeatedly told me never to give up—that I had to keep living.

At the time, I could never understand it. According to the atheism I had been taught, gods did not exist. If there were no gods, then who had sent this guardian angel?

I never once saw her face. What I could perceive was the figure of a woman dressed in a flowing white robe, radiating a warm golden-orange light. Perhaps that is why I have always loved that color.

Whenever my inspiration ran dry and I felt helpless because I could no longer write music, she would appear. She would sing to me. Although I never knew what songs she was singing, they brought me comfort, inspiration, and renewed hope. She made sure I could continue producing music, sparing me from further persecution by Zhou Pin or from being locked inside an iron cage by Du Qiang.

Every time I suffered abuse and humiliation at the hands of evil people, she would appear again. Through her embrace and her singing, she soothed the wounds left on both my body and my heart. Even while the abuse itself was taking place, I always felt that she was trying to protect me.

Why did I feel this way? Because I could only feel the humiliation and pain when the abuse first began. Afterward, my consciousness often became blurred. Although the violence continued, my spirit somehow separated from my body. On several occasions, it even felt as though my soul had left my body entirely. Held safely in my guardian angel's embrace, I looked down from above and watched my own body being violated and harmed.

Those who abused me had no humanity whatsoever. They inflicted tremendous damage upon my body. Yet somehow, my guardian angel shielded me from fully experiencing the agony, sparing me from unbearable physical suffering in those moments. I never knew whether that pain had somehow been transferred to her instead. Nor did I understand what I had ever done to deserve such protection—or such sacrifice.

My life was filled with suffering beyond what most people could possibly imagine. Many times, I wanted to end my own life.

Each time those thoughts arose, my guardian angel would appear and patiently explain why I could not do so. She told me that I had come into this world with a mission. If I fulfilled that mission, many people would one day be saved. But if I ended my life prematurely, those people would lose their chance for salvation.

I asked her,

"What kind of mission could possibly require me to keep living this broken, scarred life?"

She always smiled.

"Keep living. One day, you'll understand."

For reasons I still cannot explain, despite having grown up without any belief in gods or Buddhas, I trusted her completely.

Even after making that promise, there were still times when the overwhelming pain became too much to bear. Exhausted in both body and spirit, I would quietly sing the songs I had written. I sang them for the guardian angel who had always protected me.

That is why, despite the cruel exploitation I endured within the Chinese entertainment industry, I never stopped loving music. Music was the bond between us.

I often questioned myself.

Was she truly real? Or was she simply a hallucination born from unbearable suffering?

I once asked her,

"When will I finally see the real you—not just a radiant light or a woman in a white robe, but your true self?"

She smiled and answered,

"When you have completed your mission, we will meet."

From that day on, she became the pillar that sustained my life, and I never forgot the words she left me with:

"Born into this world as a human, always live toward the light."

Yu Menglong: 

The primary reason I have shared the stories of the abuse I endured is to expose the black industry chain.

I hope that my supporters—the Lemons, the Yu Family, and all who care about me—will not immerse themselves too deeply in those painful experiences, as doing so may cause emotional trauma of your own.

I fulfilled my mission. My guardian angel and I have already reunited in our world. So please do not grieve too deeply over the suffering I endured during my lifetime.

Continued in My Musical Inspiration: "The Mysterious Bird" (Part 2)

Explore the complete collection of stories behind Yu's original music:

https://www.ganjingworld.com/collection/1ilf9v6tumi3bHSSitX6quX11i0p

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