Imagine, for a moment, that you are moving apartments. You have hired movers. Good movers — professional, efficient, with a truck and dollies and those little furniture blankets that cost more than your actual furniture. They arrive at 8 a.m., and by 2 p.m. everything you own is in the new place.

And it is everything. The movers were thorough. They took the couch, the dishes, the clothes, the good whiskey and the bad whiskey, the guitar you haven’t played since 2017, the treadmill that functions primarily as a clothes rack, the box of cables you cannot identify but are afraid to throw away, the tax documents from 2009, the birthday card from an ex that you should probably have discarded years ago.

You are, technically speaking, fully moved in. Nothing was lost. The movers get five stars.

And yet. Standing in your new apartment, surrounded by the complete and faithful reproduction of your old life, you feel something that moving companies do not advertise: the creeping suspicion that you have moved all your problems with you, and none of your solutions.

This is what Apple‘s Migration Assistant does to a developer’s computer. And this is a story about what happens next.

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