The cultural shift where the language of the boardroom — ROI, KPIs, and market value — has invaded the sanctuary of the living room. It’s an exhausting way to live, isn’t it? To feel like you are only as lovable as your last “contribution.” A reflection on the difference between being useful and being honored strikes at the heart of why so many people feel lonely, even when they are in a marriage or relationship.
In this age of breakneck speed, we have grown used to placing everything on a scale. Street chatter and online hot takes are filled with a harsh refrain: “All human relationships are essentially value exchanges.”
The commodity view: ‘Merger and acquisition’
We audit our partners annually. If the “emotional dividends” or “financial projections” dip, we consider liquidating the asset. This leads to a constant, low-grade anxiety that if we falter, we will be replaced. And so marriage is dismantled into a cold equation: Men are expected to provide material value; women, emotional value. As if the moment you can no longer add weight to the scale, you lose your right to exist — fair game for “optimization,” perfectly disposable. This way of thinking reminds me of an old saying: “All things have spirit.”
An object that has been used for years — even chipped, faded, or no longer useful — is often hard to throw away. Why? Because time has warmed it. Because we have poured our feelings into it. If we treat objects this tenderly, how can human beings deserve less? Yet modern hearts are growing harder by the day. When the person beside you falls ill, loses a job, or is simply exhausted — when they can no longer produce so-called “value” — they are suddenly seen as a burden.
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