Parent-Teen Communication

Children are the loves and treasures of parents and no loves or treasures want to be treat like this:
1. Blaming and personal attacks by words from parents:
Examples: “It’s your fault”, “Why can’t you get better grades?”, “What’s wrong with you?”
Blaming and personal attacks on children by words from parents can hurt and destroy children's self-esteem. These words even can haunt children for all their lives. Children need constructive advice from their parents.
Instead of criticizing children, parents can express their opinions by asking questions and showing concern for their children. As a rule, parents need to focus on asking why and avoid making offensive comments. This will help their children open up and feel more comfortable listening to and talking with their parents.
2. Imposing words:
Examples: “You can't do that!”, “You have low self-esteem because you have bad friends” , “Stop acting immature!” “You’re not allowed outside”
Many parents believe they are superiors and have the right to despise and reject their children's words. In some cases, parents "compete" with their children to show their power. This way of showing this attitude will make children think their parents do not value them; their words have no value in the family.
Children are very sensitive to being put down in negative ways by their parents. It can destroy their self-confidence. When talking with children, parents need to put themselves on an equal footing with their children as friends. Thereby, children will be receptive and have a different view of the conversations between parents and children.
3. Disrespectful words from parents:
Examples: "You are too lazy!”, “Thought you should be smarter”, “You’re lazy and selfish”
Some parents consider profanity to be the best way to express their feelings. However, these "shortcuts" in adult expressions are entirely inappropriate when conversing with children. Children will feel hurt and have unrespected eyes on their parents.
Parents are people who are close to their children and are role models for children to follow and apply when communicating with society. If parents use profanity often, their children will imitate and think these words are entirely normal and are allowed to be used widely.
When talking to children, parents need to look their children straight in the eye and avoid private activities such as using the phone, watching TV, or reading a book. Parents should focus on listening to their children also. If children talk, but their parents don't pay attention, they will feel their words have no weight, and their parents do not care about the conversation.
4. Commanding words (orders) from parents:
Examples: “Put your phone away”, “Turn off TV and get to bed”, “Stop giving me an attitude!”, “Don’t give me that attitude!”
Some parents find it difficult to let their children express their opinions. The reason is that parents feel this is undermining their authority, or they fear their children will think that their parents are giving in to them. So parents usually give orders and force their children to obey immediately without any explanations or feedback.
When talking to children, parents should let their children express all their thoughts. If parents speak non-stop or reject what their children say, children will not have the opportunity to speak their minds and feel frustrated because they are not heard and do not want to hear their parents talking anymore.
The key to building the perfect conversation is to listen with all heart. If children need advice, let them finish talking and then comment later. If children give wrong views, parents can analyze what is right and wrong so that children can understand and learn from experience. Through discussions with parents, children can learn to think before speaking and build decision-making and emotional management skills.
5. Angry words from parents:
Examples: “You are grounded!”, “You used to be so sweet! Now you’re the devil!”
When children do something wrong, simply scolding them will make them not want to listen to their parents. Anger will destroy the entire family conversation and make children tired, hence not wanting to listen or talk to their parents.
If parents are angry, they can tell their children they are unhappy and need time to calm down. When calm, parents can explain why they are angry. So it will avoid conflicts between parents and children and help their children understand, sympathize, and continue to