DEAR BONNIE: Have you ever encountered someone who just became full of themselves? I had a friend who let her ego get the best of her and now we are no longer friends. I really cannot wrap my head around the whole situation. It’s like her ego exploded. Thanks, Jade
DEAR JADE: Let me tell you a little bit about the ego and maybe it will help the sting of losing a friendship. It’s hard to lose a friend however I feel like things happen for a reason and it’s usually to push us in another direction — the direction that we are supposed to be in. You will find your tribe and if someone puts their ego before your friendship it’s better to just walk away quietly. Things have a way of working out as they should be. I learned a long time ago that ego stands for “edging God out.”
The human ego is the part of us that forgets where we came from. It is the small voice that believes we are separate from God, separate from one another, and separate from our own divine nature. The ego is not evil; it is simply the mind trying to navigate a world it believes it must survive. But the soul knows it was never meant to survive — it was meant to remember.
From a spiritual perspective, the ego is the temporary identity the soul wears while walking through the physical world. It is the mask of “I am this body, this name, this story, this pain, this success.” The ego clings to labels because it fears the vastness of who we truly are. The soul is infinite; the ego is terrified of infinity. So it builds walls, roles, and narratives to feel safe.
The ego is born the moment a child first feels separate from love. It forms from the belief that love must be earned, protected, or defended. Every wound, every praise, every expectation becomes a thread in the ego’s fabric. Over time, the ego becomes the storyteller of our identity — but not the author of our truth.
Spiritually, the ego is the part of us that forgets God’s voice. It is the part that says, “I am alone,” while the soul whispers, “You are held.” It says, “I must prove myself,” while the soul says, “You already are.” It says, “I am not enough,” while God says, “I created you in my image.”
The ego reacts; the soul responds. The ego fears: the soul knows. The ego grasps: the soul receives. The ego divides: the soul unifies.
Yet the ego is not the enemy. It is the teacher. It shows us where we still believe in separation. It reveals the places where we have forgotten our divine origin. Every trigger, every jealousy, every insecurity is a doorway back to God. The ego exposes the illusion so the soul can reveal the truth.
When the ego is unbalanced, it becomes loud — defensive, controlling, offended, competitive. It tries to protect the identity it built. But when the ego is healed, it becomes humble, flexible, and quiet. It becomes a servant of the soul rather than a shield against it.
A spiritually-aligned ego does not disappear; it transforms. It becomes the personality through which the soul expresses itself. It becomes the vessel for purpose, creativity, compassion, and service. A healthy ego says, “Let me be a channel for something greater than myself.”
The journey is not to kill the ego but to reunite it with God. Let the mind remember what the soul has always known. You are not separate. You are not small. You are not alone. You are a divine being having a human experience, and the ego is simply the part of you learning how to remember that. I hope this helps you to understand the circumstances that we sometimes go through. Follow your soul. Your soul knows the truth. Just remember ego stands for “edging God out.”
Bonnie Page is a psychic medium, spiritual teacher and reiki master. If you would like to find out more about bonnie please visit her website www.bonniepagemedium.com If you would like to send Bonnie a question for her column please send it to [email protected]