For much of my life, I carried a quiet but persistent resentment toward my mother.

Looking back, I can see that much of it was shaped by how I perceived my childhood. My mother, under the strain of raising several children, often had a short temper. In my young mind, I felt hurt and deprived of the warmth I longed for. Those impressions stayed with me for years and gradually hardened into judgment.

Even as an adult, I found myself reacting to her in the same old ways—arguing, feeling wronged, and holding onto grievances I could not seem to release.

When I began reading Mr. Li’s books and learning Falun Dafa, I understood that I should strive to become a better person. The teachings were clear, but applying them—especially within my own family—was far more difficult. I would resolve to be more patient, yet when situations arose, my temper would return. Each time, I felt I had fallen short.

Over time, I began to recognize that this resentment was not something trivial. It is a kind of hostility, an emotion of anger that arises from a real or perceived wrongdoing, which could develop into hatred.

I saw that my reactions were often triggered when my expectations were not met, or when I felt slighted. What I had long justified as “personality” or “habit” was, in fact, something I needed to confront and let go.

It was not until later, when my parents grew older and needed care, that I was forced to face this more directly. Spending extended time with my mother brought our conflicts to the surface again. I could see clearly how I spoke to her—impatient, sharp, and lacking kindness—yet I still struggled to change.

A turning point came through a simple but piercing remark from my sister. She questioned why, if I practiced Falun Dafa, there had not been a more fundamental change in me. Her words stayed with me. I realized that while I had been reading the teachings, I had not truly applied them where it mattered most.

That realization led me back to the books with a different mindset.

One passage stayed with me as I reflected on my struggle:

“As long as you have attachments, they will all be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, and through that you will come to realize things. That is how cultivation is done.” Zhuan Falun, Lecture Four, “Transformation of Karma” (2018 English translation)

I began to see my relationship with my mother not as a problem to fix, but as an opportunity to examine myself.

Through continued reading, I also came to understand more deeply what it means to let go. I reminded myself:

“You may talk cultivation
But you have to discard the attachments
that you hold deep inside
What's given up is not oneself
But instead the folly of delusion.”
— Hong Yin II (The Grand Verses), “Discarding Attachments” (2022 English Translation)

These words stayed with me. Each time resentment surfaced, I tried to pause and look inward instead of reacting outwardly. Instead of focusing on what I believed my mother had done wrong, I asked myself what I needed to change.

This was not immediate, nor easy. Old thoughts would reappear, sometimes strongly. But gradually, through repeatedly studying the teachings and correcting my thoughts, something began to shift.

I also came to recognize that what I had dismissed as “losing my temper” carried deeper implications. The teachings describe it this way:

“One’s demon-nature is viciousness, and it manifests as killing, stealing and robbing, selfishness, wicked thoughts, sowing discord, stirring up troubles by spreading rumors, jealousy, wickedness, anger, laziness…”
— Essentials for Further Advancement, “Buddha-Nature and Demon-Nature” 

This helped me see that my harsh words and impatience were not minor flaws—they were things I needed to genuinely eliminate.

As I continued to read and reflect, my thoughts toward my mother gradually became calmer. Where there had once been tension, there was now space. Where there had been judgment, there was a growing sense of understanding.

I began to feel something I had not expected—compassion.

Caring for her no longer felt like a burden. Instead, it became something natural, even meaningful. I no longer measured her against my expectations, nor held onto the past in the same way.

One day, I realized quietly that the resentment I had carried for so long was simply no longer there.

Nothing external had dramatically changed. But internally, everything was different—lighter, clearer, and at peace.

Through this experience, I came to understand that real change does not come from trying to change others, but from refining oneself. And it was through reading and applying Mr. Li’s teachings that I was able, step by step, to let go of something I once believed I never could.

This story is shared by a reader in Hubei Province, China. Adapted and edited from an article originally published on Minghui.org.